01 November 2013

Love Announcements


Mums!  I kinda love them.  They brighten up every stoop and make Brooklyn feel so festive.  I used to be such a festive person in my own home and used to decorate for the holidays, but I actually don't do that at all any more.  Since it's just been the two of us, I'd rather save the time and save the money.  Danny applauds me for it...he's the same way.  I always thought that if we had children, I'd get back into making the holidays special.  But I'm realizing right now that there's probably a way for us to make life special and magical for other kids...for example, our neighbor in her 50s doesn't have children, but she sent an email to our building and invited all the neighbor kids to come to her front door for Halloween treats.  It was really sweet...

And here are few things that are fun to share:

-We HIGHLY recommend this documentary...
Danny and I saw Happy People, a Year in the Taiga and we were spellbound! It's about some people who live in Siberia in subzero temperatures and risk their lives to work as trappers during the winter.  They build things like you wouldn't believe (!!!) and have the skills to survive their surroundings.  If you appreciate nature, unbelievable craftsmanship, and hard working people, you will be mesmerized by this film.  It's so well done.

-I found a great hair colorist in Brooklyn.
Haley, at Little Axe Salon in Williamsburg, is amazing.  She did my hair recently and I have been really happy with it.  I thought she did a really detailed, really thorough job and I definitely would go back.  I loved her technique (I hadn't seen painting quite like it before).  Rubi Jones, my all time favorite, also cuts hair at this same salon.  Rubi also just moved back to NYC from Paris!

-Halloween!
Last night we went trick-or-treating with our favorite Sun + Earth.  Their mom was covered in stars and their dad was Mr. Hubble with his telescope.  So great.  (The children's costumes were made from Chinese lanterns, duct tape, and paint!)  And oh man, I think Halloween in Park Slope might be the cutest Halloween in existence (think picture perfect brownstones and lots of amazing costumes by Brooklyn creatives.)  I just love this place so much.




-Natural home scents.
LOVE using natural ingredients to infuse our home with the smell of the holidays. (I've learned recently how harmful synthetic fragrances can be and now don't go near them.)  Growing up we used to simmer sliced oranges and lemons, cinnamon sticks, and clove.  Lately I've mostly just used cinnamon sticks in water, which still does something amazing.  But if I ever get fancy, I'd love to try these delicious natural combinations.

-Homemade Applesauce.
Every year I make homemade applesauce.  No recipe or anything.  I just core and slice up some apples (I leave the peels on), steam them on the stove, pour in a couple of teaspoons of cinnamon, some pumpkin pie or apple pie spice, and a bit of lemon juice.  Then I just blend it all in our Vitamix.  We LOVE it and it smells amazing, the color is a pretty pink from the apple peels, and there is no need at all for sugar...it tastes so good.

-I'm loving this Houndstooth Chiffon Dress from J.Crew...
A classic menswear pattern in neon pink....so great.  I see they have a 25% off sale today only.




-Some great things to do in the Fall.
Fall (In Love) In New York...one of my previous round-ups.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

-Mara

39 comments:

  1. Did you see the parade? We had front row seats at Hancos and loved every minute of it! It was our first year, since last year got rained out by the Hurricane and we were just new to the area. I loved that pirate ship!
    xx,
    Kate at ummmnowwhat.blogspot.com

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    1. We had curry at our friend's home and so we didn't see the parade. How cool that you got great seats at Hancos! We love that place... Danny gets a card punched every time he buys a pho soup and recently he was all happy about cashing in his full card for a free soup. haha.

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  2. Have you talked to Bexadiary recently?? She and her husband battled infertility for years and they decided to adopt through the foster care system. They were hesitant but now not long after are over the moon happy!! They have two littles now that they are adopting and they are the cutest family of 4! It's the most precious thing you've ever seen. Their pictures on Instagram make my heart hurt they're so cute!! They seem like lovely lovely people so it might be fun for y'all to chat with them about their experience!

    Elsa

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  3. Thanks for some great gems in this post! I think we need to look up that documentary, as my husband served in Siberia. I also adore the space family costume. I don't love dressing up, but that I could definitely do! Nearly every year, my parents make buckets and buckets of applesauce. Nothing I can buy in the store compares to those flavors. Glad to see you're on to a wonderful weekend.

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  4. I can't understand going from wanting a child so badly and doing every single thing to make it happen; especially the parts including the enormous cost, waiting for 10+ years, enduring bodily abuse, and then just deciding finally that you don't want to raise one at all. I also wonder if you guys had adopted right away, just discarded the idea of carrying your own child, if you would have discovered earlier that you do not desire to raise one at all? So that makes me question the entire motivation of IVF in your case. Why go through all of it? Only for the end product? What if you had gotten pregnant and had a baby? I know the human spirit would push you to care for the child but now knowing you don't want to raise one at all, on a deeper spiritual plane would you have been resentful toward the child rearing process/the children themselves? Or if you did have a child, you don't truly believe that you could put forth the same effort to help others like you plan to now? And I also wonder what your plan is regarding helping others? And how do you come to terms with all the time that could have been spent on a different trajectory of life, or the money that could have been spent on an existing child in need of parents, or charity, or travel, or further education? And what do you believe is the reason Heavenly Father motivated you to desire motherhood for most of your life? Do you ever think he still wants you to pursue motherhood but in different ways, through fostering or adoption? I wonder myself what his plan is for the 40,000 kids in the foster system in America, or the 175 million orphans worldwide, 120,000 in America alone. Do you wonder if you are the parents of one or a few of those children? I'm not trying to be rude, these are valid questions and thoughts and since this a medium for being curious seeking understanding, i'm asking!

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    1. I hope you don't get any flack for asking any questions! Blogs should encourage questions and expect them. This orphan awareness month and I pray there would be more awareness of the plight of these small littles and how amazingly precious they are!

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    2. I'm sorry but didn't Mara just have a failed IVF that she openly shared with everyone? Can we cut her some slack and give her some time? I'm all for adoption and I'm not saying you shouldn't ask questions but do you truly need to question whether or not they would be resentful towards a child if they had indeed gotten pregnant or adopted? NO! They would not have been resentful. They're living in the moment and they have a purpose regardless of circumstance and whether they get pregnant naturally or adopt or nothing they're not resentful people. PS: it's not every infertile couple's job to adopt a baby and feel pressured into it.

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    3. I also wonder why you have decided that adoption is no longer an option - or maybe you haven't decided that yet, it just sounds like it's implied when you speak about accepting that you will have a child free life now. I don't ask becuase I think that adopting should be an obvious option for infertile couples - I realize that there are plenty of reasons why an infertile couple (and fertile for that matter) may or may not want to adopt and I think that is totally valid. Also I realize it's one of the most annoying/frustrating comments an infertile couple probably hears all the time ("why don't you just adopt"). I'm more so curious becuase Danny and Mara had allraedy previously put out there and made the subject matter of many blog posts that they intended to pursue adoption and had an agency that they were going through. So that's why I'm so curious what changed that mindset. Danny and Mara, I'm sure many blog readers would love to hear your thoughts on this if you think it warrents a post!

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    4. They don't owe the readers an explanation as to why they don't want to adopt. Adopting is not an easy decision to make. It changed your entire life. And just because you don't have kids doesn't mean you have/need to adopt. Yes, they write a blog and share a lot about thier lives, but they don't have to explain what they want to do.

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    5. I agree re: adopting not an easy decision, and just because you're infertile (or fertile) doesn't mean you need to or should want to adopt, etc. Also I agree they don't have to explain this if they don't want to (I mean for that matter, they don't have to explain anything if they don't want to, it's a free country and this is their blog), however, they've already previously shared at some length about their desire to adopt. So since they've already put it out there, I thought it might be an area they were comfortable talking about what changed their mind. They have been open about all of these topics before and advocate the same openness from their readers.

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    6. Really adoption should be for everyone who wants a baby! Fertile or infertile! Why not? Of course the cost is a huge factor, but Mara and Danny have already established they are willing to spend the money. Don't you think we should all get parents or people who love us and raise us as their own? Like race/creed/culture/color/religion whatever! A baby is a baby, a human is a human. Really, I do not get why adoption should not be a consideration for people who want a baby, maybe someone can explain that to me?!

      And to address another bug in my bonnet, sure Mara and Danny don't have to explain anything but they put their personal lives out here on the net to be viewed and dissected by the world, its justifiable that people are and will and should be able to ask questions whether they wanna answer them or not. So really people who are scorning me for asking questions should really consider this reality in proper context.

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    7. What people don't realize is how expensive and complicated it is to adopt. Plus the heartache that frequently happens when an adoption falls through. Yes there's lots of orphans in the world but you have no idea how difficult it is to take one home. Believe it or not it's a lot easier and cheaper to try a couple rounds of ivf before pursuing the adoption route. They JUST had a failed cycle, they need time to grieve the biological child that they can't have and I'm sure it will take a while to get their finances back in order after spending thousands on fertility treatments. They're young people and they have time to figure it out and to gear back up for the battle that adoption will involve if they do choose to go that route.

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    8. I worked at an orphanage for 4 years. I know countless people who have adopted and to day Ivf is cheaper is not the case. It may be the case in some international situations yet no one that I have seen personally who has adopted would agree with that.

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    9. Can I just say to anyone considering adoption please do not listen to all the negative people on the internet who fill people's minds with negativity and fear? That's like telling Mara not to try Ivf because there's been a lot of times it didn't work... Except its children we are talking about. How do you think it makes orphans feel or people who have been adopted feel to read such comments. I have also worked at an orphanage and had the privilege of watching countless families adopt. In all my years of adoption I have only ever seem ONE situation where it "didn't work out". ONE out of hundreds. And that one was because of the parents unwillingness to accept help in adopting. Please don't infect people with fear. Anything bad could happen with anything we do, especially noble things and that doesn't mean we shrink back. If anyone is even considering adoption please go to http://www.147millionorphans.com or please read the book kisses from Katie. Please. Your life will be changed. I'm not advocating people putting pressure on anyone to do anything in life, but please don't spread worries and fears about one of the best things in life. Seriously. Adoption is one of the best gifts. Let's remember that.

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    10. I'm the anon from above... TBH I don't know how it is in the US, but I'm from Canada and the average wait for a child under 2 is about 5 years and cost is around $30,000. I wish that weren't the case and that's my whole point. So many couples would love to adopt but it's not easy. I'm infertile so I was looking into it. It would have been my next step if ivf hadn't worked but I have no idea how I would have come up with that kind of money. So I have nothing against adopting, but I can see why M & D may need to think it over before starting down that road. But like I said, they're young, so even if they did have to wait 5 years that's ok and it will be more than worth the wait and they have lots of time to make up their mind.

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    11. Anon 11/15 9:15pm I'm one of the people who "scolded" you about your question. It wasn't because you were asking about adoption but it was because you were insensitive. Read it again if you haven't done so already "What if you had gotten pregnant and had a baby? I know the human spirit would push you to care for the child but now knowing you don't want to raise one at all, on a deeper spiritual plane would you have been resentful toward the child rearing process/the children themselves? Or if you did have a child, you don't truly believe that you could put forth the same effort to help others like you plan to now?" That was your question! If they would be RESENTFUL!!!! You asked a million thoughtless questions 5 minutes after they had a failed IVF. Until now, they've been unable to have a baby and they want to move on from it even though they wanted it badly enough to have two IVFs and you asked if they would be resentful. ??!!!! I've heard that there is no such thing as a dumb question but there's certainly such a thing as an unkind question.

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  5. I love when you do roundups like this, Mara. I love mums too -- even though I can't afford them this year, I enjoy seeing them at flower stands. Your hair color looks beautiful. And what a lovely impulse to go trick-or-treating with friends' children or to think of ways to bring joy to other children who are not your own. I'm in an analogous situation and I think taking this step is an inspiring idea. You will bring much joy to any child you spend time with, I'm sure! I may follow your lead. Have a beautiful weekend.

    Kristin

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  6. Ohhhh, Park Slope...I was lucky to spend a week there last month and was completely smitten with your neighborhood! I can only imagine how wonderful it is in October/Halloween with all the autumn stoops. What a fun Halloween memory.

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  7. What a pleasant surprise it is to see Haley, Little Axe and me in your blog today! I hope to see you soon!

    And those costumes are adorable!

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  8. Love the pictures. I love mums too, and my Danny and I watched that documentary too, it was really good. We love those documentaries! My hubby kinda wishes he was a mountain man. He kind of is, with beekeeping, tending chickens, gardening and hunting. And your applesauce sounds yummy!

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  9. Your hair looks great! I know you're try to stay away from harmful chemicals in products- is the hair color all natural too? I'd love to know the product line!

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  10. Hi guys -- saw you on Oh Joy!'s blog today when she advertised products by Artifact Uprising. Love those photos, you're great models! :)
    http://ohjoy.blogs.com/my_weblog/2013/11/a-giveaway-full-of-memories.html

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  11. Those "Happy People" are a good example. Sometimes we act as if we can only thrive when conditions around us are perfect. Then we're reminded that our spirits are stronger than that.

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  12. And by the way I've never read one person telling them they have to adopt! Mara and Danny started this conversation and I can't see them ever not welcoming any questions. If they didn't want questions they wouldn't write a blog and especially not the things they write about.

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  13. Lots of you are not going to like my post but I've seen three cases of adoptions where the children have all kinds of problems emotionally. Two from other countries and one from the states. It's sad to say but these days people who give children up for adoption are usually women who did not take care of themselves while pregnant and the children have so many problems/issues. Drug moms, alcoholics, etc. Years ago, if an unwed mom got pregnant and gave the baby up for adoption, you were almost guaranteed of adopting a baby that was cared for. Not today unfortunately. People toss around the concept of adoption like it's so easy. It's not. The children have all kinds of problems. Let Mara and Danny figure out another way to become parents.

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    1. This is completely untrue. What an ignorant and irresponsible comment.

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    2. There is evidence to support comments made by Anon. http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/04/13/children.adoption.mental.health/

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  14. Loved the positivity in this post. Those kid costumes were so creative and adorable. And I too am now interested in trying the homemade natural scents. Thanks for sharing!
    I'll keep stopping back for new posts. Cheers!
    www.simplyfranee.blogspot.com
    Franee

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  15. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIs0OIbhgQM
    What a beautiful couple and a loving team-wishing you all the best wherever you are xxx

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  16. Mara Kofoed ‏@ABlogAboutLove 7h
    A late night tweet. We've been MIA on the blog. Again! But we have big things in the works.For starters-We are going to Ecuador for a month!
    Details

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  17. Great read!
    I love to see people happy and loving one another. Great example for those precious children.
    Thanks for sharing!

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  18. Why do people feel the NEED to be rude? Seriously, have you learned nothing from what they have shared on the blog. Sheesh. Sometimes people just need to take time to just be. Not a bad thing at all. Let them take the time and be happy when they return :)

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  19. I'm so glad those negative comments are no longer here. I am shocked at how some people behave especially when they are anonymous.

    Have a great trip Mara and Danny! It's my goal to visit there soon!

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  20. Hey people, Happy soon-to be-Thanksgiving. Mara & Danny are in Ecuador for a month. check out their twitter feed for updates.
    https://twitter.com/ABlogAboutLove

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  21. I don't get involve in negativity but this was a good read. I was into the homemade scents I am going to read the article you link to. As simple as it is I never thought about using water and cinnamon sticks.

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  22. I would love to know what Danny does for work (maybe you've mentioned this?), or where he works that they are giving him a month off of work :)?! Good for you two. At the very least, you will have some good posts to write about for the blog, ie: how we react to feeling neglected, negative verses positive feelings and feedback, etc. Have a wonderful time, safe travels. For what it's worth, you would have made great parents.

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  23. Love is god. Love can do anything in the world. One who wins in love loses his life,one who fails in live win the entire world.

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