15 September 2015

My Love Wall After My Divorce


Hi dear readers!

You know how children often draw lots of pictures and give them to people?

Well, I was the lucky recipient of many, many drawings during my divorce - from some of my dearest  little Brooklyn friends.

It was pretty much the cutest thing ever.

As I sat in my home alone - after adjusting a few things to try and make it my own - I couldn't bear to throw out those drawings as they came in.

And so, I taped them to my kitchen wall in a tetras display.

Pretty soon the wall was nearly covered, and a nearby door, too.

I began to add cards that people had sent (isn't that the loveliest thing ever to receive a piece of mail?)

I taped up receipts from brunches with friends.

Or movie tickets from a friends birthday night.

I added photos of dear ones.

The display got wider and wider and was quite literally BURSTING with evidence of LOVE; of a beautiful life; of hope; of abundance; of friendship.

It made my heart melt every time I looked at it.

(I wish I had a better photo of it. After a couple of years, it eventually got narrowed down to just the door. :)

In case you're needing some reminders of how loved you are - or how dang beautiful your life is- begin collecting EVIDENCE. It is out there. 

XO, Mara

P.S. Here's an idea: once your Love Wall gets started, SEND ME A PHOTO and share one or two things that you added to it. Would you please? It would be way too fun (and inspiring) to share it on the blog! mara@ablogaboutlove.com. 

Did you like this post? Please share it or leave a comment below! XO

13 comments:

  1. Hmmm. Hi Mara? I'm soo in love with your Love Wall Idea. I will do it soon and email you my photos. :)


    www.mindspiritdesign.com
    justine@mindspiritdesign.com

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  2. I love this idea. I recently ended a 3 1/2 year relationship, and while I had to do it, it was super difficult to change my life so drastically. While grappling with this, I have been digging through drawers looking at all the small things that remind me of the love in my life, but it would be even more powerful too see them all together every day.

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    1. First of all, high fives for doing something you know you needed to do. I know that difficulty. You are AMAZING for making it happen.

      And Yes! It is so, so powerful to look at all that beautiful evidence every day. Get started on your Love Wall! It really, really makes a difference.

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  3. I love this Mara! Did you jave a problem comparing yourself to other women after your divorce? How did you deal with that? Any specific things you did to help with that? I see woman and think " i need to be more outdoorsy like her" or " that's why I'm not in a good reltionship, I nees to be as pretty as her" or "I am to messed up to be a good mom" it has been really hard, just looking for your words of wisdom!

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    1. Hi dear. So, the timing of when I started to live my life in a new way just happened to take place a year before my marriage ended. I wasn't SO experienced yet - and still had some wrinkles to iron out, which got better and better over time. But it turns out that the comparison thing was one vice that was eliminated early on. I hear you, though. Because earlier in my marriage I used to very much compare my looks and fertility and personality to other women. The looks and personality part was mainly because my husband gave me reason to doubt those things. BUT. As I learned to not give a crap what he thought about me - or what others thought about me - I was able to be more and more comfortable in my own skin.

      I think ALL of this has do with self worth first and foremost. That was the birthplace. I had to believe that I ALREADY had self worth as a human being. I didn't have to do ONE THING different in order to be worth something. And so, once that belief is clear and strong in your head, I think it becomes easier to just ACT on it: to stop needing to be like other people; to stop telling yourself you're not good enough or interesting enough; to walk into a room and feel like you have something to offer. As you further ACT on your worth, your self esteem can be rebuilt. Because you're finally doing esteemable things. You're doing things that feel good. You're changing the script in your head because you see the good in yourself. You're giving off a different energy and attracting more feedback that you are, indeed, worthy and wonderful.

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  4. Todo lo que comparten me nutre tanto... Son una bendicion en esta ciudad. Sobre todo porq dan esperanza a quienes han pasado por lo mismo que ustedes... Gracias infinitas :)

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  5. I love this! This is off topic, but what is that box/screen thing on your door? :)

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    1. Hi ! That is a little video monitor so we could see who was buzzing at our doorstep (4 floors down). In Brooklyn we lived in a newish condo building - and a lot of new condos have that sort of thing.

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