If you can't tell already (ha!), I'm a huge fan of marriage and a huge fan of families. If I can inspire men & women to not go near an affair with a ten foot pole, then I want to try.
Our grandparents and parents probably taught us a lot of good old fashioned morals, ones that I think we should cling to in our marriages. But because of the internet, we need to update our moral codes. Big time. I hope you don't mind a couple of more posts about the Internet & Your Marriage!
Here we go with 7 tips from Ensign Magazine. They were written by a woman who developed an innocent friendship online...then an emotional affair...then a physical affair. Here is what she wants to pass on to you....
7 warning signs that you are having an inappropriate on-line relationship:
1. You are withdrawing from your spouse.
2. You are hiding communications with your friend from your spouse. If you feel you need to keep the relationship a secret, it's inappropriate.
3. You are preoccupied with and day dream about your friend.
Even if you don't have a physical relationship with your online friend, your thoughts can reveal that the relationship is inappropriate. Whether it is writing another person or thinking about another person, the way we spend our mental energy is an indicator of our true focus.
4. You are sharing your thoughts, feelings, and problems with your online friend instead of your spouse. Would your spouse be pleased if he/she knew I was confiding in, lunching with, or flirting with another person?
5. Your online friend seems to understand you better than your spouse does. You find yourself feeling an intimate connection. You anticipate when you can communicate or be with your online friend again.
6. You are not interested in being close to your spouse, emotionally or physically. "When a person loses interest in being close to a spouse - emotionally or physically - that person may make the mistake of looking elsewhere for that closeness. "
7. When confronted about having feelings toward someone other than your spouse, you justify your actions to yourself and others. Friendships are important at all stages of life, but don't use this to rationalize behavior you know is inappropriate.
Dang. These are good. I think these tips seem dead on.
Yes, I am extra passionate about this. Danny & I have many personal reasons why. We know people who have ignored these signs and ruined their families. RUINED THEIR FAMILIES. It is not worth it.
Friends - married or single...let's decide that we won't ever get involved in this crap. It will never end well. It will never be something to be proud of. It will never have a positive impact on any child or person involved. Let's all choose the higher road for ourselves and our families! :)
Can you relate to any of these warning signs (whether due to your own life experience or someone else's)? Do you think these are worthwhile to pay attention to?
(Photo by Vivian Maier)