|Photo I took on the tenth anniversary of 9/11, from the Brooklyn Heights Promenade.|
In the weeks and months and years (!) that followed 9/11, I found myself with some anxiety that I never had had before. I feared death. I feared losing my first husband. I feared dying too young and missing out on this great life. And mostly, I feared getting blown up by a suicide bomber on my way to work. As authorities announced the "red alerts" on the news & reported on specific chatter from terrorists regarding another possible attack on New York, I became increasingly full of more anxiety. It was just more apparent than ever that life was precious - that life could end at any time. This carried over to my experiences while flying & driving. Flying became crippling to me. Tears, shaking, sweaty palms, terror at every sound and bump. The entire flight I would be thinking...What was that? Is something is wrong? Why hasn't the pilot announced that all is well? That guy has been in the bathroom WAY too long! It was terrifying & excruciating to get through flights. One day I had to fly to Rome out of JFK, with my boss - - and it happened to be the day after a liquid bomb was found on that Heathrow flight. This was day 1 of no liquids allowed on planes. Can you imagine? I really thought I was going to die.
Clearly, this was all before I figured out what life was all about. This was before I embraced every-dang- inch-of-life...the good and the bad. This was before I learned how to truly live with real peace and real happiness - - - the kind of happiness that is not dependent on circumstances.
Once I began to realize that trials in life are FOR OUR GOOD and that I could quite deliberately embrace them instead of fearing them..... ALL OF MY FEARS MELTED AWAY. I am telling you, they literally evaporated. All of them. It was remarkable. And nearly immediate. This is when I started to truly realize the POWER that I had within me. I finally embraced this kick butt thing that I never really thought about much before called the Plan of Happiness [which states that trials are a part of this life so that we can have opportunities to learn and grow and to become at one with God and his ways.] Guys, in case you think this is crazy, religious or not, just give this concept a try cause it works for anyone. Or find your own source of strength and power. I am telling you, it will change your life. Since that day that I finally decided to just try it, I have been a changed woman. I have not had anxiety about dying - - not even once! I no longer have ANY anxiety or fear while flying. I don't fear cancer. I don't fear my husband dying. I don't even fear giving birth to an unhealthy baby or to no baby at all. Cause I now know that I can face anything that comes my way. I am telling you that the peace is so all encompassing and so complete. It affects me every single moment, every day.................I couldn't be more grateful. And I just have to tell every single one of you, that you are capable of this, too.
Love to all,