We Made It On Dr. Laura’s Radar :)

OK, Danny and I were kind of dying yesterday.

We found out that the famous Dr. Laura spoke about a post I wrote during her opening hour show / topic of the day.  Ummm….how on earth??  We couldn’t believe it.  But there she was trying to pronounce my name and quoting things I had written. After reading word for word my entire opening paragraph from my post called, “How Women Ruin Their Sex Lives”…she said approvingly that I had a “good attitude.” 🙂  Phew.

We recorded a little audio of the segment so you could listen…

[by the way, in case you’re curious, my name is pronounced Mar-uh (like a Mars) – Co-fed]

Haha, gotta love it.  She’s great.  And it made our day to find out we were somehow on her radar.  You can see my entire post she referenced here.

And, a few things I enjoyed and wanted to share with you:

Life Long Advice From 7 Centarians – What an experience it would be to live to 100. 🙂

Gluten-Free Girl has quit sugar.  so inspiring!

How to Talk to Your Daughter About Her Body – such good, good advice for every adult to read.

(thanks, Sarah!!)

-I am loving this blog:  And Then We Saved.  Anna has awesome ideas for how to save money.

Happy weekend to all of you!


P.S.  We have revived our Facebook page!  Yes!  It’s really coming along.  We have so enjoyed seeing some of you there.  Discussing things with you all really is the best.

*UPDATE*:  We know Dr. Laura is an extremely controversial figure and we don’t intend to discuss her controversial matters here.  We simply had a message which had the opportunity to reach way more people than it would have otherwise.  So that’s exciting.  It’s sort of like…if you had written something you thought was important and it was read to the country at different times by both President Obama and President Bush…my guess is, you’d still be happy on both accounts, regardless of your political views, as your message was able to be shared.

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  1. Michelle Bunt August 23, 2013 at 9:35 am - Reply

    That's so cool re Dr Laura!

    I love Anna's blog – particularly the debt free pledge on her site which I just love!

  2. Michelle Bunt August 23, 2013 at 9:43 am - Reply

    P.S. Here a couple of links that have come to my attention to the week that you might like:



    Highly recommend both! Do check them out if you get a chance! Thought I would share some link love with you since you're constantly providing me with great stuff to check out 🙂

    Happy Friday!

  3. Anonymous August 23, 2013 at 11:52 am - Reply

    Congrats! You are putting so much good into the world… I hope that many, many more of these opportunities arise. This world desperately needs more of what you are saying. Blessings be upon your head!

  4. Anonymous August 23, 2013 at 1:15 pm - Reply

    Dr. Laura is "great"? Seriously?

    Are you unfamiliar with her views on interracial marriage and homosexuality? She is a bigot. Just consult Wikipedia for a review of her various winning views…such as this "In the months before the premiere of her TV show, Schlessinger called homosexuality a "biological error", said that homosexuality was acceptable as long as it was not public, and said that homosexuals should not attempt to adopt children. She regularly compared gay parenting to pedophilia by reiterating her view that "a huge portion of the male homosexual populace is predatory on young boys." Also review the section on her repeated use on air of a racial epithet.

    And under marriage and family you will find this great nugget: "Schlessinger has vociferously proclaimed her disapproval of unwed couples "shacking up" and having children out of wedlock. But according to personal friend, Shelly Herman, "Laura lived with Lew for about nine years before she was married to him."

    "On August 10, 2010, Nita Hanson, a black woman married to a white man, called Schlessinger's show to ask for advice on dealing with racial comments made by acquaintances. During the call, Schlessinger used the word "nigger" eleven times."

    There is a lot more to be disgusted by. She is the gift that keeps on giving. You actually are excited about her approval of your views?

  5. Kim August 23, 2013 at 1:36 pm - Reply

    I love your blog but I really think giving Dr. Laura any kind of publicity is wrong. She made me feel like a terrible mother with all her talk of how women should never work when they have small children. Women have enough to feel guilty about without this woman trying to tell us how to live our lives. Please don't give this woman any more press on your blog.

  6. Kristin Rasmussen August 23, 2013 at 2:08 pm - Reply

    I'm glad to hear Dr. Laura maybe had something positive to quote by using some of your information, because otherwise I think she is one of the rudest human beings with no right to be called an expert to give advice on human relations…. She has a doctorate in physiology… And is so mean to her callers that I have no idea why anyone would call in and put themselves through her ugliness.

  7. tawnya August 23, 2013 at 2:46 pm - Reply

    Oh. I'm so sorry to hear this. I understand the surreal you must feel having yourself mentioned on a national platform, but I'm saddened it had to be this one, by someone who is so polar opposite from what you seem to stand for.

    However – I wanted to point this post I read this morning out to you. http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/ What a great read about men having control!

    • mara August 23, 2013 at 4:16 pm - Reply

      HI Tawnya – I wrote a little update on the post above.

      Also, I LOVE the article you shared. Thank you so much.

    • tawnya August 23, 2013 at 4:21 pm - Reply

      I do understand. I don't give her controversial points much thought, because I don't give her any thought! I try to bring happiness into my life, not hatred, as she seems to be dripping. However, I am hopeful that your happiness overshadowed her negativity and reached in ways you couldn't have, otherwise! Good coming out of evil, so to speak… 😉

      And you are welcome!

    • Delona M. August 24, 2013 at 1:58 am - Reply

      Thanks Tawnya for sharing that post. I hope it was for all of us. I also LOVE his post for today.
      As for all the negative comments coming to Mara, it appears that a lot of people have been hurt and offended by Dr. Laura. My advice to them is to allow Dr. Laura to be in the place she is in and recognize that we all grow in our ability to love and understand one another at different paces. Send her love and she may one day change her views and be thankful to those who were patient with her while she learned how to love. We all deserve that. It's the purpose of life.

    • danny August 24, 2013 at 2:01 am - Reply

      Delona…that is truly great wisdom, spoken in the simplest of ways. My hope is we would do that with all who are in our path.

    • tawnya August 26, 2013 at 12:56 pm - Reply

      While I completely agree with what you said (though she would have to be on my day to day radar to do that!), I think a more important point to make, here, is this is not about "liberal vs. conservative" nor is it lack of knowledge of her show and the way she presents herself. Not everyone who immerses themselves in something will walk away only seeing joy and light and that does not mean they are unhappy or not positive or lacking in some way.

      It IS possible to know about her, to have listened to her and to actively not like her nor her manner or wish that those hurting would find an alternative to help. It is also possible to actively not like her and also not bring hate into your own life. I don't care for her, but because of that dislike, I keep her so far off my radar, that it doesn't affect my life.

    • tawnya August 26, 2013 at 1:07 pm - Reply

      And now I'm wishing I hadn't said anything because, truly, she is so far out of my radar of daily life and this makes it sound like I ever think of her!

      So. To try again. Congrats on having your message recognized!

    • danny August 26, 2013 at 1:47 pm - Reply

      Great comments this morning Tawnya, I totally agree!

  8. Anonymous August 23, 2013 at 3:04 pm - Reply

    Is *any* publicity good publicity? Would Rush Limbaugh be celebrated, too? Would you and Danny also be "dying"?

    • Anonymous August 24, 2013 at 1:39 am - Reply

      I think I would be happy too if someone acknowledged (whether that be in a newspaper, tv or radio) one of my articles.


    • Anonymous September 1, 2013 at 11:50 pm - Reply

      Then you too think *any* publicity is good publicity.

  9. Sarah August 23, 2013 at 3:34 pm - Reply

    How wonderful that your post was able to reach a wider audience! I hope that some of her listeners (who apparently are used to mostly negativity) were inspired by your positive message.

    • H.M. August 23, 2013 at 4:23 pm - Reply

      Well said, Sarah. Sounds like Dr. Laura's quoting your blog was a glimmer of positivity from an otherwise negative, hateful person.

      I do think it's a little bizarre to be so pumped about a mention from someone whose other views go completely against a message of LOVE. It's not that she's politically controversial (as in the example you gave regarding Presidents Obama and Bush) so much as she's hateful. Regardless of my political beliefs, I would not be so excited to be mentioned by, say, Ahmad Harun or Ali Kushayb. It just seems to me that someone such as Dr. Laura stands in direct opposition to your message and beliefs, unless of course you have some beliefs (political, religious, etc.) that cannot be reconciled with your otherwise inclusive message of love and self-worth.

    • Anonymous August 24, 2013 at 3:18 am - Reply

      Dear H.M.,
      Please don't be snarky at Mara, who is a lovely and loving person. Do not imply that she is insincere, inconsistent, or shallow. Share her happiness. Truth is truth, and goodness is goodness. Let's be happy with and for Mara that her true and good message reached so many.

    • H.M. August 25, 2013 at 4:16 pm - Reply

      Dear Anonymous,
      You're very right. I didn't mean to be snarky, nor did I mean to throw ugliness at Mara (Mara, I am sorry) or imply she is anything other than lovely. My anger was toward Dr. Laura and just how venomous she seems to be. (In the process of writing that sentence, I see how what I wrote might seem venomous. Oy. It might be the old one finger out, three back rule…) Anyway, thank you for replying in a civil and thoughtful way. And thank you for helping me to check myself. Truly, thank you.

    • danny August 26, 2013 at 5:01 am - Reply

      H.M. – I really appreciate your follow up comment here. That says a lot about you. We're grateful to have you as a reader and regular commenter.

  10. Kaelyn August 23, 2013 at 4:18 pm - Reply

    Love that post you referenced about "how to talk to girls about their bodies." I have 3 girls and it was such a great read/reminder for me. I would love to see you write more about kids/divorce and step-parenting (what a huge topic)! I know you may not be able to give first hand experience regarding that but I am sure a ton of your readers could! Thanks!

  11. Amelia Murdock August 23, 2013 at 5:05 pm - Reply

    Whoa Mara, didn't realize how liberal/left leaning your following here was until I read all these hateful comments. I thought this blog was all about love? I was really excited for you until I read the comments! You Go Girl! Anyone who HATES Dr. Laura has never really listened to her show– she stands up for children's right everywhere and in my book that's the best thing you can do– even if you disagree with other minor issues. Congrats again!

    • Jeni Green October 26, 2013 at 1:04 pm - Reply

      Exactly right, Alelia! I listent to Dr. Laura on a regular basis and have read most of her books. She has made me a better mom and a better wife. She is an amazing advocate for children 🙂

  12. christine August 23, 2013 at 5:48 pm - Reply

    That's really cool, congratulations! All media figures are controversial when it comes to their personal opinions and beliefs, I suppose. Still that's quite an endorsement.

    My family has a funny Dr. Laura story. My sister-in-law was reading her book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, because she was curious why it was so controversial. She hid from her husband, because she didn't want him to know she was reading it. Well he found it, and read it, and liked it a lot. And never told his wife until…

    One morning she was listening to Dr. Laura's program, and heard her introducing her next caller, {insert my brother's first name} from {the city and state where they were living}. And then she recognized her husband's voice! She found him, hiding in the laundry room talking to Dr. Laura thanking her for the book because he felt that she had written a book that helped his wife see some of where he was coming from. He said the book didn't capture everything right, but there was a lot there that was right.

    We about died when they told us this story. They have a really strong marriage and are two examples I look to for how marriage should be done.

    • danny August 26, 2013 at 5:02 am - Reply

      Great story…laughed pretty hard at that one!

  13. Alysa Stewart August 23, 2013 at 6:10 pm - Reply

    So cool that she read your stuff on air! You really do write though-provoking things. Thanks.

  14. Unknown August 24, 2013 at 12:03 pm - Reply

    As soon as I read this post I knew there would be the usual outraged comments because of who Dr. Laura is. Oy, who's got the time? Congrats on a little national radio love.

  15. Anonymous August 24, 2013 at 1:07 pm - Reply

    Dear Danny and Mara
    I'm not sure how I found your blog but it is amazing and has helped me to see things and react in a more positive and healthy way.
    I am sorry for all the negative posts. Please don't let these discourage you. You have such a sweet spirit of hope and love. Please keep up the fantastic writing and message.
    PS: I am 55 and have been married happily for 33 years but I think it's been taken to a new level after reading your blog.
    Thank you Shell

  16. Dr Laura Schlessinger August 25, 2013 at 4:16 pm - Reply

    Interesting comments. The publicity about me being "homophobic" or "racist" is just silly. "Hateful"? Nonsense. I have been well used by activist groups to get attention and they manipulate facts to give fuel to their hateful fires. Obviously, it has worked to an extent. Those folks who care to take the time to listen for a few days or weeks can form their own decisions…rather than relying on those who gain position and power by attacking others. I am gratified to see that a number of comments have pointed that out. Everyone…have a giving life – one with purpose. Dr Laura Schlessinger

    • danny August 26, 2013 at 5:00 am - Reply

      Dr. Laura, thank you for responding.

      One thing I have long held true is that people rarely are rejecting a person or an idea, but they are rejecting their perception of that person or idea. This seems to play out with all things, whether it comes from religion, philosophy, your parents, a friend, a stranger, or a talk show radio host. Perception is often more powerful than truth.

      If someone perceives that you are those things, well then of course they reject you. But having listened to you on and off over the years, and having seen one of your books in particular help out a dear friend of mine ("Bad Childhood, Good Life"), I happen to agree with your statement…if someone actually bothered to listen to you for a week, they most likely would see that many of their perceptions weren't based in reality. They may still not like the way you say things, or may not respect the challenge of trying help someone move forward with a major roadblock in their life in under 5 minutes and the brevity and "to-the-point" delivery that that requires…but my guess is they'd no longer see you as hateful.

      In fact, they just might hear you tell a particularly distraught woman that you want her address so you can send her a craft you've made or a baby gift for a newborn, or they might listen as you help a woman see past the trauma of sexual abuse as a child and move toward a more full and loving relationship with their husband. They might even hear you counsel in kindness and love, and with respect, and gay man seeking help with how to deal with his family that has rejected him. I've heard all these things and more.

      Not everyone leaves satisfied from a chat with you, but so many more are better for your counsel.

      Thanks again for commenting, and for the wisdom of that last statement you made "Everyone…have a giving life – one with purpose."

  17. kim August 26, 2013 at 12:57 pm - Reply

    Woohoo! This is so great! Enjoyed this whole thread and congrats again you two for being so decorous all the way around. And Dr. Laura, call me – love you , girl.

  18. Jessica Webb August 26, 2013 at 10:11 pm - Reply

    Exciting!! I love Dr Laura! I owe the decision to raise my own children and not out source such a precious responsibility all to her. After listening for many years I know her to be good, wise, honest, and an amazing advocate for children. Thank you Dr. Laura for the life changing books, and innumerable hours of sharing your wisdom and advice. The world needs many more women like you in the public eye.

  19. Jenny (also) August 27, 2013 at 10:10 pm - Reply

    Jessica Webb,

    I'm a new reader here and am really enjoying reading and learning from what Mara and Danny have to say about life and love. What a huge bummer for me to read your statement about the "decision to raise my own children and not out source such a precious responsibility" in this place that I consider safe and sane. I raise my children, with the help of some pretty amazing care-givers and teachers. I work hard to support my two precious boys both emotionally and financially. Your words here hurt. I hate the "working mom" vs. "stay at home mom" debate. We all work super hard, we all want the very best for our kids and our families.

  20. Dr Laura Schlessinger August 28, 2013 at 2:13 pm - Reply

    Dear Jenny/Jessica: It is not fair to pull out the "hurt" your feelings card as an argument relevant to child care. Fact is that unless one is a terrible mother, it is a loss to the child to be in other than mother-care. If circumstances actually preclude you doing so – that is sad for you and your child because YOU ARE NOT REPLACEABLE in a child's heart. In 35 years of talking to people on radio I have never once had a caller "hurt" because of the relationship past/present with a babysitter, nanny, or day-care worker (unless, of course, there was abuse). I have often asked crowds of 5,000 women whether, if they died right now and could come back immediately, would they choose a daycare, nanny, babysitter or a warm mother. I have NEVER had anyone stand up to select other than a mother. It is in the child's best interest to have consistent, warm interaction with one caretaker – preferably mother -. That I agree does not fit into the current "trends" nor mind set of a lot of women since the feminist movement, but it is still true. Folks seem to understand that a bond with a doggie requires one to pet, feed, walk, train, cuddle and otherwise interact to build a bond that makes the dog feel happy and safe. Same with human children. Dr. Laura Schlessinger

  21. Jenny (also) August 28, 2013 at 7:49 pm - Reply

    Dr. Laura, I totally agree that I am not replaceable! My husband isn't either and I'm curious to why you use the word "mother" and not "parent" in your above comment.

    I'd also like to add that we LOVE the supportive communities we have built around my boys' (faith based) per-school, neighborhood elementary school, and after-school programs. It's a big world out there with lots of great people and sources of support. For us it's wonderful to be part of a busy and nurturing child-focused community as well as share lots of cozy, casual time with just our family of 4. I truly do feel like I have the best of both worlds and it works so well for us. We have no bigger joy than watching our boys grow, learn, love, and play.

    Other set ups work just as well for other families; I don't think there's one absolute best choice for everyone. When I was a newer, more vulnerable mom these strong opinions about daycare were much harder for me and I found them very polarizing. Now I am feel very confident in our decisions as I watch our boys thrive. But yea, it still does hurt to hear other folks be so certain that my choices are so wrong. Maybe it shouldn't.

    • Catfish August 29, 2013 at 1:01 am - Reply

      Jenny, thank you for sharing your perspective. I know so many mothers who just can't be good moms unless they are fulfilled through work as well as being mothers.

      I wish we lived in a world where all mothers could choose the best way to raise their children, but many moms have no choice at all – they must work in order to have health insurance or put food on the table. It does no good to create false dichotomies that make all mothers feel bad about what they are doing. Parenting is hard enough without judging others for how they do it.

  22. Dr Laura Schlessinger August 29, 2013 at 12:02 am - Reply

    Dear Jenny: Your quote: "I don't think there's one absolute best choice for everyone." It doesn't have anything to do with "everyone" meaning the adults. There is only the best choice for the child…and that hasn't changed since human beings walked on two legs (nor with chimps, etc.). Dads are extremely important…research shows that first three years of "mothering" are essential.

    • Cristi August 29, 2013 at 6:20 am - Reply

      Do you know why I love you Dr. Laura… not because I agree with everything you say but because you have the courage to voice your opinion- even if it is not popular by today's standards.

      I want to thank you for solidifying my decision to stay home despite my passion for my career as a mental health counselor. It was after reading "In praise of Stay at Home Moms" when I realized what I needed to do in my heart. It hasn't been an easy decision but one I haven't regretted. Thank you for giving me the courage.

  23. Michele August 29, 2013 at 12:57 am - Reply

    "I don't think there's one absolute best choice for everyone."

    I agree, but I'm going to redefine everyone as the family. Any child would like more time with a decent parent, but with that said, if both parents working pulls them out of poverty, gives them a decent chance at graduating high school, keeps their bellies full, then I think the trade off is completely reasonable and responsible choice.

    The gray area starts as people define their own definitions of "poverty" and "essentials". Then the trade off might not be as justified.

    With that said, I'm so glad that I get the option to bring my baby to work, but I couldn't, I hope I wouldn't have to justify my choice for working outside of the home.

  24. Emily August 29, 2013 at 1:10 am - Reply

    I wonder if this research that's spoken of is the actual, isolated effect of "mothering" or if, those mothers who are able to stay home with their children happen to usually be of a particular socio-economic status that results in various advantages throughout life.

  25. Maria August 29, 2013 at 1:37 am - Reply

    I currently work as a nanny. I used to feel it was best for mother to stay home w/ the children all the time when they were young. Now that I've had some experience working for families and being an integral part of their child care network I have really shifted my perspective.

    I've witnessed a healthy balance with parents and outside care while working with my families. I take a lot of pride in my work and love the children I work with. I feel the variety in interaction only makes their lives more full. I could also see how the mothers are more fulfilled in some cases by getting to pursue a career they have spent years building. It's been nice to see that it doesn't have to be either or but instead a reasonable balance of time with mother and time with a very invested and loving caregiver/s.

    It's also important to understand that culturally motherhood has drastically changed over the past 50+ years. Mothers were rarely the sole caregiver, isolated at home for hours on end, mostly alone to care for their children as well as cook and clean. People lived in villages and or communities that served as a collective parenting framework which greatly relieved the mother from full time care. The concept of full-time care is often a recipe for burnout, another modern day dysfunction that often makes life harder. Although not all stay at home moms face this problem.

    Being at home all day with your child may seem natural but maybe it's not. In many modern situations, (not all be any means), I consider it unsustainable and at times a recipe for abuse, burnout or simply a decrease in the joy of mothering. Moms need breaks from their children and children need breaks from their mothers- if that involves a nanny or other care, so be it. We no longer live in villages and so creating a modern day network to mimic some of the past practices relieves the mother if she wants that relief and is actually somewhat of a traditional idea updated for modern times.

    Having a nanny or outside childcare has negative connotations, often because the children are at a deficit when it comes to quality time with their parents. But that is not always the case and I think it's important to refrain from drawing rigid conclusions but rather find what works for each individual family and honor the many mothers out there who do have outside help and are enriching their children's life in the process as well as the ones who choose to stay home full time.

  26. Cristi August 29, 2013 at 5:21 am - Reply

    Great article Mara! My sister Bianca and I were just having a conversation about that very thing today!! You are inspiring women and I would be honored to have Dr. Laura read something I wrote like that so it can reach many more women. Way to go!!

  27. Anonymous August 29, 2013 at 5:30 am - Reply

    My children don't "need breaks from their mother." My one year old? I am his whole world, day in and day out. Do you know how much I hold him, hug him, squeeze him, and love on him every single day? During every diaper change, meal time, nap time, reading time- it is ME doing those things for him, and in my opinion that just can't be outsourced. There is no way that would be better for him. My three year old? Same thing. Every single sandwich I make for him, truck I get excited about with him, ball I throw to him, and even bum I wipe- those are all interactions that build our relationship and there is no way in the world it would be better for that to be done by someone else. Same with my older children. Every day, the mundane things we do are building our relationships and I am at the crossroads of their lives.
    I do realize that sometimes circumstances make it necessary for the mom to work outside the home, especially in this economy, but I don't understand how people argue that it's actually better and more balanced. If Moms need to escape daily to feel fulfilled, than I think they need to change what fulfills them. (Of course I'm not talking about never getting a break- I go out all the time and my husband watches the kids or we have a babysitter- I'm talking about leaving the kids every day in care of someone else). No one in the world can love my children like I love them and it impacts how I treat them and take care of them. I am far from being a perfect mom- I have whole days where I am an ornery beast and get frustrated easily with my children. But I am still there for them, even on those days.

    This is such a touchy subject and I realize it is hurtful to women who don't have the option to stay home, and I'm not condemning them. But that doesn't mean we should pretend that it's just as good or better for the children to not be raised by mom. Society is reflecting what is going on in the home. I think we should acknowledge and try for what is best and then when exceptions have to be made, do the best we can in each situation.

    Thank you for this beautiful blog, and I think it's awesome that Dr. Laura read one of your articles. I have always agreed with what she stands for. Reality can be harsh and she doesn't sugar coat it, but we need a little more of that in our world.

  28. Anonymous August 31, 2013 at 12:54 pm - Reply

    Well, I am happy for you Mara. It is amazing to me to see how much your blog has grown and how many followers you have now. It's pretty cool. Not everyone agrees on everything, but I think you have a great message. Although I don't listen to Dr. Laura's radio show, I have read her book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" twice. And I really liked it. And I consider myself to have a great marriage with my husband. I'm sure there are things I may not agree with Laura, but last I checked I don't always agree with my friends. It's the differences that make us special. How boring would it be if we all lived the exact same lives doing the exact same things.

  29. Anonymous September 1, 2013 at 11:58 pm - Reply

    Regarding your update, it is not about conservative vs. liberal i.e. your reference to Bush vs. Obama (and a talk show host is not the same as a president, obv.), it is about someone you referred to as "great" though she is, among other things, clearly a bigot. No comment said "how could you be excited about a shout-out from a conservative/Republican" – so your update did not address the issue.

  30. Anonymous September 2, 2013 at 3:35 am - Reply

    Just a reminder that Dr. Laura is not a parenting expert. She is one woman with very strong opinions (and they are just that – opinions) who happens to have a radio show that allows her to share these with a wide audience. Just because she believes something to be true, however strongly, does not make it so. My husband's mother is a professor and he tells me all the time how proud he was of her as a kid and to this day. Yes she worked but she was also a loving mother to her kids, both of whom turned out to be wonderful human beings. What matters is that children are given loving and sensitive caregiving from someone, and preferably, from a community of caregivers. What I find shameful is how prohibitively expensive and difficult to find this can be for working parents. As with most things in life, there are pros and cons to both staying at home and working. Women on both sides seem to be filled with anxiety about whether they are making the right decisions and this insecurity seems to fuel the intensity of these debates.

  31. Jamie September 2, 2013 at 5:48 am - Reply

    I have loved reading this thread. It's so interesting to hear opinions about a touchy subject.

    Perhaps Dr. Laura isn't a parenting expert, but I don't think it takes an expert to know that, if possible, it's best for a mother to stay home with her children.

    Ask any three year old who they'd like to be with all day, they'll tell you their mother.

    Luckily my dad made enough money that my mom could stay home. No, we weren't rich. We scraped by a lot of the time, and when all of us were in school, my mom would clean houses while we were gone. And although my mom and I didn't always have a great relationship (I wasn't a very nice teenager) it was so comforting for me to know that she'd be there when I came home from school. And that she'd wake me up in the morning, make my lunch, iron my shirts, or drive me to school if I missed the bus.

    I'm so glad I got to share these seemingly meaningless experiences with her and not a caretaker.

    I know not everybody has that situation. I have three kids and I've been lucky enough to find a part-time work-from-home job I can do during nap time and after bed time and I LOVE that I get to share the seemingly meaningless moments with my kids every day (like singing songs in the bath, diaper changes, endless cups of milk and sometimes nagging about chores to be done). It's far from easy, very, very far, but it's so fulfilling.

    My mom used to listen to Dr. Laura in the car with us and I wouldn't always pay attention, but it seems like she gives great advice and has helped many people. I've also read her book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and it's helped my marriage in a lot of ways. My husband even read a few pages and said "I don't know how she does it, but she know exactly what every man wants."

    I guess I'm just trying to say that having a stay-at-home mom influenced my life dramatically. I feel for all those women who would love to stay home but can't figure out a way to do it.

    And, lastly, kudos to all those working moms. I really can't imagine working all day and then coming home to make dinner, fold laundry, do homework, get kids in bed, clean house and then wake up to do it all over again. That's amazing!

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