24 September 2015

Feeling Disconnected? 16 Topics to Spark Vulnerability During a Date


Once a reader mentioned that she'd love some ideas for what to talk about or how to connect with her partner while on a date.

I think it's totally a worthwhile topic to discuss because it's easy to have all the conversations dominated by topics related to kids, work drama, or the house falling apart...or perhaps it's easy to get sucked onto your phones during a date. [That never happens, right? ;)] I mean, life can begin to feel pretty lifeless when we don't connect; when we go about our days and weeks on end without our soul making it's way to the surface. I think it can be easy to even forget what that feels like.

So, how about we all strip away the surface stuff and see what happens. I wrote out some ideas for practicing some deep CONNECTION and VULNERABILITY. I mean, you could potentially even have this list handy on your phone for some instant ideas if the conversation is feeling flat. I would totally geek out and do that. :) Because there is nothing better than feeling connected to each other.

Photo today is from our Salt Lake City retreat. Our guests know we all practiced some vulnerability together! haha. It was unreal!! One of our guests (photographer Rebekah Whitesides) captured the moment when Danny and I were saying some vulnerable things to each other so I thought it was fitting for this post. :) 

1.  What can I do for you? How could I be a better husband/wife for you?
Danny always asks me this, quite sincerely. Ahhhh....it gets me every time. 
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2. Is there anything you do that doesn't feel authentic to you or who you want to be? 

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3. What are you succeeding at physically, emotionally, intellectually, creatively, spiritually, professionally? Which areas need some work individually or as a couple?


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4. What are the things you're most grateful for right now?

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5. Do you feel that you've found your calling? Or do you need to keep exploring?
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6. What trip would you go on tomorrow if you could?


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7. What made you smile today?

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8. What are your greatest fears you can't yet shake?


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9. What grudges are you holding onto?


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10. What makes you lovable?

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11. What is your life's biggest dream? How can we get creative and make. that. happen???

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12. What could we do as a couple (or individual) to change the world around us in a positive way?

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13. What makes you feel the most alive?

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14. What do you dream of doing as a couple, that we have never done?


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15. What details do you remember about our first date? First kiss?

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16. Is there something about your work that you absolutely love and why? If not, what would make you absolutely love your work?


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Wouldn't it feel good to have someone ask you stuff like this, if they really wanted to know you more? 

Do you find that deep conversations come easy for you (and your partner)? What holds you back or gets in the way?

See you in the comments section!

Love to all,

Mara


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11 comments:

  1. I love this! And hope and pray that I will have a partner to share these questions with in the future. For now I will share them with my friends and hope that they will use them :)

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  2. Lovely... First question is most thought provoking and sensible it itself contains all the care concern and love.

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  3. My husband asks me the first question quite frequently. As a newlywed it throws me off, because I don't know what to tell him. It's definitely a thought provoking question for me. I'm not used to having someone in my life who wants to do that on a consistent basis without me asking for specifics. These are really great questions and I'm definitely going to use them.

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  4. Love this list! 8 years and 4 kids later, my hubby and I could use some help on our dates with coversation that's not always about the kids, work, home etc... Thanks

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  5. Love this post. I always have trouble starting into the conversations these questions lead to so this list is perfect, for anyone at any stage in their relationship. I love vulnerability it such a strong part of what makes us human and it is such a beautiful thing. Thank you for your continued inspiration, and the picture credit, you two are as usually absolutely wonderful.

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  6. After thinking about these questions for a while today....in addition to having this conversation with a spouse (awesome) I found myself wondering what my children would say to these questions. I think I'll ask them on our next "mama and me" date :) Thanks for this wise inspiration. - Meg

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    1. K, you have me smiling. So glad this provoked a conversation today. And smiling even more at the thought of a mama and me date with some good conversation questions. Love it.

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  7. I love all the ideas...!!! I'm thinking get married for second time... and it's better than first time... now my boyfriend is my friend

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  8. I love all the ideas...!!! I'm thinking get married for second time... and it's better than first time... now my boyfriend is my friend

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