For anyone new to the 'Love Story' posts, Danny & I were set up by a friend by email. We started writing each other and within one day, we were dying over the words on the screen. We could tell we were speaking the same language. We spent the next 3 weeks writing our hearts & souls out to one another before meeting. We didn't text, skype, or even speak on the phone. These are the continuation of some of the letters that unfolded...
I never realized how natural and great it could feel to be with someone that had been married before (I have not yet dated a divorced guy). I am shocked, actually, at how natural and REAL & BETTER this feels. This last year I have caught myself thinking that even though the divorce was a trial that I wouldn’t trade (because of the personal deliverance I was able to experience) I still thought that maybe it would be best to marry someone who hadn't been married before….just so I could carry on and feel “normal”. I hate to admit it now, but I just didn’t think the chances were very high that I could meet a divorced person that wasn’t bitter or didn’t just dwell in negativity. I guess I just didn’t know too many divorced people that were open about what a lifechanging/sanctifying experience it was for them. Ok, as I am writing this, it sounds so ridiculous. I feel badly that I thought that because there are so many good people out there! Luckily, I was actually realizing that my thoughts were off base right before meeting you. That very week, I started to tell my friends that I was thinking that maybe I should hope for divorced guy to come along....because I thought they just might have a better perspective on life. And then out of the blue, you came along. And, well, Danny, I have been COMPLETELY put in my place. It turns out that with you, I feel MORE at peace with myself and my life and my past and everything. This feels sooo wholesome and natural and good...and it's because we've both been through this and both have come out the other side so much better for it. Turns out I LIKE it that you've had another wife, that you've gone through trials, that you have experience with intimacy, that you know what is really important, that you know what it's like to be a husband, etc. I welcome it all!! You are seriously the greatest catch I could ever dream up....
This really is wonderful, isn’t it? Giddy, happy, full, peaceful, savoring every moment…..ahhhhhh.
By the way, back to the Kofoed women…..if you get a chance to meet my sisters and my mom, you are just going to love them! They are the very best, and have always been my role models for what I would look for in a good woman. Anyway, if this keeps going, you would gain two best friends who share your outlook on life and happiness, your drive to be a good wife and mother, and above all things, to embrace all that life has to offer. And my Mom? Let’s just say that my Mom and I seem to share a brain…it’s been fascinating to learn how similar our thoughts have been over this last year during my many conversations with her.
We are very lucky, aren’t we! Once I realized my marriage was over, one of the first thoughts that popped in my mind was “boy was I potentially wrong about divorced people….I hope people won’t carry against me some of the same prejudices I just might have carried if the roles were reversed.” Anyway, yes, this is wonderful, and natural, and sooooo goooooood. It couldn’t possibly be this way if we didn’t share in this experience. I, too, thought there was a slim chance of finding someone that had gone through what I’d been through, and yet still felt the way I feel. I had written off the idea that I might find someone like you. I couldn’t have ever dreamed that anything would be like this! EVER! You, my dear, are the greatest catch.
Oh, Danny, waking up to your emails is simply a bit of heaven.
Your family sounds WONDERFUL! I am sure I would love them. Ahhh….isn’t it a blessing? I don’t know what I’d do this last year without my family. My parents just came through for me in all the right ways. Even now they offer the most solid advice, always. They are truly good people. And even in my weak moments of sadness (or fury! ha!) they consistently got me back on the right track within a minute of talking to them.
About divorce….I never thought in a million years that it would happen to ME. But it did. And one of the benefits of it is it has given me sooo much more compassion for people everywhere, especially anyone who has faced a trial of any kind. I have hope for all of them. I am the biggest fan of every person in the world. I KNOW that every single person alive has the power to change and to really find some peace. If I can get there, I know others can, too. It’s my prayer that everyone (including our former spouses) will reach a point of peace in their lives, though I realize that it sometimes takes a while to get there as we are all on a different path. (It took me 30 years or so!) I am just all too excited that I have met you….as I feel that by some miracle, we are on the same path!!!!! It’s a beautiful road, isn’t it? I would love to share the rest of this journey with you… I am so hoping that we can.
You’re in my thoughts always,
Okay, I held off as long as I could….time to write you! Yes, these emails are a slice of heaven. I think that’s why I’m addicted to them. I’ll have to make this short (that’s what I tell myself every time.)
I think my opinion about divorced people changed when I had a friend of mine go through exactly what I ended up going through one year after him. I knew him to be an outstanding man, and he'd shared his story with me, and I was just heart broken for him. Then the identical circumstances happened to me. He was the first person I called to lay it all out to and ask his advice. He'd made so much progress since the last year, that I just knew that I could do it, too; that I'd be alright. However, I never thought I'd be THIS alright. I just won't be able to stop thanking you, dear Mara. And I just love that the emptiness hasn't been filled by just another body. I haven't even seen you or touched you yet…there's nothing physical here so I know I’m not hanging on to this cause it "just feels good". It isn't about that. This connection is spiritual. It’s at the core of who we are. You’re right, this is quite simply a little miracle in which our two paths have crossed, which maybe shouldn't be so surprising considering we've been walking the same road. I'm not entirely sure I would have called the road beautiful before (a little perspective always manages to change that), but it certainly has been since you started to accompany me. It's all worth it! Thank you!
(Okay, so I just had to go make copies of something and my boss caught me with way too big of a smile on my face as I was walking through the hall and he said "It can't be that funny Danny…" haha! If only he knew!)
Okay, must go now...and yes, as evidenced by my parenthetical above, you, too, are always in my thoughts.
Photos are by Peter Mercado & we think he did a great job!
(He was one of the photographers in the Jonathan Canlas
(He was one of the photographers in the Jonathan Canlas