22 October 2011

The Little Trials


This post is about LITTLE trials.  I am sure we ALL have little things that annoy us (you are about to find out mine.  yikes.)  But, it turns out that these little trials are AMAZING LITTLE MONITORS & TEACHERS that let us know how we're doing.  If we pay attention to how we react to them, they can point out to us that we might need to change our perspective and make adjustments so that we can stay on track.  And, they provide the best PRACTICE for applying our strength & beliefs!  (This was my key to figuring out all this stuff.... literally putting it all into practice, practice, practice.  )  

And best of all...... 

These little trials help us build confidence in our abilities to conquer things, so that when *BIG* trials come along, we know we can kick some butt! 

Ok - here goes...I'll tell you my process for handling my little trials by just picking three that come to mind, from my recent past...

-My skin has been breaking out.  Like crazy!!  For MONTHS!!  It may be related to the infertility drugs I've been taking.  But, it has been no fun looking in that mirror and seeing a horrific display of 14 year-old boy acne staring me in the face.  So embarrassing!  (on the bright side, I guess you could say it makes me feel youthful?  haha. :)

I know that if I let it, this annoyance could bug me enough that it could do me in for the night and keep me from being cheerful & loving & happy in the 2 hours that I get to spend with my husband each night.  So I try not to dwell on it.  And I tap into my inner strength.  And I remind myself that succumbing to embarrassment or insecurity will send a bad vibe into my home.  And that would be ridiculous!  So I have decided to be at peace with my face, no matter what shape it is in right now, and keep a smile on my face.  It's working.  [Though it didn't stop me from buying a Clarisonic, which I kept hearing raves about.  So something good came out of this. :)  And many thanks to Design Mom for her recommendation.  I simply couldn't resist.]

Next one....

-I feel old for being a want-to-be-mother.  I'm nearly 35, and not a newborn in sight.  I am OK with being the age of 35.  In fact, I wouldn't want to be 25 again.  Life has just gotten so sweet with age.   But, I am still totally off track from where I always thought I'd be as a mother.  I know many women who are ok with starting motherhood in their late thirties, but that was never something I planned on.  Plus, I only have a few more years to even have kids at all, so that is on my mind.   And, I worry that I'll already be so old & worn out that I won't have the energy to run around kids, even if I do have them.  Wah, wah!  Poor, pathetic me.  I know!  
So how do I deal with this one?  I constantly try to remind myself of the gift my life has been - especially BECAUSE of my infertility.  And I try to focus on the fact that I will be such a WISER mother, compared to what I would have been in my twenties (wow).  So I try to be grateful for my situation.  And I try to accept my life for what it is instead of resisting it and that includes embracing this time to make my life meaningful (and it has been!)  I try to believe that at whatever age a child comes to our family, I'll have enough energy to raise them.  And my kids will survive.  I remind myself that raising kids is not about ME and my agenda.  It's about serving some little ones & helping them on their way.  And I should be doing that at every age, anyway.  So, gone.  Dismissed.  Done.

-I don't have a ton of time to make myself pretty these days!  Most days, I get dressed in the dark and I do my hair in 0 seconds.  Meaning, I wake up and I don't do one dang thing to it before I have to race out the door at either 6 am or 7 am, then not home from work til 8 pm.  For this one,  I just have to accept that this phase of my life is temporary.  And I work on FEELING good & beautiful inside, even though I don't look as good as I'd like sometimes cause of these very long work days.  
I try my best to do this not only for myself, but for my husband.  There are few things worse (& completely unattractive) than a wife that walks around feeling unhappy or depressed because of the way she looks. 

OK, so that's my beef.  I know these are painfully ridiculous....But like I said, I'm thankful for all of these "little trials" cause they remind me to keep my overall perspective in tip top shape.  It's kind of fun, actually, when you get going with it.   And the number one thing I try to remember whenever these crappy little worries enter my head......in those moments that I succumb to fear, insecurity, worry & doubt, I am not full of love.  I am not full of the goodness from God.  I am not full of gratitude.  I am not full of hope.  So............talk about motivation to keep those thoughts at bay.

I hope you will join me in embracing these little trials and feeling grateful for them.  If we use them to practice, they really can help us to become kick butt women (& men!).  

With love,

Mara

P.S.  On the subject of skincare, I must tell you that this stuff has done more for my skin than anything else on this planet (& oh boy, I've tried everything).  Whenever I take fish oil very regularly, my skin improves a TON!   I can't remember the last time I googled "how to unclog pores" and I hardly wear foundation anymore cause my natural skin just looks that much better.  And, of course, it's good for baby-making & brain cells, too.

Photos by Bastienne Schmidt, a photographer whose work I'm enjoying.

9 comments:

  1. I can't even express how much I love your blog. I've been married for 11 years and have 2 kiddos so at first I was like...well...totally different stage in life and how exactly would I relate to them? But sheesh...such joy and hope in your words and I am grateful to have found your little piece in the www;) But the main reason for my comment... I just bought the clarisonic and I cannot WAIT to try it out!

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  2. Hello Mara, i have to start saying that I met Danny in Manaus many many years a go, so sorry if anything I write here may sound a litle confusing, but I know you can get help with with the "translation"... I feel so inspired by your words... thank you! Then say that I am so happy to find your blog. I was almost 30 when I met the love of my life and 3 years later, after being considered infertile, we where so excited and shoked to find out I was pregnant with our Abby... my husband got depployed to Iraq this year and 3 weeks later I found a new pregnancy, due in febuary 2012, Abby just turned one in september... I found life so full of surprises... and timing being so out of our hands... I m amazed of how much the Lord really knows the desires of our hearts and that only He knows the best time for everything... we all have different lives and experiences but I am so glad that we can share the way we overcome the LITLE trials that seems to be so big when our eyes are focused in our own understanding of timing and best... Again Thank you for sharing and inspiring... Elane

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  3. Thank you so much for this post. I always say that happiness is found in the little things, and I think it makes sense that wisdom and strength can be found through the little trials.

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  4. Elane - thank you for sharing, and no translation needed, your post was perfect! (at least better than any comment I might have left in portuguese).

    Please give "um abraco" to your family in Manaus! I have a lot of love for them.

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  5. Thanks for this post. It was so inspiring. So uplifting. And so true!! One thing I'm still trying to figure out...and maybe you can shed light on this for me...is how do you have hope and trust at the same time? I have a hard time putting all my faith and hope in the dream I have of one day having kiddies of my own...but at the same time surrendering my will to God and just simply trusting that if for some reason I'm not granted that desire in this life, I can still have a happy and fufilling life. But when I start thinking about the possibility of it not happening, then I feel my trust is strengthened but my faith and hope is somehow made weaker because I'm starting to imagine life without those hopes and dreams. Does this make any sense at all? I still haven't quite figured it out. Let me know if you have any thoughts.

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  6. Bianca, please see today's Q & A post where Mara and I share some of our thoughts on your question.

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  7. Thanks for the post, and I love the pictures. We all go through little trials, some littler than others. Trying to kick them in the butt is way better than being depressed about them. Thank you for inspiring me!

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  8. Great, thanks Danny. I'm just about to read it now.

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  9. As you've found, love can happen at any age. You've found the right person, and in some way, a child can come to you, and trust me, you'll be exhausted, but completely happy and thrilled to have your little one not matter how old your are. I had my one and only in my early 40s, and just love him to pieces.

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