To My IVF Nurses

 To My Dear IVF Nurses,

You ladies have been so wonderful.  The best I’ve seen in New York.  When I first came to your office, I saw one of you give a hug to a another patient and I thought I had died and gone to heaven.

You know by now that I just cancelled my IVF…at the last possible second before buying $5,000 of non-refundable drugs and infusions, no less.

My gut just said to not do it yet.  So I actually feel relieved, even though I was really liking the possibility of being pregnant at Christmas time. 

You see, I’ve been doing all kinds of kooky things that you may not approve of.  I’ve been eating gluten free, dairy free, & soy free (very tricky, let me tell you).  And I’ve been trying my darnest to avoid sugar & high glycemic fruits.  I am also taking so many vitamins and supplements that it feels like I have a small meal in my stomach when I’m done.  I’ve been exercising, which has been fantastic.  And I eat kale for breakfast and salmon for dinner & drink green smoothies.  I just feel so healthy and good.  So I just got cold feet about putting all those drugs in there.

But MOSTLY, I have one more really, really kooky thing I am going to try.  Haha.  I found out about it the day before I had to pay for the drugs.  It will actually happen this Saturday in Chelsea.  And it might help me to get pregnant.  WE WILL SEE.  It’s one thing I have not tried (which is impressive, considering I have tried a lot.)  I promise that if it works, you’ll be the first to hear all about it (as will my lovely blog readers).  🙂

And if it doesn’t work, that will be ok, too.  Cause I’ll be even healthier if I return to your care.  And I’ll be happy that you will get to be my IVF nurses, since you’re the best ones I’ve ever met.


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  1. Kelly November 10, 2011 at 12:27 pm - Reply

    I did ivf 3x and 2 precious babies (1,3) because of the miracle of.medicine! One thing that helped was acupuncture so give that a whirl before you go back….if u even need to. Prayers sent your way! After 4 years.of trying( and yearning), I know how difficult the process is.


  2. Kim Russell Photography November 10, 2011 at 1:28 pm - Reply

    I just discovered your blog and I wanted to wish you good luck with everything. After going through 7 years of unexplained infertility I totally understand all your feelings. I remember feeling like I would never come out of it. I so wanted to have 3 children before I was 30 but ended up finally getting pregnant through IVF at 34. I am so happy today to have my little girl. I so hope you are able to get pregnant on your own and I think you will 🙂

  3. Elizabeth November 10, 2011 at 3:26 pm - Reply

    That's right… if it works you have to let us know what it was! Although I will say I truly believe tht everyone has a different path to parenthood and you have to go with your gut. I'm on the same route as you in doing all things natural to avoid putting so many drugs in my body. I did gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free, soy-free and meat-free for about a month and I will say that that sugar is the most difficult to keep out! That and the meat have been added back in in very small portions. I agree with a previous post of yours,it got rid of the pooch! Which is quite the achievement in itself. Still waiting for its effect on fertility…

  4. Desi McKinnon November 10, 2011 at 5:56 pm - Reply

    can't wait to hear about your journey. i love diverging paths.

  5. Anonymous November 10, 2011 at 7:16 pm - Reply

    I just started reading your blog. Your unexplained infertility reminds me of my own. I went the acupuncture and healthy eating way also. Never felt better in my life. Alas, after 7 attempts we did adoption. Loving life with 2 adorable children. I wish you luck on your continued journey!
    Cristee Trowbridge

  6. Bri!!! November 11, 2011 at 3:39 am - Reply

    I hope this works for you! We had our IVF consult set and found out we were pregnant after our first round of Femara (that drug made me so ill, but SO WORTH IT)! It felt so good to cancel that appointment. I hope you don't have to do IVF, but like you said, it's there waiting for you if you need it! IVF is truly a miracle when necessary!

  7. Creole Wisdom November 11, 2011 at 4:00 am - Reply

    I've got a crazy good salmon recipe that includes just salt, olive oil and lemon. If you can have those other things let me know and I'll send it to you.

    Kale is awesome and delicious. Why people act like it's kinda gross "health" food I'll never know.

    Thinking all of this works so you can be pregnant soon! I am so ready for you and Danny to get your victory.

  8. Anonymous November 11, 2011 at 3:06 pm - Reply

    You are so lucky to have IVF nurses that hug, I could never imagine mine giving hugs. They were courteous and all and am grateful to have them at all (thank you modern medicine) but there are those dreaded moments where a hug would have made all the difference. You deal with this with so much grace. You are truly a special person, wishing you the best!

  9. mara November 12, 2011 at 3:00 am - Reply

    Elizabeth – GOOD FOR YOU for making all those changes. You're awesome. I hope so much it will help you conceive. And if not, well, you are probably feeling super healthy, which is awesome.

  10. mara November 12, 2011 at 3:06 am - Reply

    You dear women that posted here… THANK YOU ALL so much! I am overjoyed to hear some of your stories of successful IVFs or adoption! It's wonderful that we can usually get a little family one way or another. And yes, I will definitely keep you all posted about what I am trying now. I'm excited about it, and if the results are good (even if it doesn't result in pregnancy) I will be very happy to share the info. with you. And if need be, I will reassess how I feel & may go for IVF in the near future. Either way, I'm excited to see what unfolds.

  11. april November 15, 2011 at 10:56 pm - Reply

    Hi. Just thought Id leave a note to say I've walked a mile or two in infertile shoes. Twelve years to be exact. I don't have any advice. I can't say anything to make it better, but I will say this: hang on. Do whatever you need to do to get through this trial. There is a silver lining to infertility. When it's over, it's over. I thank the Lord everyday that I won't have to live through that trial again.

  12. Heidi / I'm with Leia November 19, 2011 at 4:39 pm - Reply

    I' so hoping that 2012 will be your year. Remember how I felt like last year at this time, I had just gone through fertility treatment – gotten pregnant only to discover that it was outside the uterus. A million blood tests and many people poking me (down there), a shot of 'poison' (the same as they use against cancer' has left me exhausted and filled with anger. The doctor told me to avoid getting pregnant for the next 3 months – I laughed at them thinking that I couldn't get pregnant without help…..but overheld their advice. 4 months later when I went to get examined to start up again the doctor looked at the screen and then at me ' but you're already pregnant' he said. Now I have a little 6 week old boy. So wonders do happen and it'll happen to you too. In one way or an other. 2012 will be your year, I do hope so.

    greetings from Copenhagen

  13. The Mostess November 20, 2011 at 7:42 am - Reply

    New to your blog–I'm pulling for you! We did countless IUI's, 4 rounds of Clomid, 3 rounds of injectables…and then our nutty little baby made her way into our lives on the last round. I'm gearing up for Round Two, and trying to stay positive. I know feeling overwhelmed and discouraged won't help the process, but it's certainly been an effort to get back in the fertility game mentally. I also did acupuncture, and attribute our success to that–so it sounds like you're on the right path.

    I also really liked The Tao of Fertility. It's a great book. From your post, it sounds like you're following a similar diet/mindset.

    Best of luck to you guys!!

  14. Karen November 25, 2011 at 5:10 pm - Reply

    Just popped onto your blog and what a joy it has been to read! Your writing is so genuinely from the heart. Though I am way past child-bearing years (an early hysterectomy zilched my chances for birth children, but it worked out Ok and I am fine with how my life has evolved), I have two very close friends who went through acupuncture and both had 100% results from it. If you want to go that route, find a highl-recommended acupuncturist (Chinese, if you can find one) who has had success in that area. I fact, my acupuncturist has a whole bulletin board filled with baby pics which were a result of her help! Often times the acupuncture works in conjunction with IVF treatment. Something to think about if you haven't already.

    It will all work out!

  15. Melissa January 18, 2012 at 8:14 pm - Reply

    I pray that God will bless you with a child soon! I would suggest looking into Dr. Hilgers' NaProTechnology at the Pope Paul VI Institute. I know of numerous women who unsuccessfully tried IVF, but eventually were able to have a child with Dr. Hilgers help. NaProTechnology is a natural way of procreating; Dr. Hilgers addresses whatever is causing the infertility and seeks to correct it medically or surgically. My 3 younger siblings would not be here today if it were not for him!

    Call (402) 390-6600

    God Bless you!!

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