So for this last and final phase, the pharmacy delivered to my door 82 syringes. Yes. 82!!!!!! You guys, I really couldn’t believe it. In that moment, I honestly thought – “What in the heck am I doing? Should I really be doing this?”
Well – it’s a conflicting feeling, for sure. I am not a fan (at all) of adding drugs to my body. But somehow when we first started all of this, I just felt like, “OK, it’s time. Let’s try this.” After 3 years of trying for a baby with Danny (and 9 years total), IVF finally felt like the best option.
I know adoption is such a blessing to so many families. And maybe it will be for us one day. We definitely have had it on our minds. But for now, it has just felt easier or more comfortable pursuing an IVF first. I guess I just already had some knowledge about how IVF works…since I’ve been seeing doctors for years. Also, I have already invested so much financially and physically down this road, that in a way – it would just feel strange to walk away from it all without trying the one last thing we haven’t tried yet (IVF).
It’s like we’ve been climbing a mountain called “pregnancy and birth”, and we’re almost to the top to see if there is anything there for us. This climb has involved quite a bit, and every step has brought us just a little bit closer. We’ve tried acupuncture, herbal remedies and supplements, dietary changes (gluten-free and dairy-free), temperature charting, Clomid, IUI, body talk, energy testing, more doctors than you can imagine (and more money than I care to remember)…and now we’re here. It’s like being at the last base camp before climbing the summit. We’ve got a doctor/guide we really trust, and we’re making the final climb with IVF.
Who knows, we may get to the top and find there’s nothing there except the beautiful view we’ve been enjoying for some time now. At which time we can begin the descent and figure out what it will take to climb the next mountain…which for us would be pursuing adoption. If that is what lies before us, well than we’ll do our best to gear up for the next journey. We will plan to take a deep breath and embrace the expenses, unknowns, and learning curves of that process (which we don’t yet know much about.) For now, we’re just trying to do one climb at a time.
How about for you? How do you feel about IVF vs. Adoption? I know there are many opinions on the matter and I’d love to hear what you think…or what your personal journey was in deciding which path to take. Thanks, as always, for the amazing engagement and community you guys all have formed here on the blog. It’s truly incredible and helpful to so many people.
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Babble Voices & The Equals Record