Many years ago, when I first began to heal emotionally/spiritually, I was seeing a fertility acupuncturist in Manhattan. Little did I know that my time with her would change my life for good. (Sometimes I still can’t believe it happened…I remember so clearly the days when it seemed it might be impossible to truly ever have any inner peace.)
I remember our first session together. I was laying on the table and during the acupuncture, she had me listen to this meditation CD called, “Help for Fertility” by Belleruth Naperstak. I had never listened to anything like this before. It’s basically just words to music…but it just spoke to my soul. I laid on that table and just wept.
Today I feel honored to share with you a portion of those beautiful words that were so very transformative to me then, and have been a part of the script in my head ever since as I’ve thought about being a mother. I know these lines so well now – – they even feel sacred to me. I think any hopeful mother or mother would love this…
“Affirm your intention to support and care for this body of yours. And know that in the deepest part of you that you have the heart, the mind, the strength, and the love to care for a new young life. Everything you need is right here. And so you can gently invite this new soul to come into your life…by whatever route it chooses to take – in it’s own right time. And you may feel certain that you know what that will look like…or maybe not. But for right now, for just this moment, you can let yourself surrender into just being, knowing in the deepest, truest part of you that this will unfold exactly as it should. And remember that this body of yours will be your ally – your oldest friend and your steadiest companion – sometimes wiser and more attuned to your life’s path than even your own mind can know or say.”
“And you might have a sense of other hands – resting gently on top of your own – of smiling ancestors and special guardians offering encouragement, sending a greeting and a blessing, bringing in for you all the love and sweetness that has ever been sent your way – from any time or place in your life. Every prayer and good wish. Every loving smile and comforting gesture. “
“And whether (the process of a life developing) is happening inside your own body – or some place else- you know that this new being is the one that was meant to be placed in your keeping to be loved and taught and guided by you. And you can sense the presence of smiling ancestors watching over this new, evolving life – wherever it grows. Crooning soft lullabies in low loving voices, tenderly offering gifts and visions and guidance, promises and blessings…because they see the child who will pick up their banner and carry the best of what they stood for into the world. And so they stay close. Smiling and nodding. Whispering this child’s name.
And you know that this new life will know the feel of your lap. The tambour of your voice. The rhythm of your breathing like no other. This child will respond to your touch, your smile, your scent, your mood, and your love like no other…just as you will thrive on the love that opens up and blossoms inside of you like no other.”
“And suddenly you are certain. You know with your whole heart – your whole being – that this child is a gift. A gift like no other. A precious link in the great human chain. Necessary and perfect. And with your guidance, will leave the world a better place for having been in it. Understand that you can let go of striving and worrying and just allow this to happen. In it’s own way. In it’s own time. As you continue to live your life fully and completely – surrounded by those who love and support you – visible and invisible; loving your body; embracing your life; and taking gentle good care of yourself. Because you know that you can trust this journey…that you are already blessed with everything you need to fulfill your promise.”
I’d love to hear what you think. Also, do you meditate? Do you meditate silently, to music, or a guided meditation? My meditation normally comes in the form of a prayer, but I would actually love to learn more and more about what other people do. For awhile I’ve been dreaming of going to India to visit a Vipassana Meditation Center. They have 10-day meditation courses where they teach you, feed you, house you, and immerse you in meditation – and they’re even free of charge! Have you ever done something like this? Would you? (I say let’s go!)
(The beautiful photos are of my oldest New York friend, Abby. I’ve known her longer than anyone and we’ve been through so much together. And, I just can’t help but mention that her instagram feed is a work of art – she’s one of the most talented people I know.)