17 April 2012

"How To Overcome Your Problems" by a Teenager with Cystic Fibrosis



I have had the honor & privilege of recently emailing and talking with the woman who sparked within me everything that I now write about on this blog.  I love the way she speaks about things.  She talked of the potential of every single woman to find the treasure in her suffering; to give birth to who she really is.  She reminisced that the work we did together resulted in me becoming who I really was - and that I just needed to peel away all that other stuff that I was holding in the way.  She said that there is nothing infertile about me, that I am more of a mother now than I would have been, even if I had ten kids.  What a wonderful woman she is.  So thankful that my life crossed paths with her.  So thankful each & every time that I can soak up some of her wisdom.

She recently sent me this video of a young girl who is just rocking her trial of cystic fibrosis, and just rocking life in general.   I just had to share this with you...... it is so, so good.   You will be amazed.

-Mara

P.S.  A few Love Announcements today that I can't keep from you any longer...


-Have you seen the exhilarating videos about the Holi Festival of Colors (a Hindu event that welcomes spring)?  For anyone who loves color AND love, take a look.  As you can imagine, I am a complete sucker for both.  (Here is my favorite video I've seen so far.  I want to keep watching it over & over. And here are a few more from around the world.)

-I never would have imagined that kitchen knives could create something so beautiful.

-I'm loving these cube aeriums containing small plants, a lovely version of a terrarium and an easy way to bring a little nature into your home.

-My friend had on these sandals and they were just so bright & cute!  I'm loving these, too: 1, 2, 3

-I love cross-stitch & would love some hanging on my walls.  It takes me back to summer projects with my 4 sisters.  So naturally, I'm loving this cross-stitch jewelry, too.  One day I'll sit around and leisurely do something crafty.  Ha.  In the meantime.....

-Registration for "A CLASS ABOUT LOVE" will be up very soon!  :)  :)  We are just working out the fine details.  In the meantime, mark your calendars for our series of (6) classes.  We hope that you will join us:

Tues., April 24, 8:00 pm ET - How to Choose Happiness.  The Basics.  101.
Thursday, May 3, 8:00 pm ET - Trials & Tribulations.  They happen.  How do we face them?
Wednesday, May 9, 8:00 pm ET - How to Build & Enhance Self-Worth
Tuesday, May 15, 8:00 pm ET - How to Develop the Language of Love
Wednesday, May 23, 8:00 pm ET - How to Create a Better/Happier Marriage or Relationship
Thursday, May 31, 8:00 pm - How to Forgive, Truly



Follow @ablogaboutlove on Twitter

18 comments:

  1. Thank you for this! I was really needing some optimism and colors today!!! have a bright day!

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  2. Oh Mara, this is inspiring. Thank you!

    Also, I read another blog post today that made me think of your posts about inner beauty and confidence; and thought it was relevant and appropriate to share. Here it is! :)
    http://becauseeverybodyhasastory.blogspot.se/2012/04/you-are-enough.html

    Cheers!

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  3. we watched conference finally here in australia this past weekend (its usually delayed by a week and watched the following sunday at church, but there was easter..) and I thought of you several times! esp when Elder Packer said this

    Another young couple tearfully told me they had just come from a doctor where they were told they would be unable to have children of their own. They were brokenhearted with the news. They were surprised when I told them that they were actually quite fortunate. They wondered why I would say such a thing. I told them their state was infinitely better than that of other couples who were capable of being parents but who rejected and selfishly avoided that responsibility.

    I told them, “At least you want children, and that desire will weigh heavily in your favor in your earthly lives and beyond because it will provide spiritual and emotional stability. Ultimately, you will be much better off because you wanted children and could not have them, as compared to those who could but would not have children.”

    and so many other times when talking about happiness forgiveness etc. So many universal themes you are sharing that we all need to hear.

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    1. What does this mean? That people who are fertile and choose to not have children are worst people? Or wrong? Is there an obligation to have children?

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    2. I don't understand this either. Who are we to say how others will be judged or compare who is more right or good. We don't truly know the reasons why some people "would not have children".
      Case in point - I know women who "would not have children" that others have judged as too focused on career and not having the right priorities. One is a sexual abuse survivor and the other is definitively infertile. They don't tell people why they don't have children because it is no one's business. And anyone insensitive enough to judge them is too insensitive to share their struggles with anyhow.
      Let's be compassionate with those we want to show compassion without bringing in our judgement of others. It is possible to just say "you will be blessed" without saying "and those other people will not".

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    3. And even there are women out there who are great human beings and don't feel like motherhood is their path... They are still wonderful people who are doing so many good and great things in this world... even just by being themselves. And it's also amazingly responsible to chose not to be a mother if you don't feel it's your path. This is also a choice out of love and respect towards others.

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    4. I understand what you guys are saying, but this small excerpt of the talk does not reflect the point he was trying to make. I guarantee he wasn't trying to make anyone feel bad. I would suggest listening to the whole talk before jumping to conclusions. Also, if you are not of the LDS faith, it may seem a little judgmental, but that is not the desire of the speaker. Yes, the LDS in general believe that it is important to have children. It is said that we are supposed to multiply and replenish the earth. HOWEVER, we also have been taught that if you are married, it is a decision that is to be made by prayerful consideration. In other words, it is between you, your spouse, and the Lord. That's it. No one else should be involved.

      I also want to mention that his words were "rejected and selfishly avoided that responsibility." I took that to represent those people who cared more about themselves than they ever could a child. Obviously, there are a lot of people who don't have children, and who also DON'T FIT THAT DESCRIPTION. There are all sorts of different situations. Who really knows why others don't have children? We are not here to judge each other. Only the couple involved knows why they don't have children. There is absolutely no point in pointing fingers. Honestly, we really are all in this together, and we all only have one judge--our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who is the only person who can judge righteously. And he will, when the time comes. All we are supposed to do, is to try our best, try to give of ourselves in what ever way we can, stay close to the Lord, and love, love, love.

      I think the real point here is no one should feel like less of a person than someone else IF THEY KNOW THEY ARE TRYING THEIR BEST. Those who CAN'T have children, do not need to feel like they are LESS THAN other people who do. No one deserves to feel like they are less than anyone else. We are all brothers and sisters. We just need to respect each other, and help each other recognize that we are all of divine worth.

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    5. So those who chose not to have children shouldn't feel like LESS either, for everyone out there is trying their best to live well their lives...

      And the thing is there are some people out there who shouldn't be parents... not because they are mean and selfish, but because they are not ready, or because they make life choices that are tough to balance with raising children- as working in humanitarian programs in war areas to help people, or touch the world doing music concerts or they are so deep into their research for cancer or understanding something else and that takes so much time of them, or doing long years of meditation retreats - so, even if they had kids, they wouldn't be able to be as present to their kids as we (and they) would wish them to.

      And how many people have kids and don't take real care of them because they don't know how or they can't do better? (Maybe because they have financial problems; maybe because they weren't loved and nurtured enough as someone's child; maybe because they are depressed; or maybe because it wasn't their path and they felt the social pressure to have kids anyway.

      Chosing not to have children is an amazing and courageous choice too, and it's responsible towards the children and society. It can be made out of love and lack of selfishness too.

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    6. I agree. I think we are on the same page here... Once again, if the couple has asked the Lord and received their answer (whatever it may be), then they have done what's best for their family, and it really isn't anyone else's business.

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    7. Thanks for replying! May everyone be happy and walk their divine path! :)

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  4. Wow! What a great perspective to looking at our trials and learning from them as well as developing more compassion for others. Love this video and truly look up to this teenage girl!

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  5. What an insprirational speaker she is. What she said has really hit home and I can't wait to make the changes and embrace the learning and enlightenment as she says.

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  6. WOW!!! that claire is AMAZING. Thank you for sharing her video. She is so right, i love that, look at your challenges as your friend. What an insightful young woman. I am going to do this, so thank you Claire.. and thank you Danny and Mara!

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  7. What an AMAZING young girl! I will definitely take her challenge! It is so true... everyone is dealing with something in their lives... everyone. No one is exempt from difficult times or trials.

    I know of a woman who was as awe inspiring as this lovely teen. My boyfriends sister was diagnosed with Leukemia the very day she delivered her first child. As she was fighting for her life, separated from her newborn, instead of asking "WHY ME?" all the time, she'd always say "Why NOT me?" Even thought she was hanging on for her very life, she was positive till the end. What a beautiful message for us all....

    Thank you for sharing Mara, yet again another lovely post!

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  8. Awesome. You all are beautiful and inspiring! -Melissa

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  9. Thanks for posting this; my husband died of cystic fibrosis last year, at age 42, well older than the doctors predicted when he was diagnosed in the early 1970s and almost 10 years after receiving the life-saving gift of a double-lung transplant. (For transplants of his vintage, 10 years of survival is very "good.") At any rate, it is meaningful to me to raise awareness of this specific disease and to, in general, prompt seeing people who have potentially life-shortening diseases as people first, and medical cases second. I know my husband wanted to be remembered in the things he created and the lives he touched, and, although he was very brave, not as a one-dimensional person who bravely faced illness. Thank you.

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    1. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Elizabeth...

      Your husband sounds brave beyond measure and like a good, good man.

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