04 June 2012

A Saved Life


Dear readers - this post is one of the most touching things I've ever read.  It's written by one of our readers, Kat S.  If I knew my blog was only going to be read by her, I'd still do it.  And, today's post was edited by another wonderful reader, Lisa Riley, who has volunteered to help us with a few endeavors related to this blog.  She has so many great ideas and talents, it is ridiculous.  Wow, we feel so blessed to know these two women because of this blog.  Thank you, both!


Five years ago I attempted suicide. The details aren't important, but to say I was at my lowest of lows is an understatement. I was done trying, done caring. Most of all, I lost all hope of my life ever getting better. After my "special visit to the hospital," I thought I was so unlucky to have made it out alive. I actually felt that way! Unlucky for still being alive! For many days after that I really just wanted to disappear. Slowly, and with A LOT of help from loving family and friends (and a court order), I started to come out of the hole I inhabited.

Even though I didn’t have much desire to get better, I tried EVERYTHING that was suggested to me -- psychologists, psychiatrists, medication, biofeedback labs, guided imagery/visualization, meditation, muscle response testing, chakra magnetic therapy, et cetera. You name it, I tried it! I even read everything I could get my hands on about happiness, energy, “the secret”, positive thinking, and religion, but it really didn’t connect for me. Somehow, I could visualize and recognize happy people, the lifestyle, the way of thinking, but it just didn't seem possible for me. The ability to live at peace with life's happenings didn't seem like something I could achieve. I could see it happening in others' lives, but never in my own life.

Last year, when I thought I had recovered from the very feelings that landed me in the hospital in the first place, they slowly seeped back into my life. I was in so much pain, it hurt to even breathe. Suffice it to say, I really didn't want to go through it all again and I was considering a more, well... successful exit. That lonely night, when I was completely depressed and ready to give up (AGAIN!), I found and started reading A Blog About Love. I came across this post.  It felt like these lines were written specifically for me:

"BE READY TO DO SOMETHING HARD.  Like...probably the HARDEST things you'll ever do…Rising above this stuff is NOT EASY. BUT, figuring out what you are made of will be the most rewarding thing you'll ever achieve. I promise.”

After reading this I cried.  I cried, I prayed, and I kept on reading.  From that day on my life started to change.  A LOT.  The ideas were not completely new to me, but there was something in the simple way the same message was presented, that made it click for me. It gave me the hope and the strength I needed to get up and try again. I felt, so deeply, the genuine love pouring out from the words on the screen, the words Danny and Mara wrote. Everything I was reading, everything Mara and Danny were saying, gave me hope to believe, for the first time in a long time, that true happiness was possible. I began to understand that the truths I'd been learning for the last few years weren't just THEORIES, but rather, they were REALITIES! For me, Danny and Mara became a living example of the life I was hoping to live and hadn't been able to achieve.


 My life has forever been changed by the message expressed on A Blog About Love, and for that I will be eternally grateful. I believe that finding this blog was not only time-appropriate (to say the least!), but also miraculous. More than anything, I now know that I want to be ALIVE! I want to experience it ALL! I don't think I've entirely found my way into where I want or need to be, but so many things have already changed for the better (though I remain on a bit of a social hiatus!). But most importantly, rather than "I'll never get there," my attitude is more of "I'm on my way."

And I am.

-Kat S.

(Image sources:  misswallflower, flickr)

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  1. To Kat- I'm so happy that you have come through that dark place, and found these truths and their ability to transform your life. Congratulations! I know from personal experience that this can be a very difficult thing to do, and I applaud your courage. It is so great to read your story on here, and I want to thank you for sharing it! Keep going! xx

  2. To Kat too - I am also very glad to read your story and to know that you are on your way...Bravo! If in the future, you find yourself feeling down like that again, please do remember this moment, please do remember that you know that there is a way out, it can be rough, but it is totally worth it. I had struggled with depression sometimes in my life and I remember one day that I had a friend on the phone and he asked me how was I doing, and I said: " I am fine". For the first time in months I really meant it and it even surprised me. We stood in silence, cherishing this moment and he broke the silence and said: "Please, do remember this in the future. Do remember that after months of fighting in the darkness of your own soul and life, you found your way out and that you can do it. Please promise that!" And I did promise. And I did remember when I felt that the monster was walking around my soul again. And it has empowered me, because I know that I can beat it, even when it's really tough! I am extremely happy for you and I know that this will help lots of people struggling out there too. Thank you, for finding your way out and to live to tell the story!

    To Danny and Mara - thank you for sharing this moving post. And thanks again for your blog, and your lives, and your love. Please leave us some place, so we too can get into heaven someday... If it was a limited place, I would fear that with the size of your hearts, there wouldn't be much place for others... How reassuring to know it is infinite.... :)

  3. Wow, this is incredible. Kat, it is so wonderful to know that something has reached and touched you..... And Mra (and Danny), it must be amazing to know you have helped save a life.

  4. Kay, thank you for sharing your story! You are brave, strong and awesome! It's not easy to overcome a dark cloud. Please keep at it. Even when the going gets tough, pull through, trek and climb that mountain, because you are worth it and you have a lot to offer to this world. Your story has changed me and it will change others. Thank you!

  5. Kat: Lots of love and blessings to you as you continue your journey out of the darkness.

  6. Kat - what an inspiring and brave thing you have done (the experience AND having the generosity & courage to tell your story). I wish you love and light as you move forward.

    My situation isn't as extreme as yours but there are similarities. I'm dealing with a long term illness that has left me pretty much housebound. I have dealt with it well for 12 years but I had hit the limit of my strength and optimism. I was searching for help and felt a surge of relief when I found this blog. I have been reading a little each day and it is helping me move from a place of fear and pain towards a place that is much more hopeful. (It actually profoudly changed the path of my life this week but I am unable to say why here). Thank you, Mara and Danny. You are extraordinary people :-) I appreciate how inclusive your attitude is (I'm English and have no true understanding of the Church of the LDS other than what I have read here. I have not been brought up to be religious, despite living opposite a beautiful ancient church!) I feel welcome here and I am learning and changing with every post that I read. (Like Kat, the ideas you express aren't entirely new to me but you have a way of imbuing them with integrity and love and a new sort of clarity).

    Thank you.

  7. I love how you summarized your change of attitude about it all-- "I'm on my way." What a great way to look at it. Thank you so much for sharing this intimate part of your life! It will surely do good!

  8. This is a fantastic post. Thanks Kat for having the guts to share all of that. The November 11th post is special to me too.

  9. Kat-
    Thanks for sharing your story! This may be just the beginning of truly getting better and it may be hard at times but you are on the exact road you are meant to be on. You were guided to this blog at jus the right moment and you will continue to be guided to full recovery! Best wishes- Maria

  10. What a heartfelt outpouring of emotions! Kat, you are so brave to talk about your lows and so talented to transfer your thoughts and feelings in a way that moves and motivates others. Thank you for that.

    I think everyone that is a follower of this blog has been drawn to it for a reason, and I know that we are all so thankful for the everyday inspiration it brings into our own lives.

  11. Wow this is incredible. Touching lives in a such a way is so rewarding. Thanks for sharing this story. It inspires me to reach out to others. And I thank Danny and Mara for dedicating so much of their time to do so.

  12. Way to go Kat! You are remarkable, and courageous. Deciding to try to be something else takes courage and determination. I want to wish you the very best on the journey to discover what you're made of and how incredible you are. This life holds so much for you and all those who dive in and work for it. lot of LOVE to you.

  13. Kat, Mara, and Danny - you are all amazing and beautiful people! Thank you for your words.

  14. Everyone - THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH for all the kind words and encouragement! I'm blessed to have found this blog and to feel so much love and support, not only from Mara and Danny but also from all of you! I feel so blessed and so loved, it's humbling and overwhelming. Thank you for all your advice and encouragement as I continue on this journey!

    @Ashley Doan - it wasn't all me! Lisa Riley is a talented editor ;)

    Thanks again!

  15. God bless you Kat S. Thanks for sharing! After reading your post, I'm going to keep you in my prayers.


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