I think it's safe to say that every person wants to feel that way.
And I also think a lot of women out there struggle with this in their marriages and sex lives.
I wasn't always in a place where I could feel desirable, wanted or worthy.
But now that I have learned a thing or two, I can't help but be bold and pass on some of my thoughts, in case any of this might be helpful. Here goes...
1. LOOKING SEXY HAS NOTHING ON ACTUALLY FEELING SEXY.
I think one problem is that a lot of people *think* looking sexy is what would lead to more confidence or enjoyment in bed....or it's what would lead to feeling more desirable.
One might think - - - oh, if I could lose 20 lbs, then maybe I'd enjoy sex with my husband a little more. Or if I could just get a boob job, I'd feel more confident in my body. Or if I could just look like THAT woman, well, I would feel better about myself. There are probably a million excuses why people put off a better sex life (or any sex life at all).....because they think it's related to their looks.
Well, I'd like to suggest to women everywhere that we need to get this out of our heads, because it isn't true.
You could look airbrushed and tan out of a beach fashion shoot, but if you don't FEEL good about yourself, it just won't matter. I know plenty of women who look like bombshells but they still don't feel sexy & confident.
So even though it may be hard for some to do, my wish for women everywhere is that we could not base our confidence & worth on waistlines & body types.
2. WE ARE WOMEN! WE ARE SEXY JUST BY BEING A WOMAN! :) :)
Most men are wired to desire a woman. We are desirable by our very natures! *LET'S OWN IT!* It's so sad that we don't. It causes so much havoc in our brains...and between the sheets. (And by the way, even if you're married to someone who is not in a healthy place in life & will never respond favorably to you no matter what you do, you can still tap into your own worth and have that confidence for yourself, regardless.)
3. FEELING SEXY IS NECESSARY FOR GREAT SEX.
Feeling good about yourself (as a woman) goes really, really far when it comes to having satisfying sex. Feeling embarrassed or insecure or muddling your mind with negative thoughts about yourself before & during sex will not do you any good. It leaves no room in your mind for the thoughts that lead to a real bond with your partner.
In the meantime, what do you guys think about this? Do you think focusing on feeling good about yourself (separate from your looks) could improve your sex life?