Today, I'm thinking more about having a baby than usual.
It feels good.
Sometimes I worry that I have lost the giddy excitement of it all, you know?
So I really welcome the moments when my heart longs for it or flutters a wee bit when I think of
having a little Danny Kofoed running around my apartment with straight, bouncy hair (you should see how straight and bouncy Danny's hair is without his man wax.) I still have some hope that it might happen.
In the meantime, I have enjoyed going through these infertility treatments now & in the recent past. I know you must think I am crazy cause I just said that. But I really mean it....even with every clomid pill, injection, blood test, temperature reading, ultrasound, homeopathic drop, Chinese tea, Bodytalk session and meditation.
You see, it's a privilege to really be trying for a baby at all.
It's a privilege to be married - let alone to the best husband ever who wants to be a parent with me & who thinks that I'll be a good mother!! (Best feeling in the world!!) It's a privilege to have the means to carry out some medical and holistic treatments. It's a privilege to be developing more and more as a woman each and every month that it doesn't work out. I have some very aggressive medical treatments ahead (actually much more aggressive than IVF). But I really couldn't be more grateful for this experience. And even if I sometimes forget about the end result of snuggling a tiny little baby (because it seems so far off), for now, just the process of it all makes me giddy. Cause it's progress in more ways than one. :)
(Photo above is Danny. When I went to Salt Lake to visit Danny's parents for the very first time, Danny's mom put this photo in my room so I could see a baby picture of him. I hadn't seen any until then. I snatched a picture of it. Boy oh boy, that cute, smiling face & happy eyes just about do me in.)
What character or physical trait did you (do you) most enjoy about your children?