|(Polish Movie Poster: "Sunday Morning" by Eryk Lipinski, 1955)|
I truly enjoyed your emails last night. So happy that you are able to tangibly feel what I am dying to express - a true appreciation of you and your friendship and the hope you bring me. And I love your confidence that all will be well, no matter what. I share that conviction with you, completely. I am just happy that it is what it is now.....and it is nothing short of wonderful!
As for how can I write about you so well??? I have asked the same about you. And the only conclusion I can come to is that we both learned the same amazing life lessons, and as a result we know ourselves better than before, we know what really matters to us. These 100+ emails have shown me time and again that you are on my page EXACTLY, so I can now confidently write the desires of my heart and know that it is something we share. I am both writing what I think is the ideal, and knowing at the same time that you either already live that ideal or share it for the future. So how do I write about you so well (and vice verse)...it's easy, I look into my soul and just spell it out.
I can only assume that your silence today means you've had a wonderful time with your family in Chicago. And to that I say, good for you. I hope your time in Chicago serves to recharge your batteries and ground you to those who mean so much and have been such a great support to you. I know that's how I'd feel if I was with my family.
May your day be filled with smiles and thoughts of me!
I would have FOR SURE written you earlier but my phone battery died earlier today while we were out in Chicago. We ended up on a bus coming home (just now) and I was sooooo antsy to get off that thing to get home faster. We were in traffic, etc., and I just knew I could walk faster. My mom thought I was ridiculous but I just couldn’t wait to get off that thing and get to you on this gmail!
I always wish I could respond to every single thing you write.....because it all just speaks to me. I cannot believe what you wrote about how you look into your soul while writing to me. I feel I am doing the same. ahhh... so beautiful. This really is a rare moment of time....I have never felt this kind of connection with someone.
Btw, I was so taken back by your list of things that you love about me that I read it to my Mom.....she just laughed and laughed and shook her head with each one and just said, yep...yep... that's you alright. Anyway, it's seriously cool that we really are getting to know each other quite well. I try to imagine seeing you in person and visualizing what you look like. And of course I wonder, what will I say? What will I wear? Will we feel comfortable? Will anything be not as you envisioned? Will you be ok with my serious/practical side? Will I have a hard time putting myself out there in person as I have so easily done by email? How will I possibly hold back from kissing you? :) Anyway, all fun things. Can you believe that we get to see this all unfold in less than a week now. ahhhh.....yes.....butterflies. But I just need to re-read your calming emails again and again (which I really will be doing :)
Mara, so happy to hear from you (and that you're notably happy talking and thinking about me...I'm flattered and thrilled I'm not the only one...my friends keep commenting on that I'm even more cheerful than normal). And, in case it needs to be said, I'm happy you're alive too!!!
And, I just laugh at the fact that you'd rather get out of the bus because walking/running will get you in contact with me sooner than that dreaded bus....I know that feeling all too well.
I too think about about what I will wear and say, will I be shaking, will I come off as supremely confident because of this amazing connection that has already been made, or will I spend the first half hour nearly speechless in your presence. (will I still even smell good after a day of work and a 4-5 hour bus ride??? You at least get to freshen up right before I arrive...lucky!) One thing I know, nothing will be able to wipe the smile off my face at finally being able to meet you and at least wrap my arms around you and thank you for everything that you've done for me already. Will I be nervous, shy, possibly speechless...sure...I might be all of those. But more than anything, I will be happy. Of that I am certain. My goodness it is approaching so quickly, yet not soon enough.
Goodnight my dear!
Funny that we are both worrying about meeting. Let me just say that I am not worried about YOU at ALL. Seriously. I'm just worried about ME. You could be shaking, speechless, smell like a bus and weigh 500 lbs and I would still just love you. And yes, if I am not fresh as a daisy when I meet you, well, it will be because I got hit by a car or something. I'll be freshening up for 24 hours straight. And shy, um... yes. I will likely be very shy. Dang it! So please ignore that, ok? Cause deep down I'll just want to chat away with you and be around you to soak it all in, but I maybe won't be able to actually speak to tell you any of this. So I hope that we can just plow through until we feel as comfortable in each other's presence as we are when we write. And yes, it feels like it's coming so soon... yet it also feels like ages away....like every hour is a long wait.