10 October 2012
Our Infertility Date Night
Today Danny and I met up with our infertility doctor.
He specializes in working with couples who have been told they have "unexplained infertility" or miscarriages.
This man does not believe in unexplained infertility and sure enough, after some very extensive testing that most doctors never do - he says he knows why I have not been getting pregnant. I have a very clear indicator showing a severely overactive immune system and he knows exactly what to do for it. Amazing. I feel like I'm in very good hands. I'm so glad we did not go forward with IVF before doing this additional testing.
SO - things are moving along! :)
But, what I really want to share with you is that our infertility appointments actually feel like date nights. haha :)
Want to hear how on earth that could be the case?
-Danny thanks me for joining him. And I thank him.
-Danny actually wants to have a baby with me. This part still delights me to no end. I do not take this for granted.
-We are both at peace no matter what happens. We know it won't be the end of the world if things don't turn out perfectly. We've been to the "end of the world" and it actually isn't as scary as we thought.
-We join each other for a little dinner after our appointment.
Sheesh, I know many of you might think we're a bit nuts. But I think sometimes people just culturally & socially think that the normal behavior is to react to infertility with pain, tears, depression, agony, etc. And, no one would dare suggest that you aren't justified in feeling that way. So, if I may - with all the tenderness and compassion in the world - suggest that feeling the intense pain of infertility is actually optional (Update: some readers commented below on a very reasonable objection to this statement - please see the comment section and our response to avoid misunderstanding such a sensitive subject) . It is a choice. And I know firsthand that there is a better way. I only, only put this out there because it's not a chosen path that you hear about often. And yet it's a path that improves and strengthens marriages. It changes men and women for the better BEFORE they have children. It helps men and women to be better parents - and to one day be able to teach their own children how to face their own trials. I can't help but encourage each of you to see infertility as an opportunity to live in a higher way. It's one of the best opportunities I know of. And because of that, I can say that it has been one of the greatest blessings of my entire life.
I've written about this much more in these posts - and shared some more insights about how I've arrived at this place of peace:
To Birth a Soul
I'm Working on a PhD
Mother's Day for an Infertile Woman
Romance and Clomid
Babies & Families & Mothers/Fathers Make Me Happy
Baby Making Adventures
Sending you lots of love & hope,
P.S. We are speaking in Washington D.C. soon at a singles event and a few asked if they could attend. We found out that this event won't be open to the public due to space constraints. But, my goodness, thank you so much for showing interest in attending. You've made us think some more about hosting some get togethers. We'll try to pull that off and we'll keep you posted!
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