Romance & Clomid

what it's like to be on clomid
On a date night in New York. 

A friend told me that when they brought their baby home and started their lives with her, it was one of the most romantic times of their marriage.  Isn’t that so sweet?  I loved hearing that.

Well, it turns out, that infertility can bring on some romance, too.  This is what I wrote in my gmail journal awhile back:

“Today, I head into Manhattan at this insanely early hour to have an ultrasound, etc., to see how I am doing after a round of clomid.  As soon as I ovulate, we’ll inseminate at the Dr.’s office at a very calculated time.  All sounds pretty rotten, right?  Well – nope.  That is not my experience.  These months of infertility treatments have actually been an exciting, even romantic! time of our lives.  I just feel so giddy and rejuvenated to be doing this at all after so many years.  And the joy of having a devoted and loving man by my side as my companion is the greatest gift in the world.  And, he wants to have a baby with *ME* !!!  So how can I possibly be anything but grateful and thrilled?  Danny has been the biggest sweetheart.  He actually thanks me for going to Dr. appointments(!).  He surprised me with 2 shirts the other day which he picked out for me, and made me dinner, and he’s learning all the medical lingo, and is totally aware of what we should be doing and when 🙂   He truly has been loving and wonderful (and fun and sexy 🙂 about the whole thing.”

Ladies, as I re-read my journal entry, I realized that ….

One of my tricks to getting through trials is just choosing to be grateful for what I DO have (i.e. A HUSBAND) instead of focusing on what I don’t have.

I’ve been without a husband, and so to even have the opportunity to try for a baby at all (let alone have sex! ha!) is such a privilege.  And when I didn’t have a husband, I was grateful for my life, for my friends and family, for the wisdom that I was gaining.  I am telling you dear ladies, being grateful will definitely make your burdens lighter, no matter what they are.  

What are you grateful for right now that is helping to get you through your trials? 


P.S. Danny literally goes nuts every time I wear these women’s button-up shirts from Uniqlo.  He likes them so much that I have several in different colors, due to him.  He just loves, loves the fit and thinks they look pretty darn sexy on a woman. (He says they are a cinch to iron, as well.)

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  1. lizzie October 4, 2011 at 5:30 pm - Reply

    I so love that he likes those shirts because they are easy to iron.

    Also, I love that idea of focusing your thoughts on what you do have, even if a lot of your efforts are put towards something you don't. I think it goes along with Pres. Uchtdorf's comments about not forgetting to be happy now. When I think of it that way, it makes it hard to even remember the things that I wish I had.

  2. danny October 4, 2011 at 5:44 pm - Reply

    Nice catch Lizzie…it's true I do iron her clothes on occasion…that's because I ROCK at ironing…besides, how else can I get us to church on time.

    The best part about those shirts is they don't have all the extra seams and pleats that so many women's shirts have…they're just like a guy's shirt and take about 1 min to iron!

  3. Mara Kofoed October 4, 2011 at 7:32 pm - Reply

    Lizzie – thanks so much! I agree wholeheartedly. I have already listened to Pres. Uchtdorf's talk 3 times. 🙂

  4. chelsea October 5, 2011 at 4:47 am - Reply

    I totally agree! During a dark time last year, I tried to go a week without complaining and it was a really great exercise in focusing on what I do have to be grateful for. It really changed my outlook on things.

  5. Laurie October 5, 2011 at 2:19 pm - Reply

    I was just thinking this the other day. I was having a hard time and wasn't sure how to get back to "me". Well, I thought, just think of all the amazing opportunities the Lord has blessed you with, both big and small, and that should do the trick! It did. As well as listening to conference and going to the temple. What a great reminder of the promises we are blessed when we do what HE asks. Love this gospel!!!!

  6. mara2 October 11, 2011 at 7:51 pm - Reply

    Laurie & Chelsea – thanks for sharing your powerful comments. So cool to hear about you guys turning your bad experiences around simply by changing your thoughts & perspective. Powerful! We have a great post coming up on this about how faith is a double edged sword…what we believe (or have faith in) determines how we view & experience life. We can have faith in positive things or faith in negative things, and either way, that belief will determine our experience. Thx, again, for writing! XO

  7. Bri!!! October 12, 2011 at 10:16 pm - Reply

    Just made a comment on another post of yours. This is SO TRUE. Gratitude is what can carry us through our trials. You have a unique perspective on being able to be grateful to have a husband to do the fertility treatments with! Very cool.

    I did probably around 6 rounds of clomid and had two losses while taking clomid. This last pregnancy happened on my first time using Femara. You probably have already heard of it, but I honestly think it's a miracle drug!

  8. Bianca October 17, 2011 at 12:08 am - Reply

    I love this! Thanks for that reminder. I too have such a great man by my side who is supportive of infertility ups and downs, and what a blessing it is to have such a great guy who loves me and wants to have children with me! And lately I have been putting a daily "forget-me-not" in a jar on my bookshelf that I intend to open on Thanksgiving. But my oh my, the blessings I have are endless! I just have to be sure to notice them and not forget how truly blessed I am. (Thanks President Uchtdorf for the amazing "forget-me-not" talk that has really brought more healing into my life)

  9. Bianca October 17, 2011 at 12:10 am - Reply

    **Oh, and by "putting a daily 'forget-me-not' in a jar…" I mean that I write down on a slip of paper something that brought me joy that day and made my day lovely. Sorry for not explaining that. 🙂

  10. Emily October 21, 2011 at 5:27 pm - Reply

    I found your blog through Erin (Sutton Grace). Thank you for sharing your trials and triumphs. I totally agree that focusing on what I have is so much more productive than focusing on what I don't have. I just lost another baby two weeks ago and have been blessed to still find happiness in life and have other good things happen.

  11. Anonymous April 26, 2014 at 5:58 am - Reply

    nice post

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