Hello dear readers!
So many ask us for the updates on our baby plans. It’s always fun to share. It’s a really exciting time for us to have all this progress. (Danny has just been GIDDY, you guys. It really is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.) So – I just found out that on my next cycle we’ll be able to finish up our IVF process. What?!? This is crazy!! It is REALLY coming up! 🙂 Luckily most of my surprising thoughts I’d been having awhile back about not feeling desperate for a baby are not causing me any heartache at the moment. I’ve still been feeling really excited. This sounds really weird, I know, but the other day when I was making that roasted chicken and holding it to rinse it (again, first time I’d ever held a chicken before ) – um, well, it felt like a baby. I swear, the weight and floppiness of it felt like a newborn baby. hahha. Danny said the same thing, too. And for that little moment, we were just full of curiosity about what it would really be like to have a baby in this home. Goodness, it will be a life changer. I can hardly imagine it. Though this DARLING short video of a day in the life of a two year-old gives me a sweet hint.
Also, I hope it doesn’t make you uncomfortable to hear about our journey. I know it’s not the normal topic of conversation for many. Most people go through infertility in silence. I think they may do it to keep their pain or any potential pain private. But for me – way back when – I found that the route of silence actually produced MORE pain: More loneliness. More shame. More self-pity. More hiding (exhausting!) More diminishing of your own your own voice. More feelings that your very own wonderful & beautiful life is taboo to talk about. More awkward moments. More disconnection with friends, loved ones, and society in general (so sad!) I’ve been open about infertility for years and honestly, I can’t recommend it enough. I could go on and on about why it’s a healthy, healing, and empowering thing to be able to own your experiences – and share them with others.
How do you feel about sharing your own infertility experiences or hearing about them from others? Do you prefer to not share? Or have you shared & then felt better or worse? I’d love to hear all thoughts & opinions! I think it’s such an important topic for women.
Also – for any woman out there facing this journey, too – here are a few technical details that might be helpful regarding my surgery and autoimmune issues:
My little surgery was successful. It turns out I did indeed have endometriosis. I’m so, so thankful that Dr. Braverman suspected it and knew what signs to look for (never once have I felt like he’s just guessing or throwing a dart. He really, really is SO thorough and the best I’ve seen for unexplained infertility. And holy crap – I’ve seen so many of the so called best infertility doctors in New York – I can’t even count them all.)
I can’t stress this enough:
If you feel like your doctor is just guessing – especially while recommending expensive procedures – I would keep looking for a new doctor.
Try to find a doctor that works almost exclusively with patients with unexplained miscarriage or unexplained infertility. I know there aren’t many of them, but they’re worth seeking out. (FYI, my doctor works with patients from all over the world via phone.)
Here we are heading into the hospital before sunrise. I feel very lucky but I didn’t have any pain at all during or after the surgery. So I can’t give you a ton of tips. But here are a few:
1. Leave your jewelry (and wedding ring) at home. They’ll ask you to take it off during the surgery. I forgot to take it off so luckily Danny could hold it for me. But they’re better left at home (take that from a girl who has lost TWO wedding rings! yep.)
2. Bring some water for after the surgery! My mouth needed it so badly due to tubes and water restrictions. Also, you’ll want to drink tons of water anyway to get all that medication out of your body.
3. Wear super loose clothing. Your tummy will be a little round due to the gas they put inside your belly. I wore Danny’s jeans for the week following. Luckily he retired that pair so I’ve just adopted them completely at this point. 🙂
4. Plan on a nice long nap afterwards (the drugs make you sleepy).
5. Clean your home and launder your linens beforehand. It’s so nice to come home to a clean home.
And know that you can do it! 🙂
Now that the surgery is done, my doctor will be checking on some autoimmune markers I have (cytokines). These can also be related to endometriosis. Sometimes the endo surgery can reduce those, but sometimes not. If needed, he’ll give me some medications to reduce those as they do affect fertility. I’m afraid most doctors do not check for these and many people have ongoing infertility or failed procedures because of it.
In the meantime, we find ourselves looking at each other every once in awhile like, “What on earth?!? Is it possible that this is all going to happen soon??” We’re super excited to see how the rest of this unfolds.
P.S. Dr. Braverman believes there is a link between probiotics and infertility. See his article here.