Danny’s Picks From J.Crew

I thought I just might start a new little series called “Danny’s Picks.” I’m actually not one to shop a ton. So Danny is usually the one picking out some items for me for a birthday or Christmas or anniversary. What can I say, the man has good taste.

Here are his latest picks. I thought I’d share…

Arrow Print Shirt from J.Crew

 Classic Stripe Shirt by J.Crew

(He loooves button up shirts.)
So how did he do?? Do you have a favorite here?
And, would love to hear if your spouse or partner has some “go to” gifts for you for special occasions. Is it electronics? Books? Household items? Surprise vacations? Plants? DO TELL! I always love hearing about what people in love do for each other. 🙂

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  1. leslie burket. May 27, 2014 at 2:02 pm - Reply

    each Mother's Day my husband picks out a beautiful dress for me.
    the last few years he's taken the kids with him.
    I love the idea of them walking around the store together looking for that perfect dress.

    • mara May 29, 2014 at 2:13 am - Reply

      I LOVE this. A beautiful dress for Mother's Day sounds just about perfect. How darn cute that he takes the kids with him. I'm sure those dresses become treasured pieces.

  2. SarahN @ livetolist May 27, 2014 at 9:50 pm - Reply

    My mother/brothers know 'if in doubt, buy her movie vouchers' – and they are right, I'm pretty happy with that! My mum also buys me an egg every Easter – be it out porcelain, felt, tin etc.

    My BF tends to focus on experiences for me – I don't think he loves not giving me things, but that's ok. I've done Jet skiing with dolphin siting, and I have yet to do the Sydney Harbour Bridge Climb. Prior to those, I got jewellry.

    • mara May 29, 2014 at 2:15 am - Reply

      Movies!!! So cute. Movies are so great, aren't they? Sometimes we would get movie tix in our stockings and it was pretty awesome. And I've always loved the idea of an Easter egg collection. Lucky you! My first husband loved to get me electronics and home goods. Danny loves to pick out jewelry and clothes and shoes.

  3. Anonymous May 28, 2014 at 2:25 pm - Reply

    You're not frightened he is going to look at how the other women look? Or be tempted by looking at other women dressed in darling chic clothes? I would be. My husband would love to do this for me, but I would never let him being that I would be too scared he would be attracted to these other women.

    • danny May 28, 2014 at 3:24 pm - Reply

      Hello Anon. Thanks for writing in. Can I ask a follow up question? Do you have this fear because of past experience with your husband, or do you feel like it is more a reflection of personal insecurity or negative body image?

      I'm sorry that something like this in your own life would cause you pain.

      As for me, it is possible to see and recognize the beauty in someone and not be tempted by it.

    • Anonymous May 28, 2014 at 11:20 pm - Reply

      Good day. Would you be willing to expound upon this all the more? I have wondered how men can appreciate the beauty in someone and not be tempted by it. I am desiring to hear your mindset upon this as I have yet to hear many men discuss this and I am also curious and seeking to learn. Merci.

    • danny May 29, 2014 at 1:34 am - Reply

      It may certainly be true that men are more visually based when it comes to attraction and sexual desire. But that doesn't mean that seeing someone that is beautiful means I start imagining or desiring to be unfaithful to my wife.

      Most of life is structured around stimulation, and then deciding what to do about that stimulation. When you're a child, simply seeing a toy that looks interesting means you crawl right over and take it out of the hands of the other baby that was holding it. There is little control or discipline or consideration of the feelings of another human being.

      It doesn't take a child too many years before they can control that urge….even if they really really really want to see it and play with it, they have learned to control some of those instinctual desires and respect the rights and boundaries of other human beings. And as they grow into adulthood, this maturity (with most human beings) continues to deepen and grow and resisting the desire to take something that is not yours is hardly even thought about any more.

      I think the same could parallel human sexual development. There is a time in most young people's lives where it's hard to think about much else. We all joke about young men in particular because such a state of being seems almost inherent to them all. Of course it probably isn't of everyone, but it's enough of a generalization to fit.

      But, like maturing and growing out of the inclination to take what isn't yours, and learning to respect the boundaries and rights of other people, many people are capable of growing into someone that is capable of legitimately respecting another human being (be it their spouse, or friend, a stranger, etc.)

      Of course, not all babies grow out of the need to take something from another, and some will remain bullies the rest of their lives. So too, not all human beings decide to take a path that exercises a little more control and discipline. I don't think there is anything really magical to it.

      It's also worth noting that some images are specifically designed to illicit inappropriate behavior. It is their sole purpose. I don't consider fully dressed models in a JCrew catalog to be in that category. Though the women may indeed be beautiful, I'm thinking about the clothing they are wearing.

    • danny May 29, 2014 at 1:35 am - Reply


      For what it's worth, Mara wrote and AWESOME post responding to a reader who wondered what she would do if her husband looked at another woman. This post is priceless!

    • mara May 29, 2014 at 2:32 am - Reply

      Hi Anon – my heart goes out to you as that's not a fun situation to be in . For me, I'm not worried one bit by Danny looking at other women, even if they are very beautiful. But I feel very lucky to say that, as I know this situation can be very complicated for many. I guess looks just aren't the most important thing to me and I know they aren't the most important thing to Danny. We both certainly notice good looking people and usually even look at each other and say "wow" if a particularly beautiful/handsome person walks by. But the looks of others are never a threat to either of us and we know that our worth and value as a person or a spouse has nothing to do with what we look like. I'm also very, very lucky to have a husband who respects me completely and appreciates the way I look. I've experienced the opposite, and it took many years to learn how to face that and how to heal from it. It was difficult, but very, very possible to build that confidence, even if the spouse was not contributing to it one bit. The lessons I learned then still benefit me greatly now. I now really, really know that my worth doesn't come from make-up or clothes or a toned body or perfectly applied mascara. I know that I have worth just as I am – without doing a thing. And I act like it. And Danny treats me like it. And I don't doubt and worry that he doesn't want to be with me. It frees me up to be my best self, to feel comfortable in my own skin, to not worry about what he might be thinking. I hope so much that you can be free of your fears somehow. I'm sorry if your spouse makes it difficult, if that's the case. But I'm rooting for you to try and feel confident and whole and non-threatened. It is possible to get there! Even if you're working on it from scratch. I recommend using some positive affirmations. Create some positive sentences about yourself and say them to yourself often until you begin to believe them. That is where I began, and it helped a ton.

  4. chinkara May 28, 2014 at 3:15 pm - Reply

    i like "danny's picks" both the new section and the actual picks. I struggle with the button down shirt as I always need them tailored. that said, a custom tailored shirt is so beautiful.

    so, how how is the international shipping to Ecuador? is it expensive? does it take forever?

    happy early birthday! xoxoxo!

    • mara May 29, 2014 at 2:36 am - Reply

      Hi Chinkara!!! Miss you, my friend. So Ecuador has a shipping service. You can get a P.O. box in Miami and then they can forward items to you from there. It actually doesn't take TOO long (I think 2 wks.) It does cost a bit extra, but it's doable if there is something we really want sent in. Another way to have things shipped is by asking a fellow expat to bring something. It's very common among the expat community, which is really nice. We've had some people do this for us and we plan to return the favor.

  5. ayelen May 28, 2014 at 5:26 pm - Reply

    I'm not much of shopper myself, and my love is the one to pick out a nice piece for me here and there.. I just had my 30th birthday and he bought me a great spring jacket — and a weekend trip to the Dominican 🙂 I'm so thankful for him.

    • mara May 29, 2014 at 2:43 am - Reply

      WOW! What an awesome, memorable 30th birthday. 🙂 That's one birthday when you do kinda want to be spoiled a bit and it sounds like he nailed it. Towards the end of my first marriage I turned 30 and I'm not sure why but my husband didn't buy a gift or plan anything at all. I must say, it felt awful and I just couldn't wait for the day to be over. But that memory made all my birthdays with Danny the sweetest things ever!!!! That's why I just bawled on my first birthday with Danny to think he thought about a gift for me. Sometimes the littlest things mean the world. 🙂

  6. Lissa May 29, 2014 at 5:39 am - Reply

    I bought a shirt EXACTLY like the Blue Buffalo print for my 3 yr old son and I've wanted a shirt just like it ever since… Think I may have to make a purchase soon 🙂 Great picks! My poor husband tries so hard. One year, he heard me say that I liked a new shirt I bought so he went back and bought me one in every color (he knew it was a sure-win). Holidays are nothing in his family so he has learned to make a big deal out of it because it is important to me. Baby steps 🙂

    • mara May 29, 2014 at 5:56 am - Reply

      Danny and I are laughing at this. It's so sweet that he tried!

  7. Anonymous May 30, 2014 at 6:42 pm - Reply

    I have to be honest, "Where did you get that?" is one of my favorite posts from this blog. I think it would be fun to have Danny do a few of those (assuming he really does ask people that question – I know not everyone is comfortable asking). I'm the queen of complimenting others and asking them where they got something that I admire/covet. However, I find that some people are hesitant to tell me and I've even had someone tell me that they don't "share [their] secrets" because they like being unique and not seeing others wearing the same clothes/jewelry/etc. Of course these are random people on the street and not friends or acquaintances of mine. Have you ever run into this response?

    • mara May 30, 2014 at 6:55 pm - Reply

      So glad you like those posts! I guess I can't help but share some good finds when I see them. I'll have to see if we could do a Danny edition for those posts…though I don't think he normally asks people. Also, I've never had anyone that didn't want to tell me where they got something. Most people maybe seem a little surprised that I'd be bold and ask them – as it maybe isn't so normal, especially among strangers. But once we get to talking they just seem so flattered. 🙂 I guess I'd be super flattered, too, if someone not only said they liked my shoes but wanted to know WHERE I got them!! 🙂 It's the ultimate compliment.

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