08 December 2011

Being a Blogger Wife

(Photo by Jonathan Canlas)
Blogging really is something else.
I had NO idea.   Haha.

Here are a few things I have come to realize:

a.  Blogs most likely take WAY more time than you would think. 
b.  I did not go to the high school that teaches HTML.
c.  People are so lovely I could just die.

and

d.  Blogging affects your marriage... :)


Now, I am a lucky blogger wife.  And it's because my husband is equally committed to sharing the goods with as many people as we can.  You should see him helping me with posts when I need advice.  He always has the best eye for words.  But...I have to watch it.  Cause my husband is hard at work with his job and so I can't bug him too much.  But I suppose if we were making big bucks off this (ha!), I could convince him to join me full time.  haha. [Goal:  Figure out how to make big bucks ;) ]

And, you should see how cute Danny is when new comments come in.  He melts just like me.  And often times [most of the time] he is the one that is commenting back to our lovely readers and putting his two bits in [um, you should see his comments.  They are sometimes as long as my way-too-long posts!  haha.  But they are worth GOLD.  Love every word he says.]

SO, we're lucky.  Blogging has been a fun project that we both get to work on.  And we get to share so many of the things that we learned individually and now apply to our lives & our marriage.  This blog has enriched our lives more than we ever could have imagined.  It's one of the greatest little projects we've had. 

Here are the downsides.  Not many:

1.  We really aren't the type to put photos out there.  And now, oh crap, they are out there!  haha.  But what is a blog without photos?   So we are trying to be photo blogging people to help tell our story.  But that's a stretch for us.  So I am normally scrounging for photos.  And I have to do that part alone, cause Danny is most definitely not into putting his photos on blogs.  hahaha.  I now know not to bug him with questions like..."Mmm, which photo do you like better, my dear?"  Let's just say my news junkie husband would rather be reading the news.  :)

2.  Sometimes we are internet zombies.  I have to watch it.  And so sometimes as we are sitting, writing, photo-ing, twittering, pinter- hypnotizing, or html cursing, I will look at my handsome husband and say......SHALL WE WATCH A MOVIE??  MAKE POPCORN??  DANCE AROUND THE HOUSE??  Or sometimes he says, WANT TO UM, TAKE A LITTLE "BREAK"?  And I say YES, PLEASE :) :) 

3.  About 5 times I have still been up blogging when my husband has crawled into bed.  That's bad news.  I normally don't go for that.  No, not one bit!  I looooove hanging with my husband in bed before we go to sleep.   He reads.  I bury my face in his side & smile.  And we pray together.  And we talk about our day.  And we seek inspiration for our lives & share a lot of love with each other.  So I really, really try to say HASTA LA VISTA to this screen the minute my husband goes to brush his teeth.  Cause I don't want to miss a drop of that good stuff.....

4.  This house is a WRECK.  Haha.  Back to making the big bucks:  I need a housekeeper.  :)  Cause I want to blog my heart out to you all instead of cleaning up dishes & folding laundry.   You big bloggers - - You MUST have housekeepers, right?  If you don't, how on EARTH??  Anyway, I try to do my best to keep this place in order.  Luckily Danny knows I'm busily working on good things.  And so between the two of us, we have our little "30 minute clean-up" nights.  Sometimes we do it before watching a movie.  We blast some music and do some quick clean-ups - - and it's actually fun. 

5.  Danny does not like Twitter.  At first I wasn't a huge fan, either.  But I decided to get over it cause it was a good way to just do more of what I'm doing on the blog.  And now I see that's it's pretty cool.  But in our little household, Twitter is not something we chat about.......hahha.  I know it's not a Danny thing, so I keep Twitter chat to my little self (& my lovely followers...um, still can't believe I actually have followers :)

Now, I am so very curious....How has blogging affected your marriage?  :)

Is your spouse into what you are doing?  Does he/she advise you, take your photos, edit, etc.?  Does it annoy them if you obsess about posts or photos or what you're wearing on the way to the picking-up-a-Christmas-tree photo shoot?  Do they feel neglected because of your blog?  Have they become a business partner of sorts (do they take on some of the blogging duties behind the scenes?)  Do they get excited & proud when encouraging comments & emails come rolling on in?

I'm just so excited to hear about the spouses behind the blogs 
& how the blog has affected your marriage! 


XO,

Mara

24 comments:

  1. My husband is super supportive, and from day one has been my number one fan & reader! He checks it at work & loves when he hasn't seen a post and is surprised. He always reads the comments & gets excited with me, and understands the need to capture a lot of what we do. He says he loves it because he is learning more about me still, after 4 years! Make she love him (and blogging) all the more. :)

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  2. I have a very small blog - mostly family read it - but I have quite a few subscribers that don't comment. So I try to keep it up nicely and do get a little carried away at times at home... :) My husband is great, though, and is SO into the blog! Maybe more than I am! He designed it, he's constantly checking stats, etc. It's adorable.

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  3. I used to have a crafty creative blog and have now switched to a mum/ life blog. I don't have a very big readership, but I know it's because I'm not putting as much effort into it yet as perhaps I should. Part of that is due to the PC being in the office, which is in a different building on the other side of the garden. It's being moved into the house Saturday week and I can't wait. I expect my blogging will treble in time and effort. I love blogging though. And my husband is really supportive but doesn't really get involved. It's my thing. It gives me a buzz but he's not really much of an onliner. He couldn't be happier about me doing it though.

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  4. me: i know you're not gonna wear that hat cause i'm taking pictures for the blog today.
    ed: i'll wear what i want.
    me: you're gonna look stupid and it's going on the blog no matter.
    ed: *takes the hat off*

    this is our scenario mostly every weekend.

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  5. My husband and I share a blog to help up date family members about our life and share our unique story. For the most part we switch days and work well together. It's funny how we have such different ideas on design and how the writing "looking cute" doesn't make sense to him! Now sharing a blog email account...holy crap, that's a whole different animal!

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  6. My husband has no idea what I do. I could write all kinds of crap about him and he wouldn't know. Fortunately for the both of us I don't do that. His involvement amounts to: supporting me writing posts, even pointless ones, and reading my blog when I ask him to.

    He's actually on my e-mail list for family members who don't want to check out the blog, but want to occasionally know what's going on in our lives. Ha!

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  7. It's definitely not great for my marriage - I turn into the Internet zombie you described! (But I don't like watching TV, so it gives me something to do while my husband watches TV at night.) The problem is what you described - he is ready for bed, and I say, "Ok, I'm going to finish this post and be right up!" - and then I finally make it upstairs an hour or more later, when he is snoring. No pillowtalk creates distance, that's for sure!

    I realized this and confessed to my husband that I knew my Internet/blog time was taking away from our time together. We have made some changes, such as putting a desk in the TV room, so at least I can blog and Internet surf in the same room when he does watch TV. He loves the blog and it's very important to his family, so we have to find the right balance. Meaning *I* have to find the right balance. Thanks for a candid, interesting post!

    P.S. I am not a big time blogger but I do have a housekeeper 2x/month, and can't recommend it more highly! I would sacrifice so much before I gave it up. I clean all the time anyway, but it's never deep cleaning, which makes a huge difference because I need a clean space to be happy. Plus I always have visitors and playdates for our girls, because I don't have to be embarrassed about dust. Do it if it will help you, and you will never go back!

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  8. I read almost every post to Micah before I post it. Mostly because I want to hear how it sounds and I don't like reading outloud to myself. He also taught me about Photoshop so that I can do it myself rather than asking him to help me every day. Teach a woman to fish . . . .

    He has also been uber-supportive of my blog and always gives me prompts or ideas when I'm suffering from writer's block.

    I must say, however, that blogging has nearly cured me of my internet addiction simply because I have very little energy to read tons of other stuff or comment after I've finished my post.

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  9. I JUST got a instant message from my husband which says "Do the triathlon post". He loves when I post. I've been a slacker since I've been pregnant cause I've been so tired, but it's such a fun outlet to keep in touch with friends and family. I'm always amazed when I get comments from random people. I love it, and need to get back to it!

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  10. Danny, come on Twitter is the bomb!

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  11. AAA: LOVE it. haha. One day Danny will realize that Twitter IS the news.

    SUSAN: You have one good man. I love hearing that.

    RIK: I freaking love it that your husband designed your blog & checks stats. That is adorable. Danny checks stats a ton, too. :) And you can tell your husband that I love the crisp, clean feel of your blog - and the photos are great!

    CARIN: I find it to be true that sometimes the computer issue can hold you back (though wish mine was on the "other side of the garden" in the U.K. haha. Sounds lovely. My problem is that sometimes photos I want to browse are on Danny's laptop, not mine...so I have to "borrow" his from time to time :)

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  12. REBECCA: Your comment had me laughing out loud. I can just picture it.

    LAUREN: Yeah, it certainly can get tricky when there are opposing opinions. I find that with us, it's sometimes a girl/guy thing. I say to Danny - "I think women will appreciate hearing this - or seeing this, etc." And he says - "oh yeah, guys don't care about that." haha. But luckily he's actually very sweet about it and realizes that many women are reading the blog so he defers to me a lot - like when it comes to adding photos :) haha.

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  13. TAMRA: Your comment made me laugh. Love it that he gets the family emails about what is going on. haha. But that's great that he supports you!

    ANONYMOUS: Love the idea to at least be closer in proximity while you guys do your thing. Good luck while finding more balance - it's something we all could use more of, I am sure. I know I do. And yes, I will one day jump on that housekeeper bandwagon. Right now with no kids I feel I can't justify...but oh, someday it would be great.

    LIZZIE: You have a dream blogger spouse. Graphic design + photoshop = a sweet blog life. And that's awesome that he taught you photoshop. Workshop please??

    ELLEN: Why, thank you!

    BRII: I love it! Your husband sounds like he's super encouraging. And yes, aren't comments so fun to get? I had no idea. I feel badly about all the years that I didn't comment.

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  14. My husband set up our blogs on his server (public, private, homeschool, doula... we have a lot of blogs now that I write that out!) He occasionally posts, more so on our private/journal one for the kids. But the funny thing is he's subscribed to our blog so he'll be at work and get something in his newsfeed about what we're doing at home and write me to say he's sad he's missing the fun. (Lucky me, he only works part days at the office.)

    As a gift my husband has been printing our obscenely huge private blog so we have a hard copy. It's literally years and years (since 2005) of our lives recorded and I LOVE that we have this for our children. We've included family recipes, pictures, adventures, love notes we write them for their birthdays, their birth stories, etc. We started the blog while we had a baby in the NICU and it's evolved over the years, but I really believe our blogs are our family journal and sacred scripture. :)

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  16. Blogging. Wow. It's been very interesting what my blog has done for me, more on a personal level. It has made me see myself more honestly...and that's been hard. I've compared my blog to others (mine is just personal mostly about my family and what I think about) and wanted to quit.

    My love language is definitely words of affimation, especially the written word. So my lack of comments from my very few readers made me feel unloved. But, I enjoy writing...and I kept going and pushed aside feelings I didn't like.

    My husband makes jokes about what I might put on the blog. He didn't read it and that hurt. I finally started emailing him the posts, then stopped when his lack of comment hurt too. (Sorry this is so whiny).

    I am trying to just start from where I am and move forward. The thing is, before I started my blog I don't think I saw myself as clearly, so it has been a blessing. I'm hoping I can find more peace in my marriage too.

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  17. Anonymous--I feel hurt when my husband ignores my personal blog, too. He's actually pretty good about reading things if I remind him, but he never comments. I wish he would, but then I have to remind myself that it's not his thing. That's something I am trying hard to remember--my husband is not me, and I am not him. Even though I love blogging, I have to remember that he doesn't have to. He can love our kids and me in person and doesn't have to be excited about reliving everything on the internet. (I know it still hurts sometimes, though!)

    Mara--I have my own (separate, family) blog, but I started a new blog under this pseudonym that's about my husband's addiction to pornography and I've actually been asking him to read what I write before I post it so we can talk about it and he can give me feedback. He has been open to reading the posts with me and it opens us up to lots of great conversation about his struggles and his triumphs and how I'm doing with the whole thing. It has been very therapeutic for us and has been strengthening our relationship and making this easier on both of us!

    I'm hoping that I can get more women to read my blog (and all the blogs on my side bar!) and join in the conversation via comments. So many people struggle with their husbands' addictions in silence. Blogging is a way for us to connect and support each other and make friends who truly understand how we feel.

    In fact, I've referred other women to your blog quite often, because I feel we need to be strengthening our marriage as much as possible and not JUST combating the pornography issue. A solid marriage will provide a sound foundation for fighting the adversary. You give lots of good advice on strengthening marriage, and I want the other women to have that advice, too!

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  18. Just the other day Jon said to me "I'm bored with mermag, you need to get a new post up". So I posted about being Super busy to keep him happy! I'm sure my readers thank him for being more on the ball than I am!

    And yes...my house is a disaster...

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  19. I love blogging cause it is way easier than scrapbooking and the best (only) journal I have kept consistently (4+ years boo ya!) and for that reason my husband likes it. He doesn't read it regularly, I usually have to remind him to check it out. He has said to me before, "why don't more people read your blog? it should totally be a famous blog." and that makes me laugh because it is not true, it is just a family journal. But the fact that he thinks so is a compliment.
    It doesn't affect him too much because I stay at home I usually blog in the morning or during the day when he is at work. But I am sure if I stopped blogging and cleaned my house more, he would like that too:)

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  20. I like many others here love to blog. I heard from a friend once that I could make money blogging so of course I had to ask her how to make big bucks. I started my own blog and within several months I was actually making money. It did end up taking more time than I thought and sometimes my husband wishes I would make more time for him. I think I might need to adjust my priorities a bit.

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  21. I have been blogging for just over 5 years now. We first started the blog to document our daughter coming home from China for our friends and family. But then a funny thing happened.... lots of other people started reading. At first, my VERY private husband was not too happy about that. But after a while he realized that A LOT of good was coming out of the blog. People were being helped. We ate gluten and dairy free and so there were people coming to learn about that. And it inspired others to consider adoption. Another woman wrote in about how an experience with our middle son brought them back to their faith. So, once he saw that it was a good thing...he is on board. The blogging community has been wonderful to me and my family. I am so grateful. Like you though, there are times that I am on the computer when I should be snuggling with him. I am going to try to be better about that. Thanks for the reminder;)

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    ReplyDelete

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