08 March 2012

VULNERABILITY STEP ONE

How to have self worth
Photo:  Saydi Eyre Shumway
I have thought a lot about how I went from not being vulnerable AT ALL (trust me on that!! :) to being willing to pour my heart and soul out to people & try to connect with people all the time.  By some miracle, this changed for me about 4 or 5 years ago. And it was then that I began to really LIVE.


Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes
Photo source:  Fierce, Inc.
I really have been trying to pinpoint what changed for me (since a few of you requested a step-by-step after this post).  I want to share the details in case any of you are wanting to feel more free in your interactions with others; in case you want to change your life, too, and live more fully with your "whole heart", with more courage, & more confidence; in case you want to connect more fully with others.  If I can come a long way, I KNOW THAT YOU CAN, TOO!!!  :)  

For today, here is STEP 1.... 

STEP 1:  BELIEVE YOU HAVE WORTH.  OWN IT.  COMPLETELY. 

This was the root of me becoming more willing to be vulnerable.  I finally believed that I was worth something.  This. changed. my. life.  (I love it that Brene Brown also discovered in her research that having a sense of worthiness was necessary.)

Growing up Mormon, from a young age, you are taught a very, very clear idea about who you are & what your potential is: 
 
1 - You are worth something. 
2 - You are capable of great things. 
3 - You have a connection to the divine. 
4 - You can continually learn & grow because of your trials.
5 - You get to choose how you experience your life.
6 - You are capable of developing love, which is the most important thing in this life. 

Unfortunately I didn't really choose to actively think about any of this stuff most of my life.  In fact, I actually kind of turned my nose up at any of that religious mumbo jumbo (ha!) because I just wasn't spiritually mature enough yet to see that it was actually ridiculously beautiful.  And besides, I was doing just fine.  But after some life-sucking experiences in my first marriage & the first year of infertility, I realized that my life was not turning out the way I had envisioned.  I was stripped of everything that I thought would make my life wonderful.  And so I had to redefine what this life was all about for me. 

Luckily, I started to give those bare bone basics a try (the 6 things listed above).  It was kind of an experiment.  I hadn't ever really "owned" these beliefs before.  But at that point in my life...I had nothing to lose, so I worked from my ground zero and started telling myself the 6 things listed above.  I wish I could fully express how I did this.  But I just CLUNG TO THESE LIKE THEY WERE THE ONLY THINGS THAT MATTERED!!!!!  Over hell or high water, I didn't want to live & die without having these things.  Those lines became my mantras.  I started to believe them.  They became the script in my head - even in the face of my life's greatest trials.  I started to live as if these things were really, really, REALLY true.  I let this stuff run through my veins.  It changed me from head to toe.  I finally knew that I had worth.  No person or circumstance or criticism or thought in my own head could change that.

So back to Step 1.  BELIEVE THAT YOU, TOO, HAVE WORTH.  I believe every person on earth is beautiful, capable, worthy & full of tremendous potential to transform into something greater.  I hope you believe that, too.  If you don't...

1.  Start saying mantras everyday.  REPEAT THEM.  THINK OF THEM IN YOUR HEAD.  WRITE THEM DOWN.  Do this until they are a part of your belief system. 

2.  Surround yourself with people that believe you are worth something, too.  I surround myself often with spiritually enlightened people.  I go to church, as well, which is just a powerhouse for reminding me of my worth.  I stay in touch with my family.  I seek out friendships that are uplifting.

3.  You may need to distance yourself from people trying to destroy your self-worth.  These people are out there.  If you are around friends or family that are sucking the life out of you....seriously think about distancing yourself....at least until you are strong enough to not have your worth shaken just by being around them. 

4.  Keep a gratitude journal Focus on writing down what you love about YOU...what do you have to offer?  Make a huge list.  I totally did this.  I probably did this in the first nights I was alone in this apartment.  Confession: I did this sometimes on the train, on my way to dates.  I kept a list in my i-phone.  haha.  I say why not???  You HAVE TO train yourself to have positive thoughts about who you are.  :)  The only person that can make that happen is you.  :)

The rest of the steps will be coming soon. 

I'm rooting for you all,

Mara

p.s. What else can you guys add here?  If you have self-worth,  WHY do you feel that?  Was it a journey?  What helped you to have self-worth??

41 comments:

  1. I was in a pretty bad relationship before meeting my husband. It's the typical - the guy is terrible to the girl and the girl is so blind because she loves him. Once this guy moved away from where I was living, we broke it off. I met my husband while I was experiencing the hardest times. I felt I had NO worth and that I would never be happy. I became depressed and it was just a really difficult time.

    My husband knew I would be his wife. He never EVER stopped pursuing me, even when I dumped him FOUR times! I know that coming to have self-worth is a very personal thing, but my husband helped me feel that way. He knew I was a beautiful person when I didn't. Over time I started to believe him when he said I was good and smart and loving and all the good qualities I have. Now I know I am.

    Growing up in the Mormon church, I recited the YW theme each week. I'm lucky enough that I get to do that each week now. "We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who LOVES us, and we love Him." I'm the type of person who needs a lot of love - from everyone - and I had to learn that not everyone is willing to give me love, or couldn't care less! But to know that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me for who I am, big butt and stubbornness and all, is a huge thing for me. I learned that I do have worth. And now I love myself for it.

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    1. Oh man - so glad your path went the way they did. That's wonderful. And what a good husband you have.

      And - oh my, I looove the YW Theme.

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  2. I could not agree with #3 more. It seems so obvious to me that people should distance themselves from toxic influences on their lives but so many people feel imprisioned by some odd sense of duty that they keep subjecting themselves to it needlessly. All people should learn that lesson.

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  3. That quote is so powerful. (Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes.) I love it.

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  4. lovely, lovely, lovely.
    mantras truly work. i used to think it was such fluff, but if realized that if I can't be self-affirming then I can't expect others to affirm me either.

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  5. I think a huge part of this is gaining confidence. As you have said, to OWN yourself, stick up for yourself, and go for what you want. In most cases, it's not going to be handed to you unless you speak up for yourself.

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  6. I love the Young Women's Theme. Once a month them come into Relief Society and we all say it together. It is a beautiful thing to have little baby 12 year olds all the way up to our 90 year old "wise women" saying those beautiful words together, uniting us.

    Faith, Divine Nature, INDIVIDUAL WORTH, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, Integrity, and Virtue.

    Isn't that the most beautiful formula that makes us a human being?

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    1. Yes, yes, yes.....I LOVE the YW Theme. Every word of it. I often have to hold back the tears because it's just so beautiful.

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  7. I grew up in a verbally demeaning home and so I struggle now to this day with feeling self worth. I married a wonderful man inspite of my up-bringing who tells me how beautiful and important I am, I am also LDS but I just still struggle to feel worthy, I tend to focus on all thats wrong with me and why I just don't measure up, I desperately want to take the advice to feel worth something but I just don't know how to go from believing that something is wrong with me all these years to now I am ok and worth it? I realize that my father didn't feel good about himself and so he tried to make me feel like it was my fault I realize it wasn't now that I am older but I still feel like it took a toll on me and somehow I just never feel all the way whole because this happened to me. I try to be positive and tell myself I am worth it but deep down it's like it won't sink in. Telling yourself is one thing believing it is another how do you actually start to really believe it?

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    1. Would it help to flip your perspective? Instead of focusing on what you believe (or don't believe) about yourself, focus on what God believes about you...I am coming to know that my own self-image can be volatile. And yet God's love is unwavering. I can trust that he sees something worthy in me even when my vision falters.

      Once when I was backpacking in the mountains, I came across this really gorgeous meadow and I had this funny thought. That meadow is gorgeous all of the time, even when no hikers come to see it. And there are likely thousands and thousands of places in the world - from mountain ranges to quiet little corners - that no one appreciates and no one sees at any given moment but God. And then I thought that maybe that is how God sees me. Fully. And he appreciates all of the gorgeous spaces within my heart, even when they haven't been seen or appreciated by myself or others.

      And God sees all of those places in you, too.

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    2. CAROLYN - I love what you wrote here!!

      ANON - I've been trying to think of what else I could add....and here it is... This works for me time & time again. I hope it can work for you, too. I think LOVE is the most powerful force we have. Think of who you love so dearly (your husband, children born or unborn) - and choose to feel whole, choose to let go of the hurt & pain, choose to believe that you are worth something - out of LOVE for them! Choose to forgive your father completely and move on as your own individual self with your own path. Choose to be free from all that baggage. Choose to let it go & believe in yourself... so that you can offer the best of yourself to your loved ones. I know it is a different way of thinking about it, but like I said, it works like a charm for me...there is no force more powerful that could have gotten me through some of my most challenging times - - and I still use this trick now with so many things.

      Also - I hope you saw the awesome comment, below, that was also directed to this thread.... from "Anonymous Mar 8, 2012 06:38 PM"

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    3. Forgive me if this is clumsily spoken, but the following thought has been helpful to me -

      When we feel like we just can't measure up - it's always after considering how we THINK we are doing in comparison with how we THINK others are doing. However - (1) we usually don't see others (or ourselves) very accurately, and (2) we're not in a covenant relationship with others, we're in a covenant relationship with Christ (even our marital vows involve Him as an essential element).

      I find that when I feel that I'm not "measuring up" I silently say to myself - "Don't look side to side at others, look up". Let Him alone be the one who defines your worth. Even though you may mistakenly believe for a time that your decisions or thoughts make you of little value to Him, be patient in approaching Him and He will cause you to feel your worth in a way more powerful than all the praise and positive thinking others can deliver.

      The truth is that He loves us and there is nothing you or I can ever do to change it. His love exists independent of us and our decisions. That's a powerful lesson for how we should love others if we are to emulate Him.

      Hmmm. Seems that once again it's all about love. :)

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  8. Affirmations are so vital and helpful. They may seem silly at first but they have GREAT power over time. One of my favorites is a basic truth that can get tossed by the way-side so easily yet it is so powerful. I repeat to myself "I am a daughter of God" or "I am God's Daughter" over and over and over and over again so now negative thoughts can attack me in those vulnerable moments. Eventually by the fifth or sixth time I repeat it, I feel safe and empowered.

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  9. I LOVE this. Thank you, Mara. You are such an inspriation! I feel so connected to you, despite never meeting, simply because you've been to the bottom and had to climb back up so you know these things from personal experience. It makes them all the more powerful to me! It's a testimony of knowing your worth is important because you had to fight for that! I feel like that a lot, that every day I'm fighting to feel my worth! And it's very self-fulfilling and wonderful to just appreciate myself.

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  10. I've done a pretty decent job of removing toxic people from my life over the last few years however I'm in a situation right now where the absolute most toxic person is my boss. It's a struggle. I am doing my best to do what I can to change the situation and it's challenging. Thankfully she is on maternity leave right now so I have a little bit of breathing room.

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    1. Tiffany, I've been in that situation before (!). It turned out to be an incredible experience for me, because I chose to have compassion for the person - I just felt sorry for them - even (& especially) in their worst moments. Having compassion freed me of being affected by the toxicity myself. Everyday I clung to who I was and who I wanted to be...I didn't let that person change me from that path...and so everyday turned out to be quite fulfilling, actually, as I found myself becoming better and better at doing it. (It was definitely a conscious, deliberate effort.) Overall, until you get into a different job, it's a great opportunity to "practice" feeling your worth, reacting calmly, having compassion, etc. Good luck!!! :)

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  11. I've been thinking about this quote a lot lately.

    "We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are.”
    ― Marjorie Pay Hinckley

    I like how Rik said that she wants love from everyone. I feel that way. I feel like I spend so much time trying to prove something to get validation from other people when I know I just need to take responsibility for providing myself with the validation I need.

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  12. My self worth came at a young age when my parents divorced and I was thrown into the roll of mom and had to grow up very fast. I would see what I did on a daily basis and what others my age did and I was able to thrive in it rather than wallow in it. I was only 8 so the eyes of a child helped with that. As a teenager I rebelled against it but I had that core in me. As a mother I always tell my kids as they leave the house "Remember Who You Are". I also have it on a crown plaque about our dinning room table. Not only are they Children of God but that they carry our family name with honor. It's just remembering it for myself on those days I just want to throw in the towel.

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  13. I'm really struggling with step three. Just because shunning family feels like a cardinal sin. And the rest of the family thinks so too. I've realized that after seeing this person I shut down even more and can't allow myself to be vulnerable with anyone else, either. My husband calls me a little turtle. I hunker down inside my shell so that no one can hurt me. I really love this series, though. It's very eye opening and makes me want to try.

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  14. May I add to #3: There is a way to distance yourself from toxic people in a respectful and humane way -- to do it with integrity. We should remember that sometimes the people we are labelling here as "toxic" are the ones who are also going through a trial and the most in need of that very kindness. It takes so little effort to do this. To shun, or blatantly ignore someone is not kind. It might be best to let them know that you are taking a break from the relationship; that you are in need some distance and that with time you might be able to re-enter the relationship down the road or let them know that the relationship is over (if that is how you are feeling). But let them know. To just drop them and leave them hanging? I think there are better ways to go about this route and achieve the same goal.

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    1. I really loved your insights here, and what you've shared is completely in keeping with what we were trying to convey. Thank you for expressing it so well.

      This goes back to my post a few months ago...even after we choose that it is necessary to distance ourselves from someone, it is still important to choose *how* that distancing will be done. It should be done with as much kindness and consideration as you are capable of, while still maintaining the strength of your decision that you need the distance.

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  15. I'm definitely using these, thanks!

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  16. @Anonymous March 8, 2012 11:42. I'm sorry that you're going through that with your family. I too struggled with similar family problems for years. I also used to "hunker down inside my shell" until one day i realized a few things. One day i realized that I was " hunkering down inside my shell so no one could hurt me" but that i was actually hurting myself the most by doing this. My family member was not hurting me nearly as much as i was hurting myself. I started to figure out that i had some deep rooted insecurities that i needed to be honest with myself about. That no matter how much i tried to hide or shun the ones who "hurt" me i realized that i too had done some things that lead toward the bad family relations i was dealing with. I needed to take responsibility for my part in my relationships and be honest with myself. I needed to stop blaming others and stop trying to rationalize and justify everything i did as "i'm the victim." I decided that i wanted my family back and that was that. I was willing to take ownership in the things i did wrong and not blame at all. Just that small step helped so much- "ownership." I was able to be more open and honest. I just started putting myself out there slowly because i realized at the end of the day these people are all i have and they matter. Our family is slowly getting back to where it once was and it feels wonderful!:)

    Your post struck a nerve...in a good way. I'm not saying that you are in any way able to relate to my story. Your post just prompted me to be able to write mine.

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    1. This is really great advice, thank you for posting this. If it doesn't relate to the other anon, I'm sure someone else will read it and gain the wisdom they seek, and a little courage to do as you've described.

      Thank you!

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    2. Thank you for this. How kind of you to share and how inspiring for me to read. I know that these are true principles. I've been thinking a lot about Christ's teachings..."love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them who despitefully use you and persecute you.." I know she is fighting some hard battles and doesn't feel good about herself. I'm sure there must be a way for me to support her growth without being her kicking post, I just haven't figured it out yet. Honesty, as you say is key, but so so dangerous sometimes! But vulnerability is beautiful and even if my voice shakes...

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  17. Perfect Mara - as always. After my divorce I felt that it was imperative for me (and particularly for my then 9-year-old daughter) to not let this inform how I move forward in future relationships. The 2 things that I would add are this: 1) I firmly believe that trust is YOUR gift that you give to someone - not something that someone takes away. When a toxic person leaves your life they take that distrust with them. You still have yours to give. This was how I was so easily able to completely have faith in the man who is now my 2nd husband. 2) When I learned (again, because of my divorce) that you really cannot control anything or anyone in your life besides you, it was liberating - completely. I was so hell bent on saving a marriage that I never, ever thought would end - and that with enough determination I actually COULD save - that I couldn't bear to even think of the alternative. Well, the alternative happened, I survived and moved forward and learned the biggest lesson ever. And rather than have that unpredictability of life cripple me or hold me back it's actually emboldened me to take more chances and set that example for my children too. I will share this post and hope the entire world reads it and benefits from your lovely perspective on life. :)

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    1. SHERI! This comment just meant so much. THANK YOU! I love how you described trust - I hadn't thought of it that way before. I love every word you wrote...you articulated so much of what I feel/felt, too.

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  18. One of my favorite mantra is listening to Beautiful by Mercy Me

    Beautiful by Mercy Me

    Days will come when you don't have the strength
    And all you hear is you're not worth anything
    Wondering if you ever could be loved
    And if they truly saw your heart
    They'd see too much

    You're beautiful, You're beautiful
    You are made for so much more than all of this
    You're beautiful, You're beautiful
    You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
    You're beautiful

    Praying that you have the heart to fight
    Cuz you are more than what is hurting you tonight
    For all the lies you've held inside so long
    But they are nothing in the shadow of the cross

    You're beautiful, You're beautiful
    You are made for so much more than all of this
    You're beautiful, You're beautiful
    You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
    You're beautiful

    Before you ever took a breath
    Long before the world began
    Of all the wonders He possessed
    There was one more precious
    Of all the earth and skies above
    You're the one He madly loves
    Enough to die!!!

    You're beautiful, You're beautiful
    In His eyes

    You're beautiful!
    You are made for so much more than all of this
    You're beautiful!
    You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
    You're beautiful!
    You are made for so much more than all of this
    You're beautiful!
    You are treasured
    You are sacred
    You are His

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  19. Thanks Danny. I just knew that if i ever wanted to move forward at all and be happy in any area in my life i needed to move out of my "shell." My "shell" was holding me back from a world that was moving on without me! I remember realizing for me that i needed to stop trying to point out all the "wrong" that had been done to me. I clearly remember the day it came to me that it did not matter...pointing out the wrong done to me by someone else
    (family members). All that mattered is what i could do, what i was going to do, and what i wanted do to fix myself, and my family relationships. I suddenly stopped worrying about what my family members had done to me or how they were living. I suddenly stopped making it my mission to prove how wrong they had treated me. I suddenly stopped over analyzing everything they did and the way the live their life. It really did not make me love them less. I realized all i should do is focus on the person i wanted to be, the mother i want to be for my kids, the wife i want to be for my husband, and the daughter and sister i want to be to my family. I focused on honesty, being genuine, forgiveness, and service. I told myself everyday that i was not going to think of the past with my family. That this is a clean slate. We have both made mistake and we are all moving forward and i did not allow myself to ever dwell in the past..never, not once. My life slowly started to make a lot more sense and so has my relationship with my family. I look forward to each day. I never thought that i would be able to write that!

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  20. Over the last year I have been trying to remove from from my life all the negative energy that has been draining me and making me doubt myself from my life and I feel so much better--your advice is spot on and beautifully written.

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  21. I have been trying so hard to believe my worth instead of just telling myself...I too struggle with the fact that I can tell myself until I'm blue in the face and so can people around me, but I can't truly believe my self worth. I have been going to therapy for the very reason that I believe I don't matter to the world...and no matter how much my family or friends try and contradict that belief, it means nothing to me because I don't believe it. Mara you say to repeat mantras every day, but how does that make you believe it? I also love what you said in a comment above to change your way of thinking out of LOVE for the important people in your life...I believe that whole heartedly, but I don't know HOW to change. HOW do I do that? I struggle in a difficult marriage and I know I have lost much of my self worth because of a relationship where I feel completely unimportant. We are working on our problems and going to therapy, but the root of feeling inconsequential needs to change with me...and once I change that, I think I will be in a better place to make a decision with my marriage. I just don't know how to do it.

    Mara I would love for you to explain what those beginning days were like for you...what were the small steps you did EACH day that slowly changed your way of thinking. Was it merely the four steps stated above in this post? What about the days that were so hard and dark and you wanted to give up because you thought so low of yourself? How do you power through days like that? And ultimately change your thinking? I feel like I have days where I feel good and I have a small sense of confidence...but those are overpowered by the days where I feel hopeless because I just don't know if it's possible to change how I think...especially when I come home and the reality hits of the marriage I am in.

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  22. I have to say I really enjoy your blog. The openness, the vulnerability to be honest with those of us it can benefit! I will certainly be following your blog on a daily basis! I'm so excited because it reminds me of my blog and what I am blogging about. Though quite different it gives me perspective even in my own journey. Thank you!

    Trini
    Http://journeyspot.webs.com

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  23. You inspired me to blog again Mara. you're writing is amazing and all this advice is good for me. hopefully it isn't too late for me to express myself. You've helped me to realize how important one person could be in your life, and also how to fully appreciate them and yourself at the same time. It's hard for me to express any type of emotion and i never really had faith in people sticking around in my life. Finding someone that wanted to do so was hard for me to take in, but after reading your blog and repeating to myself how I'm worth it I am (even though I didn't feel like I was); I finally realized it's ok to be happy and to take a chance on love. In order to trust someone else completely I have to first trust my self knowing that I will give my all to help him make our relationship as healthy as possible.

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  24. Thank you, thank you, thank you dear Mara and Danny. I heard about your blog on Sunday as I was meeting with two amazing women and discussing what message we wanted to get through to our Young Women. We all felt so strongly that THIS MESSAGE is so important for everyone to hear, but I feel so drawn to helping these wonderful young women learn it. It's something I have struggled with for 41 year, and it was finally YOUR BLOG that helped me to CHOOSE to be happy and CHOOSE to begin to love and honor MYSELF- the way I know my amazing future husband will treat me. I am CHOOSING to focus on falling in love with myself and supporting ALL of me- not just the places that I am doing well, but especially the times when I am struggling. I am overwhelmed with gratitude at the AMAZING changes that have come into my life in the past 4 days because of your commitment to live your truth! Thank you!

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  26. My two older brothers verbally abused me when I was a child, which caused me to feel ugly and insignificant. I was so angry at them then. Now that I am grown, I have worked through some of it and found forgiveness.

    Although, when I learned that pornography addiction was to be apart of my marriage, it was like I was transported back to those worthless feeling again. Don't get me wrong my husband does not verbally abuse me at all, but his addiction has caused me to feel those worthless feelings I felt as a child. I have never really loved myself and now I am forced to confront it and I don't like it at all.

    This post is just what I needed today. Thank you Mara! I do actually have a positive thoughts journal that I started after suffering several miscarriages and dealing with depression. It has gotten me through some rock bottom moments.

    I need to create some mantras of my own and may borrow a few of yours.
    I am excited to read more of your posts:)

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  27. Recently, as I’ve been learning about emotions, I realized my study was connected with the monumental topic of vulnerability. (Light bulb!) I was a shy, sensitive child, who grew up in an environment where I did not learn to feel emotionally safe. I finally realized over the last couple of weeks what that feeling is and why I've been closed off both to being vulnerable within myself and vulnerable with other people.

    I started looking back at why I have felt so unsafe so much of the time. All of my usual insecurities came back: will people like me, am I completely unhealthy, do I have what it takes to create healthy relationships, will I pass my baggage onto my children, can I be strong, enough, whole enough, likable enough, good enough for...whatever?

    Then, in another flash of light, I realized I am not my baggage. Unsafe and unworthy is baggage I have carried with me, but it is not me. I began to separate the labels and I looked around at my life with new eyes. Doing that allowed me to answer those questions, drop my baggage, and step away from it. I feel whole and empowered. I know who I am. I am a daughter of God, with beauty, strength, ability, and value. I can be the best I can be right now, and that is enough. In fact, it is better than I thought it was.

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    1. This is a FANTASTIC comment and personal epiphany! "I realized I am not my baggage". This is so key and understanding what that actually means often reflects the start of a whole new and wonderful path. That little paradigm shift changes everything (mostly because it changes the way that YOU see everything around you...even if things themselves don't actually change much at all)

      Seriously love what you wrote!

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  28. Where do I begin ,to thank the sisters, that I have never met, but so touched my heart with the sharing of their journeys? Different details....but same sense of pain, aloneness, lack of self worthiness. I and my husband were leaders in the church.My husband betrayed me for years with my sisters in our church. It has been a journey to let go of the dream I had with my husband and those sisters. I wad just staying to open up till women as friends. In high school ,most of my friends were males. It seemed so much easier that way..I am learning that hurt people ,hurt people, if the bleeding is not put to a stop. I am learning that I don't want to live from a place called "perpetual pain",and" fear to love" , just because SOME did not return my love. I will learn to come out of my shell....it's very lonely and dark in there. Thanks to all my sisters who haven't given up on themselves, haven't given up on love, and are open to release even those sisters who have hurt and betrayed simply because they did not believe the very same things about themselves, that we are discussing. We must help one another to stop the internal bleeding.....and this silent killer called"I don't really know my own unique God given"worth print". Thank you to this author aging my blog sisters...(and any bro there's out there)

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  29. Thank you for this post. I find it very hard to open up to other people and be vulnerable, I think because I've been hurt in the past. I worry this means I will never be able to connect fully with others, I tend to hold people away from me. But I've been reading this post over and over again and reading the others in the series too and I'll try practising the steps and maybe one day I will be able to connect like I want to. I don't really feel that I have any worth sometimes, so it's something I need to work on.

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