I hope this won't send any bad vibes by me pointing this out so bluntly, but I think some of us women have a problem. At least a lot of us do. I've just seen way, way too many of us do stupid things & make bad decisions when it comes to relationships. And I did, too. (Oh my.) And mostly, it's because we are often times SO nice and SO loving and forgiving and it can often work against us when that is not coupled with confidence and strength and a clear vision of the kind of woman we want to be and the kind of man that we want to be with.
SOOOO...we end up putting up with men who aren't marriage-quality or that don't even treat us well. We fear that we'll never meet anyone else. And we end up thinking less of ourselves and thinking we should just stick it out or that things are still good (despite horrible behaviors such as A, B, C...Z). And even though we are in situations that seem so ridiculous to any outsider, in the moment....we can be BLIND! So let's change that ! :)
Here are a few ideas:
- If you are dating a man who is abusive to you verbally or physically, END THE RELATIONSHIP and for heaven's sake, do not still "desire" his love or his approval. PLEASE. Believe that you deserve more.
- If a man tells you he just isn't ready for marriage or a relationship or just isn't ready to commit.......SAY THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND GOOD BYE!!! I have seen WAY too many women stick it out, hoping that he just needs more time, making the whole thing even more difficult on him, making him second guess his decisions, etc. All along, the woman's self worth is going through the shredder and she feels more and more desperate and needy to be loved by this man who is trying to tell her the answer is "no". I always say that NEWBORNS need to be baby-sat. Not 30 or 40 year-old men. Let them figure out their lives on their own time at their own pace, without you standing by and waiting/hovering/pressuring. If you have to convince someone or talk them into it, deep down you'll always wonder. I say end the relationship and find a man whose timing matches yours.
- If a man you are dating has cheated on you or is even dishonest with you about where he is, who he has been with, etc..........cancel any and all plans to stay in that relationship & feel grateful that this leaked out now instead of after marriage. I have seen WAY too many women continue to date men who have cheated on them and they actually even still long for him to give them love and attention. BE BETTER THAN THAT. DO NOT DESIRE DISHONORABLE MEN.
Ladies, BE STRONG and know that you can & will meet someone better if you take the actions necessary. I am rooting for you!!! Just remove yourself from bad situations and focus on being a better, stronger, happier person and soon enough you'll be aligned with other people who share your ideals. I don't think we always realize the amount of control we have over the kind of men that we attract.
Has anyone been stuck in a situation like this? I think it happens to all of us at some point in our lives. How did you know to get out?