Come Hither Haiku

One of my dear friends is bold & brave & authentic.  And so I guess it shouldn’t shock me that she asked me this:  “Will you do a post about how to keep the spark alive?”  She continued… “You know, it’s just easy to get in a rut.”
YES, my dear friend.  I will share some ideas.  Afterall, this is {A Blog About Love}…and it’s February.  And what couple wouldn’t appreciate some ideas?  πŸ™‚
So to make this even more fun, I involved two of my favorite friends:  Koseli Cummings & Linsey Laidlaw.  Koseli is a copywrighter from Kos&Co & Inadvertent Haiku.  Normally she turns the day’s dispatches into neatly packaged haiku on her blog…summing up culture and current affairs in just 17 syllables.  But today, she is a poet turned sex writer (ha!), giving us sex tips in playful haiku.  πŸ™‚  And Linsey, one of my talented graphic designer friends, joined in to make these look festive & beautiful enough to print!  I wish she could design everything in my life.
Presenting – Sexy Love Tips in Seventeen Syllables…. 

See here for more Haiku + a link where you can download & PRINT these to use as Valentine’s gifts.

Here’s how to make gooood use of these tips, if you know what I mean πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰
1.  Download & print your own “Come Hither Haiku” here.
2.  Cut the cards into handy business card sizes.
3.  Then take your pick:
-Tuck the cards into every slot in your husband’s wallet.
-Or buy some of these cutie pie envelopes.
-Tuck into his coat jackets, pants or socks.
-Buy a cute little box and fill it with the cards.  Tie with a bow. 
-Tape one or all of them on the mirror on Valentine’s morning.
-Use each card to wrap small gifts or clip each one to a photo.
-Create a sex advent calendar & reveal a card each day!  (or all in one night, if you prefer πŸ™‚
-Save them & use as a countdown to a special occasion like an anniversary.
-Create a little garland with the cards & use at your Valentine’s celebration.
Naughty Haiku
I coo Haiku
Hot haiku
Naughty Sweetie Haiku.
Tips to Get Hot and Botheredβ€”And Like It
Never Too Late To Feel Great
Now for your turn….what do you guys do to keep the spark alive?  Do tell!  Anonymous comments welcome πŸ™‚  AND – – a really fun bonus…. Koseli has offered to pick her two favorite tips listed by readers and she’ll write some more Haiku for us to be shared on Valentine’s Day.  I can’t wait!

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  1. jen February 10, 2012 at 7:08 pm - Reply

    love these! so fun (and yet full of things we need to hear/do more often)!

    i work from home full-time, so whenever my husband finds himself also working from home we make sure to schedule a "conference call" or take full advantage of the hour long lunch break! πŸ˜‰

  2. jo February 10, 2012 at 7:28 pm - Reply

    This is just too coincidental not to tell you! I grew up in the same neighborhood as Danny, and Koseli is my brother-in-law's sister! You hang with some awesome peeps, if I may say so.

    And thank you for your blog. Inspiring.

  3. lisset February 10, 2012 at 7:47 pm - Reply

    these gave me a chuckle. funny, funny. thanks for the giggle.

    we realized long ago that waiting for that loving feeling to take us over spontaneously at the end of an exhausting day just wasn't going to happen often enough what with life! so now we plan. that may not sound terribly romantic, but it really is no different than when you're dating and you plan ahead to have legs shaved, hair done, etc. etc. to wow your honey. it's nice to have those days on the calendar so that even when we are staying in (wink) i take the extra time to care for myself, put on a little make up, and freshen up. does wonders for the libido. otherwise my husband would probably only see me in work out clothes and my hair in a pony! kids will do that to you πŸ™‚

  4. Karen February 10, 2012 at 8:05 pm - Reply

    Hai-koochie – LOL!!

    I'm still figuring out how to reignite the spark with two young kiddos requiring so much of my attention, so much of the time! So I appreciate all these ideas!

  5. Koseli Cummings February 10, 2012 at 8:24 pm - Reply

    It was so much fun collaborating with you and Linsey, Mara! Hope we all get a big kick out of these, share them with the people we love, and put them to good use.

    Yep, we're going to be picking the two best thoughts/tips from you dear readers and turning those into two more haiku. So if you want your tip on a haiku card, comment away. πŸ™‚ Let's make it an even 14 Tips in honor of Love Day. Can't wait to see what the rest of the readers' creative tips and thoughts are….

  6. Anonymous February 10, 2012 at 9:45 pm - Reply

    put in the calendar πŸ˜‰ After seeing some lady who wrote a book about deciding to have sex every day we tried it.. by 3 weeks we were exhausted (parents of four young children πŸ˜‰ so we decided that every 2/3rd day was best for us. We dont stick to it religiously but its nice to kinda have an 'outline' for when to get busy.. and it makes you think of it all day and perhaps 'prepare' yourself a little.

    my husband and I flirt alot with eachother. I'm nearly always in the kitchen and he always squeezes my butt, kisses me, dips me, I think our kids think we are gross, but I think it is important for them to see that their parents love each other ALOT. They can feel safe in the knowledge and its good for them to see adults that love eachother and respect eachother. So make for a little flirting. I really does matter.

    Same to the person above who stated 'conference calls and long lunches' it is so much more enjoyable to not wait till very late at night when we are tired… this week the husband was home and most of our kids at school, just had to put the little one down for a nap and it was a long lunch for us πŸ˜‰

    I've also found you get better with age… ours got really good and fulfilling about at 10 years of marriage. (TMI if I say I can orgasm 98% of the time now compared to like 50% before??) (and after all those babies werent little boob sucking leeches) we have it down pat on how to make each other and ourselves feel really good… so keep going if you arent there yet πŸ˜‰

    • Anonymous February 11, 2012 at 1:01 am - Reply

      Not TMI in the least! I think it's important for people to know that it gets better with age and with how well you get to know each other. We flirt in the kitchen a good deal, too. And it's not uncommon for us to put on a movie for the little ones on a Saturday and steal away to another room…

      The best way for me to keep the spark alive is to shave my legs. I know it sounds silly, but I am not one of those hairless creatures. My legs are ridiculous after a day or two of not shaving. And super hairy legs make you feel completely NOT-sexy (regardless of whether the hubby cares). So if I keep my legs shaved and run around in a pair of cute boy-short panties, it's guaranteed to light a spark in me and him. But with working full time and having 2 kids under the age of 2 who need to get to daycare in the morning, shaving is not exactly a priority when we're rushed. So, unfortunately, I have to actually make a serious effort to feel sexy and light that spark.

    • lisset February 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm - Reply

      I completely, completely agree that it gets better with time or age. I never would have imagined that it could (since it was pretty great/fun from the start), but boy has it! I remember my mom telling me to just hold on to my hat when I was first married and I thought she was nuts. Sex like a fine wine? Better with age? I just didn't think so. But you were right mom! Again πŸ™‚

  7. Xoxo ☺ February 10, 2012 at 9:54 pm - Reply

    Lol! Funny thanks for sharing! Xo

  8. sf February 10, 2012 at 11:17 pm - Reply

    That's so fantastically creative, Mara, Koseli and Linsey! LOOOVE it!

  9. Anonymous February 11, 2012 at 1:44 am - Reply

    Lingerie, hair down, chapstick and favorite perfume. It's all about making yourself feel pretty and loved THEN giving. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  10. Sarah's Fab Day February 11, 2012 at 1:48 am - Reply

    These are awesome! Everyone needs a little reminder.

  11. Bri!!! February 11, 2012 at 2:22 am - Reply

    Our sure day is Sunday! We have early church, and our son is still taking long naps so our favorite day to have sex is Sunday afternoon! Love it! We find time during the week too, but it's harder. I agree with the shaving making a difference, and not just legs;-).

    • Anonymous February 11, 2012 at 4:01 am - Reply

      Agreed. πŸ˜‰

  12. maggie@septemberrust February 11, 2012 at 3:05 am - Reply

    i just hoppened to come across your blog, i love it!. i featured it on my blog, thanks for the tips…i know i could use them πŸ™‚

  13. Anonymous February 11, 2012 at 4:18 am - Reply

    We loved it when it would be the end of the year. We would put a movie on and lock the door and tell the kids not to come near we were talking about Christmas presents. Funny thing is my 3rd ended up being due a week before Christmas!

  14. Anonymous February 11, 2012 at 4:23 am - Reply

    I like to occasionally do something different, like come in the room just wearing an apron (a really cute one from Anthropologie). Or once I had cheap underthings and gave him markers for some "art" time. Whipped cream… Or just a lingerie show.

    It's true you get better with age, experience and learning to tell what you need.

  15. Anonymous February 11, 2012 at 9:23 am - Reply

    I remember seeing that sex therapist on Oprah and she described Men as a Microwave oven and women as a slow burning oven! (on average it takes men 5 mins to get to orgasm and women 15-20 mins) ONCE you have that time difference sorted and understand it and how to both be at the same point at the same time Everything is So much better! worked a treat for us and not disappointment for 'not keeping up with my husband' and now he understands this and is very helpful in preparing me.

  16. Cristi February 11, 2012 at 1:28 pm - Reply

    I am a new follower and found your blog through my little sister Bianca Merkley…Loving this idea!!!

  17. rebecca February 11, 2012 at 5:11 pm - Reply

    ok, i love the anon comment about the anthro apron. awesome.

    great collaboration mara. πŸ™‚

  18. Anonymous February 13, 2012 at 3:27 am - Reply

    We have been married almost 14 years and 3 boys later, I agree with the comment about intimacy just getting better and better over time. TMI ahead, but here are some specific things we do that keep the spark alive in our marriage.
    We like to keep things spicy by being willing to try new things as well as locations. πŸ™‚ We like to explore different areas of the house including our back deck and parked cars in the garage. (Got caught once by the 6 year old in the mini van!) We flirt and kiss A LOT in front of our kids, they pretend to be grossed out but are always smiling and saying things like "Mom and Dad are kissing again!"

    Other ideas we like to implement are turning on a black light wearing white lingerie and drawing on each other with higlighter markers (where you write glows in the dark) strip teases, and landscaping/manscaping don't hurt either!!!

  19. Anonymous February 14, 2012 at 5:45 pm - Reply

    Thanks for this! It's inspiring to read these comments. I wanted to write because when I read comments like the above ones about couples with robust sex lives and healthy relationships my first instinct is to be a little jealous. I've not always had that.

    Perhaps this is TMI in a different way… In my marriage, we have had big ups and downs. There were times when our intimate life was stale for MONTHS because I was just not feeling it, and it was so discouraging for him, especially. (*I tricked myself into thinking maybe I was just not a sexual person but I think it was just post-partum issues/marriage issues/depression). As those issues improved, and we worked on our relationship, our sex life has returned (and waned, and returned again) and I agree with the comments above about it getting better over time. I never used to have the big O – which is one of the reasons I was quick to give up on sex when our relationship faltered – and faked it a lot, thinking I just couldn't have one. Now, with age or wisdom or just bullheadedness, I am: 1. less willing to put myself second, and 2. way more physically able to have the big O! Weird. I don't know if it's psychological, physical changes after two children or what, but I'll take it.
    So, we are definitely getting there!! And if anyone out there reading has been in my position, I hope they too, can have hope that their relationship can improve, that intimacy – just like other parts of a relationship – is a living organism that can grow, change, adapt and be altered by you. If you invest in your sex life, it will probably pay off.

  20. Rik February 14, 2012 at 7:19 pm - Reply

    Before I got married, my sister recommended this book to me – it's called The Act of Marriage.

    It's totally a sex book, but considering I was a virgin and really had no idea how it all worked, this was a great book! I really love a lot that the book talks about. We still didn't know what we were doing the first time, but the honeymoon was great practice. πŸ™‚ It totally has gotten better and better!

  21. Anonymous March 8, 2012 at 10:53 pm - Reply

    I've been browsing through your blog and loving it, and I couldn't resist commenting on this one.
    My husband and I are big fans of "maintenance sex." We don't think of it as a negative thing– after all, you keep up with the maintenance on a car if you want it to keep running, right?
    We have sex every day (missing only rarely when we're sick or desperately, desperately tired–and sometimes we still end up having "sleepy sex"). There are definitely days that the sex is "normal" and not the most "exciting," but hey, it's sex!
    Gotta mention before I finish here, sex can also be wonderful for mending hurt feelings. We never argue or fight, but sometimes we just can't seem to shake off some moodiness. Sex is magic for fixing our attitudes.
    We are a very happy couple. And sex is a HUGE part of it.

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