07 April 2015

Love Is In The Air: 5 Ideas For Keeping the Spark Alive

I found an old post draft that I wrote with some sexy love tips. It turns out I wrote quite a few! I must say, reading them was making me laugh, so I decided to dust off the cob webs.

It's spring-time, and love is in the air. So in honor of trying to keep things fun and exciting and light hearted in your marriage, here are...


I mean, where else is a better place to discuss these things??

Alright, let's do it! We'll have a little series over the next bit. Each week, choose just one that sounds good and go for it.

Imagination, freedom, and creativity are snuffed out
when you are burning energy on worry, anger, fear, and negativity all day.
Learn how to manage your energy effectively. It can be done.
(I wrote a whole post about this one!)
Protect it, conserve it. Don't burn it on little things.
It can help if you struggle with feeling
"too tired" or "too stressed" for sex.

And it can help the imagination.

Make time to experience something NEW together.
A new restaurant.
A new hike.
A new town or a new country.
It keeps conversations alive.
Am I right or can't you just think of that one time in ____?
(insert the exotic location of your choice. Maybe it was the kitchen.)

Learn how to live for YOU.
Learn how to thrive in your OWN skin.
Learn how to be an individual and explore your OWN passions.
Do not live for another person.
You are most radiant and irresistible in your own element!!

A retreat just might feel like a honeymoon.
It felt that way for us.
Nothing is better than you & your partner feeling ALIVE
and feeling ALIVE together at the same time.
Taking care of your body & mind changes your vibration.
That can change the vibration of your marriage.
That can lead to lots of smiles.
See you in the U.S. or Ecuador?! :)

Cause you dress up for other people.
Lipstick does wonders.
Ratty sweatpants are not sexy.
Unless that is a novelty, of course. :)

Life is short, friends! Let's make our marriages and relationships the best they can be.

As always, would love to hear your thoughts and additions.



P.S. - We didn't previously request a Vermont volunteer, but it turns out we could use one. Please let us know if you live in the area and would be available to help.


  1. Hi! Emailing as well, but I'm a Vermonter who would LOVE LOVE LOVE to volunteer!

    1. Courtney, yay!!! So glad to have you.

  2. I love the idea of doing something new together to spark a mutual excitement about the beauty of life.

  3. Mara, Your manage energy post is one of your best (and there are many of those!). I just re-read it and it makes even more sense now that I have a committed mindfulness meditation practice. As complicated as the topic of pain is, I agree with you. Pain serves a positive purpose, even if it doesn't feel positive (far from it!). I'm now looking at pain as a feedback mechanism and considering so much of life happens on auto-pilot, present moment feedback of any kind is a reminder to anchor my mind in the now, where my body always is. Gets me a bit closer to a sense of wholeness and self-care and having more energy to create sparks in life!

  4. So my husband has a stressful job and crazy work hours and I stay home and parent (alone most of the time) three small boys. We are both beyond exhausted all the time but manage to stay connected and have a really great spark! I'm not saying this to toot my own horn but because it can be so discouraging when you want to do grand things to stay connected but just can't. I just thought I would share my tips for anybody out there who is in a similar situation where connecting seems just so impossible. It can be done.

    Talk about having sex. Even if it doesn't actually happen there is still something so fun about sending flirty text messages about what *might* happen. We pretty much do this on a daily basis and while it doesnt actually pan out most of the time because of work hours it's still so fun and a great way to connect.

    Touch! This may seem like a no brainer but when you are worked to the bone it's easy to not touch your partner. We always make a point of hugging for a good long time when we first see eachother (sometimes it has been days) and it helps to instantly rekindle that connection. Also random touches are awesome....a random hand massage, or shoulder massage or kiss....touch is so important.

    Sleep naked. No expectations. It's ok if you fall asleep in .25 seconds, the point is you are having an intimate skin to skin moment that does wonders for staying connected and may or may not lead to other things :).

    Really Talk. And really listen. Sounds silly but it's easy not to talk about more than superficial stuff and logistics when you rarely see eachother. My favorite thing that my husband does is come home and tell me all about his crazy long day. I love it. And then I tell him what I did and he listens like its the best story he has ever heard.

    Keep it positive. It's so easy to get discouraged and frustrated but for us our situation has kind of become a joke between us. Right now it's our reality on our way to better things but being able to laugh together about the absurdity of our situation has been key. Like Mara said, managing your energy is so important.

    1. This is so great! What a wonderful example for your boys.

  5. So true... "DO NOT LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR HIM/HER." So many women/men loose themselves in relationships. Do not look to someone to be your better half or complete you (drives me crazzzzy) when I hear that!

  6. Clearly, most of these concepts are for people without children. I enjoy reading blogs about people who have blissful, easy-going marriages. I feel like they are so deliciously unrealistic that I can't even define them as "marriages" rather than the "best roommates ever" in that they have little obligation and endless amounts of time to dedicate to exemplifying how amazing their lives are. It is the struggles, the weaknesses, the mistakes, the slip-ups, the undeniable loyalty and the fortitude that makes a marriage an accomplishment. Not being able to vacation together on a whim and dressing up for each other. I want to have a marriage that is fluid, effortless and doesn't require me to consciously have to work on on my marriage daily. Making it to the end of the day and getting in bed with my other half- yes I said it, other half, because he DOES Compensate for me when I need him to and I will always supplement him in his time of need- does a successful day and a successful marriage make.


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