18 September 2013

New Beginnings



This stunning short film called New Beginnings just took my breath away.  It's by the New York City Ballet and it took place at sunrise on the 57th floor of WTC4.

When I visited New York City for the very first time, my older brother worked at the World Trade Center.  I remember him telling me that if you ever get lost, just look for the Trade Centers.  He took me with him to work one morning, just because he said I had to see the rush of people in suits pouring into the buildings.  I had the best bagel and cream cheese of my life in the concourse underneath the towers. And I was amazed at his stories of the speed elevators that took him to the 100th+ floor of the Trade Tower in a very short time. He later bought an apartment in Brooklyn - across the water from the Trade Towers.  The apartment was on the top floor and came with an additional high loft surrounded by windows  He had a telescope in there that was so good you could see what kind of soda someone was drinking at their desk in the Towers.  My brother left Cantor Fitzgerald not too long before 9/11 and was out of harm's way.  But his name was still on record at the building and they called my parents to make sure my brother was alive. Cantor Fitzgerald lost over 2/3 of their employees that day.

I sure am grateful that life is full of so many new beginnings.  So many.  What have some of your new beginnings been? 

With Love,

Mara

(video via Swissmiss)

Here is a photo I took on 9/11 this year.  I was with some dear women on the rooftop of my church in Brooklyn.  I felt lucky to also see my former sister-in-law that day.  We were in New York together on 9.11.01.


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183 comments:

  1. beautiful film. i love how each and every day of our lives can be a new beginning--we can strive to be a little kinder, happier, more positive. we can't always change the situations or challenges we are given, but we can choose how we react to them!

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  2. New York City is a great reminder of how we can all be resilient and lead magically imperfect lives.

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  3. I noticed you said former sister-in-law. Are you and your ex's family still cordial/amicable? I am divorced and his family (and him) wants nothing to do with me even though I would very much like to be part of their lives even if it is just hearing how they are doing. They have cut me out entirely from his family even though I used to be so close to all of them. It breaks my heart every time I think of the nieces and nephews that I will never see again. It also makes it harder because while I am not Mormon and my ex is not Mormon, his entire family is and they are all very active. Yet, their display of hatred towards me tears me apart especially when they preach the "no judgment, love everyone" sentiment.

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    1. Nicole! I'm a reader and just saw your comment. How incredibly heartbreaking for you. I am divorced and am (very luckily) close to my former's family. I am so grateful for those relationships. I have a little suggestion for you that might help heal the breach--and if it doesn't, at least you had the satisfaction of reaching out to people you admire and love. Try sending them a little care package, or nice note, or something to let them know that you genuinely love them. I wouldn't expect anything in return, but instead try to find joy in the offering.
      I know that reaching out to others always helps me feel awesome.
      Best wishes to you!

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  4. wow watching her being carried across the roof, silhouetted against the brightening sky ... so so gorgeous and moving - and hopeful.

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  5. Mara, I was blessed with the most beautiful new beginning at the age of 40, a most welcome surprise pregnancy. I know the exact night I conceived, after watching Where Angels Fear to Tread. I didn't know the baby was going to die and I felt the pain so real, no other movie disturbed me like this. I truly believe God gave me this child as a special gift to help fill our broken hearts with love when 10 years later my older daughter died. Shayna was my new beginning because I created a whole different life that I cherished, even though I totally cherished my earlier life. And guess what - I'm doing it again! Love to you and Danny

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  6. That was the most beautiful clip - thank you for sharing!

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  7. I just looked at the clip and I think it is something I want to see at the start of each day as a special prayer, it is breathtaking. BTW, I wasn't aware there was a new 4WTC building. (and I do get into the city) I'll never forget that day not knowing if my husband and his two brothers made it. My husband was a couple of blocks away heading to a Windows on the World breakfast meeting, his little brother made it out of 4WTC in the nick of time (he worked at Custom and he still can't step foot in lower Manhattan)and older brother in the building with Ladder 4. My poor dear mother-in-law calling me every 10 minutes from Florida crying "my three sons" We were blessed, but not so for a few of our friends. Thank you for this post and I will sincerely try to watch this at least once a week!

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  8. Beautiful. Makes me want to wake up at sunrise!

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  9. You never blog anymore! It's gonna be hard to keep following your blog with your blog so inconsistent!

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  10. Beautiful Mara, how are you? Are you guys ok? I miss you guys!! I hope everything is well :)

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  11. This is wonderful! Thank you so much. I've watched it numerous times. Our bodies are so incredibly beautiful. I sent it to all my friends who love beauty, dance, and renewal. May you and Danny be blessed in your daily walk together. Sending you much love.

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  12. I hope all is well! I LOVE your blog. I found it about a year and a half ago, and it has helped me in so many ways. I appreciate your honesty. I love what beautiful people you and Danny are, on the inside, as well as the outside. By Sharing, you have made me not feel alone in my own challenges. It's silly, but i consider you a friend. I hope you are just having a dry spell...but, you are missed!

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  13. I hope you are doing okay. Thinking about you.

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  14. Where've you gone - I hope everything is ok!

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  15. Where are you? Is everything ok? Just worried. Come back soon please guys.

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  16. No post since 9/18? I thought I had accidentally unsubscribed. Goodness, I hope everything is okay! Sending love.

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  17. I hope everything's well with you guys! Come back soon!

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  18. I miss your blog posts!!!

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  19. Hope you guys are ok. Sending good thoughts your way!

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  20. You're starting to make me nervous, and it looks like I'm not alone. Hope all is well!!!

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  21. Hoping and praying that everything is ok with you.

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  22. I miss you Danny and Mara. Slightly worried but happy for you if you are getting some mental rest:) Love and good thoughts your way.

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  23. Sending you best wishes. I miss reading your blog but wish you a good break from it.

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  24. Danny & Mara,
    where are you guys? You've left us high and dry. And worried. Please send up a smoke signal. Hope all is well. Ingrid.

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  25. Hope all is well. We miss you around here.

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  26. Looks like I'm not alone- been feeling like I've been missing something from the blog world, but couldn't put my finger on it. Realized you guys haven't published in a little while. Hope all is well and life is happy :)

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  27. Thanks all who have asked if everything is okay. It is :). Sometimes there are many other things in life that need our attention more in the moment, and this has been one of those moments. Not because it's been particularly challenging, but simply because our time has been pulled in a lot of other directions for the last little bit.

    Thank you all for the concern and for the love. Hope to get back to you all soon.

    With Love,
    Danny and Mara

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  28. Phew! I was genuinely starting to worry! Glad you're Ok. :)

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  29. Thank goodness, kids! You gave us a scare.

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  30. Glad things are ok. Was worried something had happened and was just going to comment my concern.

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  31. Glad to read all is well, I was getting worried. Looking forward to a return of your posts. Your posts are so uplifting.

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  32. Good to hear. Take your time, and tend to what needs tending. We'll be here when you have some space again.

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  33. You've got to love yourself before you can find love. Scientology shows you how to love yourself and allows you to discover who you truly are. Chris and Kelly Watkins will give you all the info for free visit, http://www.KnowTheTruthAboutYou.com. You need answers, love, success, money, energy and happiness get it when you use Scientology today!

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  34. I miss you guys! Please blog soon

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  35. Glad all is well! Take care of yourself, and I look forward to seeing your new posts. In the meantime, I will refresh my memory on some of your older posts:) Hugs!

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  36. I'm all for taking a vacation, but there was no warning about the upcoming lack of blogging. Especially in this blog where y'all have written posts consistently, it's strange that all the sudden there's silence without a warning or explanation. It's especially strange given the content of your blog filled with posts about vulnerability and such.

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  37. I realize it might be frustrating to have something consistent in your life suddenly not be there. That said, I hope we can all remember that Danny and Mara have lives beyond this blog with responsibilities to families, work and church. They are both very generous with their time and talents to us in their online community as well as with their actual physical community. Given that Mara has indicated a new round of IVF is on the horizon, we know that is another time commitment they are dealing with. We don't know the whole story (nor should we as they are entitled to some privacy). Just send your prayers or positive thoughts their way and try to be patient. I'm sure they will be back when they can.

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    1. Agreed, but they have always let us know when they would be busy with other things and wouldn't be blogging for a bit, like when at a speaking engagement, conference, or vacation. They obviously don't have to give any details on why they've been silent,but it's strange they didn't just say they would be taking a little break to focus on other responsibilities for a while. They went silent and I was actually starting to worry about them. I love their blog and hope they are doing well.

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    2. Anon scroll up and you'll see a comment Danny has made

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  38. You haven't blogged in almost 2 weeks!!!
    What is going on?
    Are y'all OK???
    I miss your blog posts.
    Much ♥ to you both! :)

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  39. I'm imagining that something wonderful has happened. I hope I am right and that you're just too happy with life to sit down and blog about it. Love to you both!

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  40. Just wanted to add my own little bit of well wishes. Miss reading your posts and hope that all is well!

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  41. I just googled "what happened to mara kofoed." I am surprised how worried I am. I really hope all is well!

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  42. Yes, what's worriesome is that they basically dropped off the planet without any warning. There wasn't an we are taking a sabbatical guys... So it's just weird. This is a well known blog and its weird to have nothing from them. It's super weird and worriesome.

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  43. Just checking in here to say hi. Hope you guys are doing well. We miss you but understand if you need a break.

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  44. Just beautiful, thanks for sharing this ballet clip :)

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  45. I've been buzzing over on twitter with worry as well. You guys have always been so generous with your time and selves. I hope you would feel comfortable asking for help or support from your readers after you've given us so much. There are so many of us so invested in you, that we are prone to worry out heads off when we only vaguely know that something is out-of-the-ordinary. If you are in need of prayers, you've been prominent in mine!

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  46. I'm from the uk and have never commented on a blog before! I've been following your blog for a few months, I also always read the 'comments' It's reassuring that most of the readers feel the same as me! I hope everything's okay with you!

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  47. Thinking of you all, praying for you, hoping for you.

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  48. Looking forward to hearing from you again when you are able. xx

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  49. Dear Danny and Mara
    I am thinking and praying for you.
    Thank you for all your quality blogs.
    Take Care
    Shelley

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  50. OK, now I'm REALLY worried about y'all.
    My thoughts are running away w/ me and imagining the worst.
    LOTS of love & light & thoughts & prayers being sent y'alls way!
    ~Lisa

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  51. Hope everything is okay! Miss your posts!

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  52. Sending you both my warmest thoughts. Miss your posts! I'm glad you're taking care of yourselves. Keep us in the loop when you can.

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  53. Missing your wisdom and light.

    Sending you best wishes.

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  54. I've been surprised each time I check your blog how disappointed I am when I don't see an update. I know our relationship is quite one sided, but I really have enjoyed getting to know you, visit you and value your friendly advice. You have inspired so many and I think we have become dependent on the ray of sunshine your blog brings. I have been worried, sad, frustrated that our dialog has ended abruptly. I hope you are head over heels enjoying whatever is keeping you away, please just drop a quick line to let us know your ok, maybe a statement to let us know when you will be back and if you will be back. Wishing you all the best, my long lost friends!

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  55. It's very frustrating. I've never seen someone with a blog like this who writes almost daily just stop writing altogether, much less without a post describing that they will be "gone" for a time. It's very weird, worriesome, and kind of aggravating. If it weren't for the followers they wouldn't have a blog. So it seems kind of rude to the followers to do that. I understand everyone goes through things in life, but it doesn't take but 30 minutes to write a five sentence update. When you've been building followers for two years then just drop off the map altogether that's strange. I say this with love and respect for Mara and Danny. I am praying for whatever could be happening with them or going on. There's a lot of followers who are willing to help and send prayers for whatever may be going on.

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    1. Hmmm, they must not have gotten your payment this month and that's why they stopped. Oh wait, you didn't send one?? Maybe save your indignation and "aggravation" for services you pay for and are actually owed, instead of this blog, which Danny and Mara do, as a kindness, for no money, on the side of their regular real lives. Which, incidentally, they *would* have a blog without followers—while I'm sure they appreciate readers, we aren't necessary to the operation.

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    2. That's not true, they do profit from this blog. Not very much I'm sure, but see those ads at the top? And remember the sponsored posts? Also, the other reader is just confused like everyone else and not being mean about it, so maybe you shouldn't be mean either. This is a blog about LOVE :)

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  56. Give it time everyone.
    There's no rule that someone HAS To blog everyday.
    Just pray for them & don't be judgmental.
    Isn't that a huge theme of what their blog is about in the first place?

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    1. whoa! wouldn't it be so meta if Danny and Mara were intentionally doing this to test their followers and see if we were practicing detachment (from them) and inner happiness (on our own)? If so, it seems like many of us are failing ;-)

      Seriously, though, I hope they're okay.

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    2. Their blog is also about vulnerability and if they can only share when things are perfect in their lives then it doesn't seem like they are practicing what they preach.

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  57. Let's remind ourselves that this blog was a free service for readers. Mara and Danny do not owe us anything.

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  58. Just saw them on this live cast on Huffpo. It came out on 10/4/13.

    http://live.huffingtonpost.com/r/segment/third-metric-perfect-relationships-/524c2f5c78c90a6f0d00012e

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  59. LADIES,
    MARA IS NOT YOUR RELATIONSHIP GURU, AND TO HAVE HER WORK OUT WHAT IS WRONG IN YOUR MARRIAGES, FRIENDSHIPS, HAIR, OR POPLUM SKIRTS FIASCOS CERTAINLY AREN’T COMING FROM A CERTIFIED/QUALIFIED FAMILY AND MARRIAGE COUNSELOR. THEY’RE COMING FORM A CUTE GLUTEN-FREE BLOGGER. THAT’S ALL.

    I AM ALWAYS APPAULED THAT MARA AND DANNY COME ACROSS AS HAVING THE RIGHT CREDENTIALS TO LADEL OUT THIS TYPE OF ADVICE TO OTHERS IN NEED OR CONCERN. I MEAN THEY ARE DOING THIS FROM THE KINDNESS OF THEIR HEARTS, BUT NOT AN OFFICIAL STATEMENT ON THEIR BLOG STATING THAT THEY AREN’T QUALIFIED BY THE RIGHT SCHOOLING. THEY SIMPLY AREN’T TRAINED TO DIVVY UP SUCH ADVICE. SOUNDS LIKE A FINE LINE THAT YOU AS A READER AND THEM AS BLOGGERS NEED TO BETTER UNDERSTAND.

    I'M NOT TRYING TO FIND EXCUSES FOR OTHERS THAN TO JUST GIVE MARA A BREAK. I AM EMBARRASSED .FOR YOU ALL AND ALL OF YOUR HEARTFELT INQUIRIES AND “HOW SCARED YOU ARE FOR THEM”. STOP IT!

    DID YOU EVER STOP TO THINK THAT MAYBE THEY ARE GETTING SOMETHING WONDERFUL RIGHT NOW AND ARE TAKING TIME OFF TO BASK IN IT'S BEAUTY AND PERFECTION. MAYBE A BABY? MAYBE ADVICE FROM THEIR DOCS TO JUST SHUTT OFF. I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT GIVE THEM A BREAK AND STOP PUTTING THEM ON THE PRAYER ROLL OR ANYTHING LIKE IT.

    LIKE DANNY SAID A FEW LINES UP, “THEY’RE COOL” AND WILL BE BACK SHORTLY.

    IF ANYTHING, GO FIND ANOTHER BLOG OF ANOTHER SWEET MOMMY BLOGGER, I HAVE PLENTY THAT I TURNED TO AND AREN’T WEARING ROSE-COLORED GLASSES. NO OFFENSE, I STILL ENJOY IT, BUT KNOWING THESE GUYS CREDENTIALS AND ONLY EXPERIENCE IS BASED ON THEIR PAST DIVORCES? Hmmmm... MAKES ME WANT TO STAND BACK AND JUST READ A GOOD RELATIONSHIP BOOK AND READ UP ON THE LATEST FASHIONS IN VOGUE. SAME THING.

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  60. A little creepy, isn't it, reading over everyone's comments? But I guess that's what you both cultivated when you started a blog centered around counseling; a lot of your readers have turned into some of your patients. The "truth" you speak is based on a time of darkness and sickness in both your lives... so that's now what you're drawing to your blog.

    Good luck with that.

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  61. Sending my best thoughts. Love the blog, so I miss you two, but I understand life gets in the way. May we all be understanding during the time you are taking away from the blog as a thank-you for all you've given us the past couple years.

    All the best.

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    1. Why didn't life get in the way of them going live on Huffington Post a few days ago? They looked and sounded good, but wonder why Mara left half way through the interview? I'm not needing a post from them, I'm just so curious why they aren't blogging anymore. They have time to do interviews, so couldn't they just give us an idea? Just so curious!

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    2. I'm also very curious what's going on with them. The interview mentioned their blog. Strange that if someone came here from that interview, they'd see this post!

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    3. I think this is a calculated business decision/move. They are fully aware that their readers are missing them and that absence makes the heart grow fonder (within some limits). They also realize that it would only take a few minutes to post a blog with some type of explanation that would appease people. I think they are in the process of determining what they want to do with this blog: hire additional writers, charge for content, discontinue the blog and focus on their speaking engagements, etc. Like all of us, they want to make smart and profitable career moves.

      While I enjoy this blog, it has been repetitive lately (reposting old posts, reposting old love letters) and somewhat fluffy. I completely understand this. There is only so much heavy content you have to share with the world.

      Thoughts?

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    4. Agree I would guess they are trying to determine the future direction of the blog and that is what the break is about. Which would partially explain the lack of an update - it would probably be awkard to post that they're trying to figure out what to do with this blog before they can answer in the same post what they're going to do with it. They want to figure it out themselves first before having to answer to readers about their thought process/uncertainties/ideas, etc. Or maybe I'm totally wrong. But this has been my guess as well. Either way, I wish them well.

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  62. I was happy to see them on the video, and I am glad that they seem alright! Frankly, I don't think we can really speculate on what's going on with the blog. I hope Danny & Mara return --- it's clear that they are missed & lots of folks visit the blog! I look forward to more posts, but even if they don't return, I'm grateful for their contributions up to this point.

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  63. Danny/Mara, I love and miss you and can't wait for you to get back. I am praying for you and hope everything is alright. I understand that there is life outside this blog (as fantastic as the blog is :) ), and I say take your time.

    Take care of each other.
    Jumi

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  64. I think it's so inconsiderate that there hasn't been a word as to their absence. One may say they are under no obgliation to write but at the same time, all they preach about love, kindness, understanding, etc. It would hae taken all of three minutes to say they were taking a break. And to see them on Huffington Post all fine and happy.... well... that cinched it for me.

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    1. My thoughts exactly. I have read this post from time to time and I have to say although I am not a huge fan of blogging, what I fail to understand is what is so different in their lives. Many people suffer TRUE hardships, TRUE illness and true financial burdens. And many many people have had to deal with divorce, and the loss of a loved one. We wish you well.

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    2. Same for me. All they had to say was, "Hey, things are crazy (good/bad) right now and we need to take a break." The abrupt absence is just really rude. Especially since Mara has said it was her "dream" for the two of them to do this blog full time.

      Clearly sharing things isn't a problem for them, since they have published scads of their love letters (although I'm sure they were edited), etc. online. Weird. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Seems really disingenuous, esp. after the Huffpo interview.

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    3. Thank you for being honest & authentic! I think many are having the same thoughts. I appreciate your articulation.

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  65. Anon 4:15... "what I fail to understand is what is so different in their lives." What do you mean? Like, what is so different that they stopped blogging, or what is so different in their message than anyone else with an eastern-flavored virtue message?

    To all the other speculators... do you think Danny and Mara will actually respond to this comment stream or give any explanation for why they have been so intentionally abrupt and calculatedly mysterious? I don't think anyone would've gotten upset if they'd just said, "Hey we're taking a break.." for however long, or even forever. But it's the mystery of them just dropping the blog that's so curious. To me, it's more suspenseful than anything.

    And now that I feel unmoderated, I want to just keep talking haha. It's like someone started a party in their house and just suddenly left all the guests in their home wondering why.

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    1. "It's like someone started a party in their house and just suddenly left all the guests in their home wondering why." Hah! Exactly!

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  66. Haha I love the analogy re: leaving the guests at the party wondering why. Sounds like an Agatha Christie novel!

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  67. I keep coming back to read the comments. ha! this is great! while I love reading this blog, it is the internet, people. I use it as a source of inspiration and entertainment. No need to get bent out of shape!

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    1. Lol! Same here. This is the most entertaining this blog has ever been.

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  68. I don't think that they really care about their readers.

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  69. I'm sorry they abandoned the blog and the audience. I held off commenting for the past weeks - weeks! - in case something very bad had happened. But that video and Danny's rather unconcened response suggest otherwise.

    I hear, "it's free, they don't owe us anything," or "it's one-sided" and I actually disagree. A public blog created purposely to attract viewers is a collaboration between the writer(s) and the audience. If we don't read, a blogger cannot monetize their work, sell ads, make blogging and the events that flow from the blogging their job. The audience also creates a vibrant community surrounding the blog. The comments and back-and-forth on this blog are an excellent example. On this particular blog, readers' stories have occasionally been shared as daily posts. So, no, it's not one-sided: readers provide the audience for the message, the eyes for the advertisements, the community through which feedback and commentary are provided to the blogger and, in the case of reader-submitted posts, the very content of the blog. Those readers are also the ones whose bring in even more readers.

    It takes almost no time at all to, out of common courtesy, let those readers know that you will be stepping back or down or away for good; to thank them for being a part of your blog, sharing and spreading your message and coming back day after day to read and comment on your creation. It is profoundly disrespectful to ignore that community even while they patiently wait and wish you well and hope the best for you.

    Danny has already said that everything is okay, that their time now is, in fact, not even particularly challenging. Maybe he's just putting on a brave face, but I'll trust what he told us is true. And they made time to be on Huffpo. Yet the readers here, the place they got their start, the support that allowed them to sell ads, book engagements, hold on-line classes, etc. don't rate a few minutes to type a short update? No one wants to be intrusive. No one is asking for private information. A simple acknowledgment that we are here and that they will be back or not be back is so little to ask.

    I don't see anyone getting "bent out of shape" at all. I see concern, questions, speculation on a sudden change and a community simply dropped and left to wonder. To me, this recent behavior so strikingly contradicts every message I've ever read here that it has seriously, perhaps fatally, damaged the "About Love" brand for me, be it blog, facebook or twitter. I don't believe it is a calculated business move to make this community miss them. I honestly believe that the authors here would never indulge in that sort of manipulation. But this treatment of the community they actively sought - a community that responded, was loyal and helped them build their brand and spread their message - is such a disappointment that it calls into question the authenticity of the message that brought me here.

    Of course I wish them well. You don't stop wishing well for someone because they disappointed you once. In fact, I hope this behavior doesn't hurt their project going forward, though I fear they've alienated many readers, myself included.

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    1. Very well said! They always assured us that they really weren't "too good to be true", so now we'll see. Thank you.

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    2. I totally agree. Very well articulated, thank you.

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    3. Very well articulated. Couldn't agree more.

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    4. Perfectly put.

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    5. Well-stated. Agreed!

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    6. Also: Mara has been active on Pinterest in the last day. She is publicly on the Internet but can't take five minutes to post a status update post? For me, that only intensifies the feelings of frustration and disappointment.

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    7. Totally agree. On one hand I do have concern but on the other hand I'm disappointed in how they just abandoned this blog with no explanation. This behavior doesn't align with what they preach. If something was seriously wrong then at least one of them would still be able to post something about their absence or have a friend post. Very disappointed.

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    8. Man, I wish my readers were this engaged and dedicated to my blog! I do miss them too and think this was very well written and made a lot of good points, but I'm holding out that they aren't saying anything right now because - for whatever reason - they simply cannot. I'm sure there's a good explanation and so I would say, before getting angry and saying they've lost integrity and authenticity, just wait to hear why they dropped off the planet. If they come back and say something bogus, then get angry and stop following. But for now, I'm hoping something crazy amazing has happened to them that they just can't speak publicly about yet. Fingers crossed!

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    9. I could not agree more. Their message is no longer of value to me.

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  70. Does anyone else think it's weird that Mara left the Huff Post interview half way through and didn't return?

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    1. No. That falls squarely into the "none of my business" pile. It's between her and the HuffPo interviewer. If they were happy with her involvement that's all that matters. I assume she had another engagement or needed to be elsewhere. It did not detract from the message they were sending, nor does it relate to why they abandoned the blog. So, it didn't even ping my radar.

      My point exactly is that such an explanation of minutiae is not what's wanted or needed here on this blog. A general acknowledgment of and update for this community is all that anyone here was looking for - and that is a reasonable request from a loyal, interactive, community.

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    2. Ha, ha that's funny. I thought maybe Danny kicked her off b/c he thought she was talking too much and he wanted the spotlight! JK

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    3. Maybe she's pregnant and had a rush of morning sickness!

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  71. Maybe they got furloughed ;)

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  72. I find myself visiting this blog more than ever before LOL

    I am just so intrigued. Who knew an internet mystery could be so engaging?

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    1. ME TOO! I tried to explain to my sister all the drama that was happening with this blog... the sudden disappearance and how contradictory it was and how commenters went from calm to concerned to piqued...and she just thought I was being ridiculous. But it's so intriguing.

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  73. Rude. Blogging. Manners.

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  74. really nice post....thanks for sharing...i hope this post will surely liked by all couples and those who know the value of love...thanks once again,,keep it up!!!!



    http://www.corequotes.com

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  75. Just want to echo everyone else's words to say that I truly hope all is well and sending you nothing but love and light. I, like so many readers, truly think of you and Danny as friends and have grown to not only enjoy what you have to say, but care about you both. I hope that whatever is happening to cause you both to suddenly stop blogging with no warning or short update as to when you might return, is nothing but an overwhelmingly joyful, enlightening experience.

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  76. It's just kind of sad. They told us SO many times that they cared about us readers. Now I feel like they really don't care. No 5 minute post update=not caring about your readers. I have loved this blogs message and am hoping for a really great reason for their behavior so I can keep loving their blog and message. Wishing you two well!

    ReplyDelete
  77. Please feel free to disable the comments for your blog until you're ready to come back. And if it turns out that this particular blogging phase has run it's course and bigger, better things lay on your horizon, I wish you the very best and thank you for sharing so much of your hard earned wisdom with us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ditto!!! thank you!

      Delete
  78. I hope all is well with you guys. Let us know if you need anything!

    xo

    Kristin (I don't have a blog so will have to post this as an Anonymous...)

    ReplyDelete
  79. i just read these comments & can't get over some of them... Danny DID write a comment that they're taking a break and they're ok. If I were them, I would never come back considering the potential unhappy stalkers they have here. It's a great blog, but maybe you should take what you've learned from it and start living your own lives. Start your own blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, but I think people were upset because he didn't comment until a week and half after they abruptly stopped blogging and only commented because he saw all the comments from people. People were just hurt because they were worried about them b/c it's so unlike the people they've presented themselves to be to just walk away w/o any indication, leaving many people concerned.

      Delete
    2. Danny, Mara, is that you? Ha, ha!

      But seriously, they actively courted an audience and their content was extremely personal. They were vulnerable (to a point, I guess) with their readers and their readers, in turn, were vulnerable with them. It's not stalker behavior to wonder what the heck is going on.

      It's true that Danny did write a comment to "explain" their absence, but it was flip. The fact that he did it in the comments and not as a post was rude. (And notice that neither of them have commented since discovering so many people are concerned/upset and they have been active on other media sites. It's not 1998, there are certain expectations of internet/social media behavior.)

      They have been preaching a pretty strong lifestyle message which leave their readers with an expectation of behavior from them. People are upset/concerned/mad because their actions do not live up to what they have been advocating in their blog. Anon 10/10 9:33 summed it up perfectly.

      Anyway, it will be interesting to see if they ever start writing again.

      Delete
  80. I can imagine that sustaining a blog of this nature requires an enormous amount of energy and vulnerability and I see both sides of the argument -- I'm sure it's exhausting and overwhelming for the Koefeds sometimes (even though it's been a wonderful experience too), but readers have placed their trust and respect in these two and aren't wrong to expect the same in return with a simple explanation.

    I'm sure these comments are not deterring the Kofoeds from responding -- they've probably made themselves impervious to this blog for a determined period of time, probably for multiple reasons. The strain of a second IVF round is one of the first that comes to mind for me. They probably need to keep all the energy they can to themselves. While an explanation would have been preferred for some people, I think that writing a post of this nature would've incurred its own trail of comments similar to these.

    I know people felt let down, but it's important to keep level-headed, patient and detached in this situation. People are human and in the end, that's what is beautiful about humanity. I don't think it's wrong to "vent" on here either, as long as it's not overly rude. Danny and Mara are both understanding and forgiving and I know that they'd be sympathetic and nonplussed by the hurt remarks on this thread.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Its funny how most commenters went up in arms over Mara hiring a personal assistant and requested they post more infrequently than to hire another person to help with blog posts. Now that they're doing that, people are up in arms again :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's not what people are up in arms about. It's the abrupt departure without a quick post saying they wouldn't be blogging anymore.

      Delete
    2. Um yeah thats not the same thing. They didn't hire contributors and start writing less. They stopped writing completely without explanation. Disappeared. Oh except for a Huffpo interview where everything is hunky dorey.

      Delete
    3. Looks like the trolls have taken over. All good people incl. Danny and Mara run ;-)

      Delete
    4. The only troll like behavior I see is from the people posting things like, "Come on, guys! Leave them alone! You shouldn't expect anything from them! Get a life!"

      It is not unreasonable to expect something from them. THEY created the expectation. People are just getting more upset and doubting Danny and Mara's authenticity because they are behaving in a rude manner. If this was their personal, family blog, then yes, comments wondering where they were would be out of place. But this was their business and they are giving poor customer (yes, customer! Hello, ads! Sponsored posts!) service.

      At this point, I would love to see if they are going to come back from this. Are they going to find a way to blame (in the nicest way, of course) their readers for not being "loving" enough and allowing our expectations of another person affect them? Ha!

      The longer they don't respond, the more sinister their motivations and actions are going to be interpreted. That's why communication is the cornerstone of any and all good relationships.

      Delete
    5. I'm sorry but this comment is completely ridiculous. I can understand why some readers were worried / then maybe a little disappointed to see Mara & Danny drop off abruptly. But come on --- sinister motivations??? Really? All of this negativity is troll-like. I think people need to back off.

      Delete
  82. Bloggers who do this for a living are working hard every day to cultivate and build a brand. Danny and Mara were successfully doing just that. This is why people are upset. The brand experience is not living up to the brand promise. Simple as that. Danny and Mara are people who have every right to do/feel/think as they wish. But through this enterprise (and yes, it is an enterprise -- they charge for classes and serve up a ton of ads, and have expressed a desire to make this BOTH of their full time work) they have opened themselves up to praise ... and now, criticism. I have always read this blog with a healthy dose of skepticism. I do think it is fair for readers to question the blog's authenticity.

    ReplyDelete
  83. I cannot express how sad I am to see such negative posts about Mara and Danny. If we have learned ANYTHING from this blog it is to love one another with no conditions. How sad is it that all of you people who once turned to the writers of this blog to cheer you up are now bashing them for taking a break from their blog? Yes, I understand that you all wish they would have posted something about a break and you're mad that they chose to do an interview and haven't written anything here, but you cannot base your happiness on whether or not a blogger updates their blog. Mara states many times that you cannot find happiness in anything BUT YOURSELF. Please stop saying rude things to them in a comment, that isn't going to make them want to come back any sooner. When you place your happiness in the hands of others (especially a blogger whom you have never met), you are bound to be disappointed. So please just calm down and remember that it is always better to encourage, not criticize, others.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well said. yes to everything you've expressed here.

      Delete
    2. Yes, I agree, especially since Mara and Danny have been so warm and encouraging to all... M and D, I'm wishing you all the best!

      Kristin

      Delete
    3. I think many of the current critics are NOT people who have glibly swallowed Danny and Mara's gospel. For example, I don't think anyone loves anyone else without conditions. For every person in your life, there is something that person could do that would make you stop loving them. Think about it. And no one here is saying their life has been plunged into unhappiness (!) because Danny and Mara are behaving badly toward the community they solicited. We are all perfectly happy! In fact, many of us are enjoying this blog more than ever now that the (perhaps saccharinely) sweet image has been tempered by a bit of imperfect humanity. Nor are we being rude. We are stating truths... a necessary part of an honest dialogue.

      Delete
  84. They won't be posting here again. They have moved on to greener pastures and that's ok. Everyone has a different idea of what common courtesy is as their's is just a bit lower than what we expected.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree 100% with the post right above. Anon 10/15/13 8:01am. They have moved on. I don't think they "can" come back and make this right, not at this point. To those of you who are defending their behavior, the only point we were all trying to make in one form or another was that she should have said something as to her abrupt absence. Period.

      Delete
    2. And their true personalities come through, bottom line, it is a business, their business, and all their preaching was just that preaching to hear themselves. What I could never understand was why all the pictures, how does someone take that many pictures of themselves and constantly post it. That should have been a red flag of their true personalities. It is easy to hide behind a computer and preach to the world how to be happy and how they have moved on with their life. So they moved on after getting a divorce or after disappointments in life, welcome to the real world. Unfortunately there are people that have no choice and life goes on for them and they have to move on after more devastating events in their lives. It would have taken all of three minutes for a one liner saying thanks for all your support we are ending this blog, they would not have to have given a reason, but they decided to not say good bye or thank you and just move on. I wish you well, peace and happiness.

      Delete
    3. You do not know if they are ending the blog. Danny chimed in a couple weeks ago to say that other things are in the way right now. He was vague, and he may have a reason for that. I think people are completely overreacting.

      Delete
    4. Anon, 10/15, 9:14 am. I disagree. They can come back and make it right to me, and I am sure I am not alone here. I am disappointed that they have not given an update since Danny's comment (everyone seems to discount that he did leave a comment, albeit a vague one, earlier), but I believe they have their reasons. We don't know what is happening with them and I think it's wrong to get all negative about it. And Anon 10:20 am, are you serious about "all their preaching was just that preaching to hear themselves"? I find that really hard to accept. They put a ton of time and effort into the blog --- including the comments --- and even though they have ads and sponsored posts, I guarantee they were not making even close what his blog cost them time-wise. I think they wanted it to make money, but it's so obvious that it has been a labor of love. I am really disheartened by some of these comments.

      Delete
  85. I get sad every time I come here and see "New Beginnings" as the most recent post. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't get sad, but I do really miss their posts.

      Delete
  86. Danny or Mara, Would you please just come on here and let us know what is going? Please give us a better update then what Danny did above. Please just be fair to all us followers who love your blog and have supported you and support you still. Please make this right. I wish you nothing but the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I agree--please! : )

      Delete
  87. I think Danny and Mara adopted a baby boy and they're sleep deprived. I'm sure they'll be back before the baby goes to college. :)
    Chill out, people. Be glad they're not dead (HuffPost) be glad they haven't shut the site down. Be grateful for what they have given so freely.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I completely agree. I am the one who posted the interview link --- when I saw them I was just glad to see that they seemed okay (at least on camera). I did not think it would give ammo to the negative nancys & I regret posting it at all.

      Folks, we DO NOT know what is going on with them. I miss their posts too, but I think the criticism and negativity is unwarranted. Some of these comments are unbelievable.

      Delete
    2. Absolutely. I'm shocked by some of the comments. In the absence of info, readers should only be expressing gratitude and wishing Mara and Danny well. Nothing else is warranted. I'd like to think most feel the same way.

      Kristin

      Delete
  88. Maybe the post "New Beginnings" is just that, maybe they have their own new beginning in something and just cannot share it yet.

    No matter what, I am grateful that they have given so much of their time, attention and personal experiences to this blog to help better all of us. Take what we can from it. Many people are not willing to do that.

    No matter what you are doing, sitting here reading all this drama, taking a break, enjoying each other, on a holiday, won the lotto, I am hoping you are smiling and happy. Wait, we know you are :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love this comment.

      Delete
    2. Yes! I just want to say that I am not angry or mad--they have a big beautiful life beyond the walls of this blog, as do we all. Wishing you only the very best, Danny and Mara. Thank you for everything you've shared.

      Delete
  89. I thought the same thing! Maybe this "new beginnings" was a quiet, non- direct way if telling us they were moving on. And that's okay , but we would all really appreciate some more acknowledgment and just a little more closure. Best!

    ReplyDelete
  90. Even I feel compelled to leave a comment, which is saying a lot. I don't believe anybody is up in arms because you are taking a break from your blog. You have your reasons. We understand that. What rubs us the wrong way is the fact that you left so abruptly, without any communication as to why, which goes against everything your loyal readers have come to expect from you. The fact that many have expressed concern over your sudden departure and you've made only made a lackluster acknowledgement leaves many loyal readers feeling like you don't care about them, which is very detrimental to the success of a blog. You have your reasons for not blogging. But I feel you're digging your own grave by ignoring your readers questions. Even a post that says "We're taking a break but thinking of all of our wonderful readers! Thank you for your understanding!" would suffice. My two cents. I hope whatever is keeping you away is a positive light in your life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly! It's a classic case of assuming the worst when you don't get a response. (Example: several unreturned calls from my husband COULD mean his battery is dead, he left his phone in the car, OR he was in a terrible accident, etc.). The longer you don't get a response that is "normal", the more you think something bad has happened.

      D and M built up an audience of people who were/are wholeheartedly rooting for them. The longer they don't acknowledge the concerns of their audience, the more they/we start to wonder if they were who they represented on their blog.

      If something great is happening, there are tons of readers who want to celebrate that with you. If something tragic has happened, those same people would pray for you, send positive thoughts your way, and share their own stories with you.

      If running a blog is too much and they decided to go in another direction, then we want to wish you well! It's just basic human interaction.

      It's late. Hope this makes sense. It's been interesting reading all the comments.

      Delete
    2. Totally agree with you both. The people on here who keep saying, "It doesn't matter, we should just be grateful, we wish you all the best..." ... really? Our levels of spiritual transcendence should be so great that basic human courtesy doesn't matter? We should all be so wrapped up in our own bubble of love that we never hold others accountable for not behaving with love? That isn't reality. That isn't decency. No one here is saying their life is destroyed because of the actions of these bloggers. We're all just startled by such a disparity between actions and the image D & M created.

      Delete
    3. I agree completely with Anon 10/16/13 12:50pm. The last line written was very telling: We're all just startled by such a disparity between actions and the image D & M created.

      Delete
  91. Stop being rude, people!!

    ReplyDelete
  92. I'm assuming that the Mara that posted above me is not the Mara from the blog. I was a newer reader to this blog, and am just posting a comment because I've been so interested in reading all the others. Really, it's fun to check every day and see what is going on in the comments! Danny did say something along the lines of hoping to get back to everyone soon, so I'm just guessing that they probably will, at some point, with an explanation of what was going on. I agree it's very weird that it has been silent. Very strange. But maybe they're working out stuff like, how to make it time-efficient and financially successful since it does take so much time, maybe they're considering a new layout, more writers, a whole new start, who knows. Or, maybe they won't come back, and the New Beginnings video was done on purpose. Either way, it was fun to read some of the posts and I'm now using coconut oil as a makeup remover (and it works perfectly!)

    ReplyDelete
  93. Danny and Mara, The reality is that the words posted on this blog have changed my life. There is nothing that you say or do now or in the future that can change that fact. I thank you for that. I hope to continuing hearing from you in posts, but if not, I can only come away from this experience with gratitude for what you have shared and what I chose to apply. Thank you again. I wish you the very best in all your future endeavors.

    ReplyDelete
  94. Coconut oil as a sexual lubricant has changed my love life with my husband, too! I will always credit them gratefully for that one. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes indeed! Coconut oil has so many uses! : )

      Delete
  95. You guys, did you watch the Huff Post video? I don't know about anyone else, but I loved actually seeing Mara and Danny talk about the stuff on this blog. I don't think they're being ingenuine--I think perhaps they might be figuring out how to connect to us in a more interactive way... Near the end of the video, Danny said something about how people can misinterpret blogs/social media in the sense that they're not truly seeing the whole picture, which, for some, can distort their perceptions... Maybe they're trying to figure out how to connect to us in a more authentic way???

    Or maybe they are adopting, or Mara is pregnant! Regardless, just chill, people! I'm sure the answer will come eventually...

    ReplyDelete
  96. Honest question: if you were trying to connect with people "in a more interactive" or "authentic" way, how would it make any sense to begin that by refusing to connect or interact with them at all (even when they specifically ask you to) for a month? I'm truly asking how that would work.

    General question: I'm confused as to why something really great would cause them to stop all activity and communication. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I didn't want to tell people and it was also very hard, but I still stayed in touch, I just didn't talk about it with most people. When I was finally pregnant after 3 years of trying IVF and I wasn't ready to announce just yet, I didn't stop all communication until I was. I just kept on communicating and didn't mention it until I was ready about 4 months in to let people know.

    I'm honestly confused by the many responses that say, "Maybe something great happened and that's why they don't bother with this any more."

    No snark intended; honest questions. Until this thread I've never come upon the "something fabulous is happening and that's why we no longer hear from X" theory before. I find it counter intuitive, especially in a place that was all about reaching out, embracing bad things as opportunities and sharing joy and being kind to others all along the way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree that it was weird that they stopped posting out of the blue, but maybe the "new beginnings" post was the best way they could think of to say goodbye in the moment (granted, it's vague and a bit cryptic). But no one is perfect, even after lessons learned from experience. I just think we should give them the benefit of the doubt first before jumping to conclusions and making assumptions about their character or intentions.

      Delete
  97. Maybe Mara simply has writer's block? She poured her heart out almost every day for so long to the world through internet (and internet can be harsh, just as it can be beautiful - btw, why are almost all comments on this page anonymous?), it must be quite exhausting... I am guessing that she is wishing she could give us an explanation, but somehow she just can't do it yet...

    Anyway, I am one of the faithful readers who is suprised and a little disappointed by the abrupt interruption, but I prefer to give them the benefit of the doubt, not judge when I don't know what is truly going on, and just keep living my life... I am so grateful for all the inspiration this blog has provided! Simply going back to old posts still uplifts me and edifies me. What they shared and taught us about love is true, and it is not erased just by the fact they stopped blogging suddenly (no matter the reason). No one is perfect. I'd be happy to get some news on this blog, but in any case, best wishes and gratitude sent your way Mara and Danny!

    ReplyDelete
  98. Hi, D and M. Just want to say that I hope you are well and I miss you very much. Also, thanks for posting this beautiful video. I am a dancer, and this gave me inspiration on a day when I needed it very much. I've actually shared it around our studio and everyone loved it. I hope you are having a lovely, lovely autumn in NYC, the best city in the world!! Blessings.

    ReplyDelete
  99. My goodness peeps! Mara pours her heart out here day after day, serving up heaping doses of love, inspiration and most importantly, reflections on gratitude. I agree it's a bit unlike her to not check in, but I understand the need to give other things in life attention on occasion! This blog must be time-consuming and let's not forget, she has a lot on her plate. -Kelly

    ReplyDelete
  100. If you had to name the one thing that you learned on this blog that had the most impact on your life, what would it be?

    For me, it was the concept of balancing my energy instead of trying to balance my life.

    -Christine

    ReplyDelete
  101. What a positive use for this comment space, Christine. Thanks for your initiative. :-)

    For me, it would be the concept of choosing happiness. Previously, I allowed my trials to dictate my mood and my outlook on my life and the world. I allowed my circumstances, big and little, to stand between me and happiness. I came to this blog at a really dark time in my life; things got darker before they got lighter, but they did get lighter eventually. Just as Mara promised, once I was in the habit of choosing happiness, it became second nature.

    I will always be very thankful to Mara for sharing that wisdom.

    -Helen

    ReplyDelete
  102. The greatest thing I learned from this blog is not to look at other people and imagine they have better relationships than I do, or behave better than I do, etc etc etc based on what they say or the image they project. As we have learned here, no matter how loving, kind and authentic Danny and Mara appeared to be, they just left us hanging - kind, loving, authentic people wouldn't do that.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Thank you, Christine!

    The greatest thing I've learned from this blog is that we have to choose happiness for ourselves, and not depend on others to make us happy.

    I hope that this comment thread can continue to be more positive and reflect the message of this blog. LOVE.

    -Allison

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow some of you sound like you really drank the Kool-Aid. They DID leave everyone hanging. And good, decent, kind, authentic people don't do that. Sounds like Christine wants to run the blog herself. Asking what we've learned from this blog. So the thread would continue based on Christine's comments... rediculous.

      Delete
  104. Thank you, Christine -- what a lovely idea. I may have already believed this before reading this blog, but I love the idea that you should become a soulmate rather than try to find a soulmate.

    And I enjoy Mara's holiday gift guides as much as some of her writing on relationships! It would be wonderful if she is able to return with another this year.

    Kristin

    ReplyDelete
  105. What a lovely idea Christine :) What I learned from this blog is that you can definitely never judge a book by it's cover. Danny always came across as a genuine bloke. Mara... not so much... 100% because she isn't a bloke ... of course :)

    ReplyDelete
  106. Hallo Christine? Mara? Danny?
    The greatest thing I learned from this blog? The people you least expect if from will disappoint you.

    ReplyDelete
  107. What had the most impact from me on this blog was Mara just dropping us. Goes to show that what comes around goes around. Her first husband walked out on her and she walked out on us. Stings? For sure, but she has given us all the tools to get over it. There is that at least.

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    Replies
    1. What is wrong with you? This is completely juvenile.

      Delete
    2. Each to their own, baby.

      Delete
  108. that would be "...impact for me...."

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  109. The only thing that will condone this absence is a baby.

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  110. As with others a litle baffled over the sudden departure, but wanted to express my thanks to BOTH Danny and Mara for all their time and effort. Ive enjoyed reading these last few years and like with all things...there is a time and season. Perhaps the time and season has come to do something different. it hasnt diminished my appreciation for all their work into this blog and I wish them all the best!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I completely agree! I come back here everyday, hoping to hear a little bit more of their point of view, but I truly wish them the best in whatever life has given them.

      Delete
  111. I hope Danny & Mara know the majority of their readers understand and wish them the best. I think the few who don't, should give them the benefit of the doubt. We really don't know what's going on. The Huffpost thing could have been scheduled ahead of time and they were not able to get out of it. We know they had a failed ivf which is very emotional and going through another one which will hopefully have better results. I appreciate the daily break I had reading this every day. I also learned about self worth and not allowing my mood, feelings, etc... to get trashed by how someone else is feeling or what someone else is saying. Including, not being so upset over someone else not blogging. Looking forward to an update but if not, we will all be ok and appreciate everything the two of you have done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. We can't put ourselves in their shoes and know what's going on. I'm thankful for the blog posts they did write, I have enjoyed reading them. I hope all is well with them.

      Delete
  112. What I've never really understood how they could possibly sustain this open book policy on their life. At some point you must want your privacy. As someone that's gone through fertility treatments, I can't imagine putting it out there for a bunch of strangers to read about, unless maybe anonymously. When I did IVF, I didn't even tell close friends or family. The thought of having to tell everyone if it didn't work was unbearable. It would have made the disappointment of a failed cycle even more difficult because you have to watch everyone be disappointed for you. Fertility treatments are such a heartbreaking slog. At some point you just have to look after your own sanity.

    ReplyDelete

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