10 February 2012

Celebrate Who You Are


With Valentine's Day upon us, I am guessing there are so many that are longing to be loved by someone & to just HAVE someone in their lives....

I have been there.  

It makes me want to write lots on this subject.  

But for now, I have a letter that one of our readers shared with me.  She's a mother.  It's a letter that she wrote to her own 20 year-old daughter, who is a junior in college.  This note is lovely.  It's a beautiful message for us all to hear.  I thank her for letting me share it here.  


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Hi there babe-

I want to share a blog with you that I adore and I think you will too.  Here are 2 posts she’s written (here & here) that I think you’ll appreciate.  And after you read them take a look around her blog at her.  She has been through some “stuff” yet has come out the other side.

My point?  I know you joke about being “alone” and never finding someone.  I cannot (and would never) promise you that you will meet the right person.  Ever.  And even if I did (and you DID!) – I couldn’t promise you that it would last.  Look at me/all the other women you know who have been divorced.

What I CAN promise you is this – the “joking” can quickly become how you are defined.  Hard-shelled, closed off, defensive.  Protective.  And if that happens then you will definitely not find that person because you will be too shut off to let him in.

Nothing would make me happier than knowing that you are working to get to a place where being YOU – the beautiful, gorgeous, smart, funny, fabulous, kind, talented, ambitious YOU – is fabulous all on her own.  Then – and only then – will you be living a truly happy life.  And that aura will be projected out into the world.  And when the stars align and “he” and you are in the right place, right time, you will be open and ready.  Even better, you will be so “just fine and dandy” all on your own.  Which is how you should be whether you are with someone or not.  Because then you will be bringing the best of you to that relationship, as opposed to waiting for that someone to define you.

I hope to meet Mara someday and would love for you to meet her, too.  I think she is an amazing example of the kind of woman we should all aspire to.

Just like you.

Love you,
xoxo
 
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I hope everyone can feel their worth this month  - - even as roses are being delivered to friends & date nights are being planned.   If you don't have a date lined up, do something special for yourself.  Enjoy the night with girlfriends or family.  And celebrate who you are!!!! 

Any ideas for what you did or will do to enjoy Valentine's Day as a single person?

P.S.  I'll have another post up later today, so I hope you'll come back for more.  It's one of my favorite posts yet.  :)

14 comments:

  1. I honestly don't remember my single days too much but if I were single this Valentines this is what I would do; get my best friends together and throw a party either making valentines, or just eating and chatting. Also treat yourself, I almost always buy myself some type of accessory or clothing and save it for the 14th. It seems to just make my day a little better. I love Valentine's day, I wish more people did. Because its not just a day to love your spouse, its an excuse to tell everyone in your life you love them. Finally call your grandma or whoever and tell them. I seriously think my sister tells my once a year on a valentine card and it great she can do that once a year!
    Anyways just my two cents, I love your blog its wonderful!
    Jilleun Jasperson

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  2. What a perfect letter! As for Valentine's Day...I'm happily married, and a happy mom and I'm sure there will be a few Valentine's coming up in our mix, but what to give myself? I did happen to get a lovely bright green shirt yesterday! Happy Valentine's Day to Me!

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  3. I love that letter! What a wonderful and sweet way to empower her daughter. I just love your blog and all your positive messages. Keep it up :)
    Kim

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  4. my best friend and i always got together on Valentine's Day in college to celebrate together and buy something red to wear. this year i'm doing a girlfriend's lunch and then probably something low-key with the husband that evening. but i agree wholly with the letter above. you can't find the best person for you until you are your best person!

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  5. I'm married but my husband will be out of town on V-Day. I am determined to find someone else out there who needs a little love- and maybe ice cream will be invovled.

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  6. I love this woman's letter. Being confident and happy in ourselves is so important. This year on Valentine's Day I'll be at a women's support group meeting, and I couldn't be happier. What better way to celebrate the day of love than learning to love ourselves and heal? I'll celebrate with my husband this weekend, but I've decided not to skip the meeting on Valentine's Day since (the way I see it) that meeting is helping our love for each other grow stronger. But I just might hide a sweet note in his pocket as he leaves for work. :)

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  7. My favorite Valentine's day ever was one when I was single and sad (I had just ended a very serious relationship). My dear friend told me that she always thought of Valentine's Day simply as a day to celebrate love. Not just romantic love but love of all kinds. We got gussied up and went to a nice dinner and then saw Sleeping Beauty. It was a magical and fun day spent with people I loved.

    Now that I am married with kids, I still make it a day about love. We throw a cookie decorating party with friends - we pass out Valentine's we put together. We have a big fun breakfast together and we have a special dinner all together as a family. We try to do service and think about our friends and the Savior and all the things we love. My husband and I usually go out to the opera and dinner or the ballet or something around Valentine's day, but never on it. I want my kids to know Valentine's day is about all the love we have in our hearts.

    I love Valentine's Day and that lesson I learned while single.

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  8. For my single person Valentine's day, I'm going to do something that I love to do. Kinda a day of loving myself! [After a loooong day of work] I'll treat myself to non-fat-free ice cream and a movie that I love. I'll end the day feeling happy and confident that someday I'll be spending that day with a husband - maybe doing an activity that I don't enjoy as much, but loving it anyway because he is happy.

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  9. I would probably spend valentine in bed...or better still do something nice for someone who has nothing. Over all I'm going to make sure it is totally worth it. Follow my blog and check out my post on Valentine Fever- http://www.dekkygurl.com/2012/02/valentine-fever.html

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  10. What a beautiful letter! I'm bookmarking it so that I can read it again when I'm feeling like I'll be alone forever.

    My roommates and I are going to throw a Valentine's Day cocktail party for our friends to get together. We may not all have significant others but we love each other. Why not celebrate that?

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  11. Mara, you are an absolute gem! I met you very briefly at Alt on Friday night. My friends and I had been admiring your beautiful red/orange dress all night and finally told you so. You were so warm and open and I've been meaning to explore your blog ever since. I was reminded by SimpleLovely. So happy I found you again. Thank you for your honesty (I just read your post about divorce) and I can't tell you how inspired and hopeful I feel as a result of your story. Thank you. I hope you are having an absolutely lovely weekend.

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  12. Wow, Mara! This is incredible. How blessed you must feel to be able to share and move others with your experiences the way you are on here! I posted a comment several posts back about my moving to New York this year, and here I am again, I can't help but to celebrate you and your STELLAR contribution to the people.

    You definitely have an avid reader here, and I think like many other women, I would feel so pleased to have the opportunity to meet you. I might just have to take you up on your "offer" when I arrive to the city!

    xoxo
    Jen

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  13. As a 31 year old, single, never-married woman, I appreciate this letter so much and have to thank you for posting it. Having faced the reality that I may never marry, but not having given up on finding that kind of love, I have finally arrived at my "fabulous me all on my own." It was my Valentine's Day epiphany -- a gift to me from me that's been a long time coming and I hope that more women come to realize what a fulfilling place it is.

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  14. Mara! I'm catching up on your blog, as it's been a while - and just saw my letter and the lovely comments that followed. Thank you so much for posting it! I can't wait to share this with Chelsea (who is one of your biggest fans now too!) xo

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