It's such a joy to have her in our family.
Does it make me think about having a baby?
Yes. It does.
I hold her and I love her and she wants to be near me every second.
And of course I wonder what that would be like...with a baby.
But, month after month, no baby.
Year after year, another birthday.
Day after day, still not attempting the project of adoption (a.k.a. moving to the states, getting a stable job, getting insurance, a car, and an address.)
And so, I feel every possibility of a child passing us by.
I think about it a lot.
And I hold Sila a little tighter.
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