Do you write in a journal?
I was given a journal during my first marriage. I never once wrote in it. Not a single word.
It’s like there were too many cobwebs in the closet. Writing them down would get messy. Yet writing without mentioning them would feel artificial. So the book remained empty. I guess that was an accurate record of how I felt at the time.
As soon as my first marriage ended, even that first weekend after he left, I pulled out that empty journal and began writing as I sobbed:
“I am sadly starting this journal on a very sad note. He’s gone. How did this happen to me? Dear God, please help me to feel comfort, safety, peace. Help me to have faith in my life. Help me to feel whole. Help me to not need a spouse to feel peace and happiness…help me to feel fulfilled just being a child of God.”
It felt so good to do it. I was in the process of reclaiming my voice, evident by that fact that I was willing to write anything at all.
My voice got stronger and stronger. And there hasn’t been a day since that I would have shyed away from recording anything in my life.
What a difference, right?
It makes me think a lot more about journaling. I think there’s something extra going on there that we may not realize. You see, it demands that we are true to ourselves. It demands vulnerability. It’s very hard to fake anything in a journal. It’s a record of your soul. And I think the act of writing in a journal (or the inability to write in it) can reveal a lot about us, if we will allow ourselves to admit it….
Do you have any thoughts on this? Have you ever refrained from writing in a journal for a similar reason, or have you had the opposite experience? I’d love to hear!
Facebook (We so appreciate all the “likes”! thank you.)
ABAL Book Club (Discussion about Man’s Search for Meaning started Aug. 1. Buy the book here.)
Babble Voices & The Equals Record