16 August 2013

Behind the Scenes


To some of the dearest people in the world -

We hope your week has been going WELL!
We've been preoccupied on our end over here.

The last little while has been full of lots of research and phone calls regarding adoption, surrogacy, and foster care.  For a while we didn't feel like there was a clear path ahead and the process of all of these seemed so overwhelming and some near impossible.  It's been difficult to face...the feeling of not knowing what we should do next and also trying to salvage some time and energy and desire to make it all happen. Each option has different laws, timing requirements, location and money requirements, and each option requires the right combination of people and paperwork to make it all happen. But despite all of these unknowns looming, we've actually had more hope and clarity this week which has been a gift from God.  I actually feel like miracle happened in our lives this week to give us a burst of hope and to give us some peace and excitement about a possible scenario.  Isn't that amazing when that happens?  It's happened to me a few times in my life...where something occurred that just changed everything all at once in the most miraculous way. Well, that happened for us and it is still so fresh. People and experiences and prayers this week just came together for us.  The beauty of it all was amazing to take in.  We are so, so, so very grateful.

May I pass on a very solid reminder to you (cause I needed one, myself!) to be patient. Sometimes we need to be patient 100 times over.  And I know I have another 100 moments or more to go.  But there are lessons to be learned each step of the way.  And when you carry forward with good intentions...things will come together somehow.  Though I know too well now that often times the coming together part will look nothing like what you were hoping for.

We love you all,

Mara

P.S.  A few things I thought I'd share:

-The indiegogo campaign for Canary was partially filmed in our home.  We are friends with some of the people (and the dog) in the video.  :)   So fun.  And personally I can't wait to try the security device they've developed.


-I met the sweetest gardner on the block.  She is the kindest old woman and speaks Portuguese (I can't wait to introduce her to Danny so they can have a chat!)  Her entire garden is full of perennials that she has grown from a few seeds.  She is drying out a collection of seeds for me right now and says I should pick them up in a week...um...so sweet.  I love the idea of sharing plants.

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24 comments:

  1. Oh, good luck on your potentials!! I am so happy for you guys. Life is so funny. I feel like once you think you have it all figured out (what you want, when things will happen etc) something unforseen happens and everything goes out the window and a whole new life practically happens.

    My husband and I were knee deep in the process of adopting last May. We were contacted by a young, sweet girl who wanted to place her baby with us. She really had zero support, so we worked really, really close with her to help her arrange a lot of things. Even down to finding a doctor for her in another state. When she went into labor, we traveled to her and were there for the birth which was an awesome experience. We named him and were preparing to go home. About 24 hours after birth she changed her mind and decided to keep her baby. We were heartbroken, of course. I thought I would never heal from that pain. BUT, time has passed and things have changed and we are so happy where were are now, together. For us, that missed opportunity to parent turned into an amazing opportunity to nurture our marriage, which needed it! We may again try adoption, but for now we are happy just the two of us. It's funny, I never thought I would feel this way, but the whole experience has really helped me realize that it is so important to be grateful for every state of circumstances you end up in. There can be good found anywhere, if you look for it.

    I wish you two the best of luck on your adventures! I know things will turn out just the way they are supposed to. They always do. That patience thing is SO SO hard! I used to go window shopping a lot to try and distract myself, which usually turned into real shopping :)

    Lots of love to your two! Have a great weekend.

    Katie K

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    1. Hi Katie, your message of hope really helped me this morning. I have had several miscarriages and have partly looked into adoption but as time goes on I am finding more acceptance in my family of two. I am finding such extreme gratitude in being with me partner whom I love very much and the gratitude I feel for the great relationship we have together. My fears are often based in the future "what will it be like to not have children when we are older and if I lose my partner". Just for today though all is well, even better than well. Thanks for posting Debs x

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    2. Debs, I have had those exact fears! Like "who will take care of us? What if something happens to my husband." It's funny though, lately I just haven't worried much about those things. But, I am sure you feel this way too, I definitely have moments of peace with our family situation and then moments where all I want is a little one to tuck into bed. Thanks so much for writing. That was such a sweet comment and made my night! Have a great weekend! Katie

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  2. Ah, Mara. I so needed this reminder this morning. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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  3. I love sunflowers! They are definitely the flower of August. Sunflowers grow wild all over the place in the town where I live.

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  4. We were told not to have another after some scary stuff after my son was born. After deep spiritual experiences, we felt VERY strongly not to pursue surrogacy or adoption. It was tough to swallow, but felt our family stopped with our son. As he's gotten older, and naturally wonders why he's an only in the lovely church of ours with very few family of onlies, it's been a comfort. There are still moments of hurt and wonder, but it's nice to have the answer there.

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  5. Good luck with all these current events! Sending lots of positivity and support your way! Lou xx

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  6. It sounds like you have some exciting options in the works for your family. I hope all goes well and will be sending good thoughts your way!

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  7. Those miracle moments are the sweetest. And you are SO right - more often than not, they come together in very unexpected ways:) Wishing you positivity and sending prayers your way as you and Danny navigate the future of your family!

    Love the plants:) That sweet woman could be my neighbor any day:)

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  8. Mara! So glad to hear this good news about your resurgence of hope. Patience really is the key. Thinking of you guys and wishing you well!

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  9. Ok, you must read "Outrageous Openness" by Tosha Silver. I promise you won't be disappointed and this book will make the patience and waiting part so much more inspired! I can not recommend it highly enough. I've read lots of spiritual books but this one takes the cake:). So excited to see the perfect path unfold for your family- it's going to be a beautiful thing!

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  10. "Don't move the way fear makes you move. Move the way love makes you move. Move the way joy makes you move."
    ~Osho

    Don't let fear stop you from adoption. Or anything. Adoption is amazing. And the amazing stories that have come are out of this world.

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  11. This was exactly what I needed this morning/afternoon! Thank you so much for all you do in sharing your experiences here! I hope you have a marvelously fantastic weekend!

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  12. Hello, I've been reading you for quite some time and think that if you truly do read all your comments (which I have no doubt that you do), that you should at least acknowledge them. I understand that you are busy, but it seems that the blog is a big part of your lives and as such, you should at least respond to each comment, especially since there are two of you. I have commented on blogs that have hundreds of thousands of followers and I think it's so nice that many times I get a personal response back, as do all the other commenters. I hope you'll consider acknowledging your readership and responding to each comment versus picking and choosing which ones you feel like giving attention to. Yours is one of my favorite blogs and I'm merely giving a suggestion, as I do feel you can do more to recognize and appreciate your vast readership.

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    1. Thanks for the suggestion Anon, we certainly do try, and sometimes we are better at it than at other times. A few points you may not be aware of...some of those bloggers that have hundreds of thousands of followers also have a staff...sometimes of many people. We don't. Also, because of the nature of the blog and the content, many of the comments are pretty in depth and require in depth, drawn out replies that we don't always have the time to do.

      I do have a full time job, and Mara treats this blog as her full time job. We are also both very involved with our church and community, and to be honest don't always have the time to respond to or acknowledge each comment. The trade off for responding to each comment would be less posts...often times though we'd love to go through each one and offer recognition or support, doing so would make it impossible to create content inspired by those comments.

      Not to mention the loads of emails we get each week. You have to understand that people often aren't just saying "thank you" or "love your outfit"...they are asking for serious advice and sharing their life story. My personal time goes to responding to those emails first, and then if I have left over I'll comment on the blog. Same goes for Mara.

      I can't emphasize enough how influential the comments are on the kind of content we create in the posts. So though it may not seem like we are responding to everyone, we are trying to do so in content that ALL can see, not just the small percentage that actually look through comments or return to read them. I'm not trying to discourage comments at all, in fact I would encourage them. We use every bit that we hear to think about what we can and should share to broad audience.

      We do read every comment, and we delight over them as well, we think we have some of the best readers and most thoughtful commenters around! (Which is why we decided instead of pandering for comments and engagement with giveaways we'd rather just send thank you gifts weekly).

      It just isn't possible to reply to each comment and still maintain a life. I hope you can understand that and that it doesn't affect your satisfaction of participating here on this blog. We truly do love having you and all others adding their voice.

      Best,
      Danny

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    2. Hi Danny, I really appreciate that you took the time to respond to my comment and for providing the context.

      Warmly,
      A Very Loyal Reader

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  13. I am expecting for the first time after years of struggle with infertility. You Know what I would like? I would like to be expecting triple twins and just offer you to adopt one of them. I even said this to my husband and he said it would be wonderful! Not that we don't love whoever is/are in here (we don't know yet), but we find you such a deserving couple and you have given us so much these last years... We wish we could give you this!

    Besides, we truly believe that children aren't really our "own", they are here on a spiritual mission and we are just the way for them to arrive in this little blue planet. It would be an honour to help your child be with you!

    You are going to be such great parents that I truly wish I am...

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  14. Wow its nice collection i never seen before that we called as Love is everything. Its great collection of stuff. I appreciate your work. I personally like your Home flower images its Nice. Thank you so much for such collection. :)

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  15. Prayers your way! Excited for your journey!

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  16. Oh Mara & Danny. You are both angels on earth. I have such deep admiration for your love and strength. I feel that hope carries us through everything. That and love. You have both. I know your story is just beginning and you will have many more twists and turns along the way.

    Patience is key to that. I really, really need to heed your advice. This is one of my biggest struggles. I want everything soon and can't see that things are moving, even when they are, but just not at the pace I expect.

    I feel blessed to follow along with you on this crazy ride of life. Thank you for sharing of your hearts. I wish you all the best because I know the best is yet to come!

    Hugs,

    Carmen

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  17. Hello Mara and Dan,

    I happy to read about your miracle moment. I really appreciate your comment about being patient 100 times over. Although I am not struggling with fertility, I have been experiencing difficulties balancing things as a wife and am praying for a miracle moment of my own. It hasn't come yet but it is an encouragement to see others being so patient.

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  18. Mara and Danny,

    Have you ever heard of embryo adoption? You may want to consider it, as it doesn't require the hormones, drugs, expense, etc. but is a full adoption with an embryo (or several). We might consider it with a lot of prayer and thought. Here is some info that might help: http://www.nightlight.org/snowflake-embryo-adoption/

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  19. I love that lady's cement bunny on the stairs. If I walked by that, it would make my day. Sending lots of love and luck your way -- the right doors will open for you for sure.

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